Another DC crossover event and somehow they kinda make it work?? We look at Legion #75 - 77 and Legionnaires #32 - 34

Welcome back! This week is going to be an interesting one because the creative team decided, for these six issues, that it was better to focus on the smaller subplots and the characters than try to do anything big or groundbreaking. There are some hits and misses and it's all tied into yet another DC crossover that, in all honesty, the Legion should never be a part of.

It's Underworld Unleashed, which I have absolutely no memory of and don't care to read anything to make sense of it. Basically, DC wants fans to buy as many of their books this month to get every part of this "story" and they're all connected to a three-issue miniseries. Unfortunately for this one, I don't think anyone cared about Flash villains selling their souls for more power.

I also think, by this point in time, that comic fans were fairly tired of all of these crossovers and didn't want anything to do with them unless something big actually happened. Crisis on Infinite Earths worked because there were dramatic changes to the DCU. Millennium didn't because there weren't. Oh sorry, Laurel Kent was actually a robot - does that make anyone want to buy a comic?

Let's be honest, if you're seeing this new crossover coming in 1995, based on this list, are you excited?

• 1985 - Crisis on Infinite Earths
• 1986 - Legends
• 1988 - Millennium
• 1989 - Invasion!
• 1991 - Armageddon 2001
• 1991 - War of the Gods
• 1992 - Eclipso: The Darkness Within
• 1993 - Bloodlines
• 1994 - Zero Hour: A Crisis in Time

One epic tale, a couple of okay stories, but the rest are pretty meh.

In case you're wondering, Underworld Unleashed did not help the Legion in sales at all, so you could say it's an epic failure from that perspective.

LSH #75

Legionnaires #32

The next two issues are all about time travel, so if your brain starts hurting, you're not alone.

We start with XS, who's flying through the timestream after losing the rest of her teammates and is trying to figure out how to get home. Or safe. Or, at the very least, out of the timestream. She spots a metal bubble (I think) and flies towards it.

Inside the bubble are two people, Chronos and Lori Morning. Chronos is the C-list villain who got his powers leveled up in this crossover and now he can easily move through time. Lori Morning is a 10-year-old girl who's trapped in this time device. They bring XS inside and, since she speaks Interlac and the other two speak English, they can't communicate. No idea why they'd save her except for story reasons, but here we are.

So here's something that's been bothering me since last week. If Brainy is so smart, and plans for everything, why didn't he build something into the universal translators so that the Legionnaires would be able to communicate in the past? You would think that would be a big concern. And, as he pointed out before, they didn't need to rush back to figure out what happened to Valor because it's time travel - they could've spent a week preparing and then left. I mean, even I know that a person from today couldn't travel back to England in 1024 and expect to be able to communicate with anyone. Why didn't Brainy know this?

Continuing this rant on the language problems - when did DC editorial decide to put a straight line beside every letter in Interlac? More importantly, why? It's much harder to read.

We go back to San Clemente, California, in 1995 and XS has to try to figure out how to escape when she can't communicate with anyone.

I really like what they did next - they split the page into two and told two different battles between Chronos and the Legion/XS. They're connected, but not, and both teams end up basically figuring out the best way to defeat this villain. It's a great juxtaposition and a great way to write something that's built around time travel.

Unfortunately, the ending really disappoints as suddenly XS understands, kinda, what Lori is saying and rebuilds Chronos' glove, which is how he controls his time powers. I don't know when she became a scientific genius, or able to understand English, or, even more confusing, able to actually use the glove to control time. But she does, saving the day and making the guest stars, great Beverly Hills-based actors, return to their normal ages.

And, since they need Chronos to get the glove back and head to the future with Lori, they forget that XS has super-speed so they can make the comic make sense.

The book ends with the Legion HQ being partially demolished by the time powers and XS excited to hear a single name - "Wally West". Since that plot line will be resolved in Impulse, and I don't have the time or inclination to read it, let's just hope everything works out.

In Legionnaires #32, we deal with the fallout of part of the Legion HQ collapsing. The team is trapped in the rubble, Chronos has disappeared and only his costume remains, and Lori has become an adult.

Valor shows up and start rescuing everyone, not even trying to keep hidden. Once everyone is safe, he and Lori start speaking English - how does he still remember? Actually, when you think about it, how is he able to communicate with anyone? Wouldn't he have forgotten language over 1,000 years? Or has he been practicing in the Stasis Zone?

Also, when will I stop typing Mon-El whenever I refer to him?

Invisible Kid realizes that, because the time platform was destroyed, Brainy is trapped in the timestream. His solution - grab a huge power cable and connect it back together, making a power overload, just like they did to talk to Valor. At least, I think that's what he's trying to do. If he's just connecting power cables and hoping for the best, maybe he's not as smart as we think he is.

We see the destruction of part of the Legion HQ was caused by Chronos making the metal rust and it collapsed (you would think they'd have better building supplies in the 30th Century), and artist Jeff Moy really struggles with scale in this panel. The HQ looks like it's maybe 5 stories high.

And, finally, after months and months, we finally see Kinetix again. Or Zoe, since she doesn't have any powers. She's still in her broken spaceship, which has basically stopped working, and is drifting aimlessly. Suddenly the ship is engulfed in white light and she disappears. Okay, now I know what her real superpower is - she can survive without food, water, or air for weeks.

Rond Vidar has made his return to Legion comics and Cosmic Boy needs his help to figure out what to do with Lori, who's finally got some telepathic plugs and can communicate with everyone. Since Vidar works at the Time Institute, which the U.P. President suddenly wants shut down, he's the perfect person to work with.

The SPs shut down what Lyle's doing in the Legion HQ to save Brainy and then head over to the Time Institute to do the same with Vidar. But they need to stop them to get Brainy to safety. Luckily, they still have Chronos' costume, which suddenly comes back to life as the villain reappears to cause more problems. Why do I say luckily? Because all they need to do is shove Chronos into Brainy and the Legionnaire amazingly reappears, completely fine.

Well, kinda fine. He's immediately arrested by the SPs for researching time travel and Cosmic Boy just lets it happen. Everyone's shocked but was he supposed to start fighting the police?

This two-parter was pretty weak, both art and story-wise. They tried their best to use the time travel to their own benefit, and pulled off one interesting section, but for the most part it just ends up failing. Not a great way to end 1995.

LSH #76

I was listening to an interview with Mike Carlin and he was asked why they started adding an extra numbering system to the Superman books. For those who don't remember, there were four Superman titles running and the storylines were all interconnected. Then, in January 1991, a small triangle started appearing on all the books, showing what "chapter" they were in the continuing story. Most people believed that they did this to make it easier for readers to follow what was going on. But Carlin revealed that they did this because he could never remember what order the stories were in and this was to help him keep everything straight.

In January 1996, the Legion decided to copy this and we're now seeing little Legion logos with the chapter number in it. On one hand, I think this is a good idea and I think it helps tie the Legion to DC continuity. On the other hand, is it so hard to follow two books?

This issue is a "let's slow down, not worry about a main story, and just concentrate on character work and subplots" book, so let's just list off the big things that happen:

• We get the return of three characters, one of which hasn't been seen before:
• Chuck Taine, formerly Bouncing Boy, is introduced as an architectural student who's going to help fix the Legion HQ. The sarcastic side of me thinks, "Wow! Fans are clamoring for more Legionnaires to join the team, such as fan favorites like Shadow Lass, Wildfire, or Dawnstar, and we get this?" Also, why would they want an intern? Wouldn't they want to hire someone with experience?
• Star Boy, who we last saw on Xanthu, joins the team - in a very weird plot point, they reveal that he's broken both of his arms and has casts. So, just a few months ago, Shvaughn Erin gets her back broken and she's fine just one issue later, but Star Boy needs casts? Can we have even the slightest amount of consistency?
• Gates, who rejected Legion membership before and now has been forced onto the team. His only personality trait so far is that he hates the Legion and loves Karl Marx, which gets boring just a couple of panels in. They could've done so much here, as having a team member who doesn't want to be there and hates the organization is a great idea. The execution, however, is really flat. I will give bonus points for having a non-humanoid member, though.
• The Espionage Squad gets back together and Invisible Kid suggests their next mission should be to work against Cosmic Boy. I've mentioned this before, but has no one thought about actually talking to their leader? Or replacing him? Couldn't they force any election?
• The Winema Wazzo plotline starts to heat up and she meets Ultra Boy and begins ripping him apart for her daughter's death. Jo professes his love for Tinya, talking about how much she meant to him, and Winema believes him. They then start talking about how they can destroy the Legion because of Tinya's death. Every scene with Jo just feels like they've ratcheted the melodrama up to eleven and I'm watching a bad soap opera.
• Leviathan continues to be the character the writers really seem to hate. In every scene he's either the jerk or the butt of the jokes. I mean, when even Violet is ripping you apart for what you wear, you know you're in rough shape.
• Apparently Spark is the prettiest girl on the team, as both Lyle and Tenzil Kim ask her out before she finds another present from her secret admirer. Lyle asking her out is even weirder in hindsight when the admirer is revealed.
• Valor leaves the team, not wanting to hide anymore. He tells a sobbing Triad this news, which makes no sense as you would think she'd be the last person he'd want to talk to.
• Kinetix wakes up on a strange planet and discovers that an old woman named Mysa has saved her. Well, I think it's Kinetix. Lee Moder's artwork is shaky at best this issue and, since he's unable to make the characters look the same from panel to panel, if they're not in their costumes, it's hard to recognize them. I honestly feel bad continually crapping on his artwork, but it's just so obvious issue to issue.
• Saturn Girl and Rond Vidar (who definitely should know better) just let Lori Morning run out of the Time Institute into 30th Century Metropolis. Again, even I know this is a horrible idea. But Vidar, who's the expert, doesn't seem to care.
• The U.P.'s desire to stop time travel continues, as SPs are sent to the Time Institute to shut everything down.
• We get a new villain, who's wearing a rejected Magneto costume with a mask. He attacks the Time Institute, sending everything into chaos. I'm all in favor of new villains and not just bringing back the classics all the time, but this one is pretty mediocre.

Legionnaires #33 - warning, this scene does not occur in this issue

Saturn Girl fans will love the beginning of this issue. It's her against the new villain (who's not named, so I'm just gonna call him 4-Fingers, cause he's got differently colored fingers that do four different things - melt, liquefy, burn, and disintegrate.

Since the Science Police are completely useless, Imra's got to save the day while Rond destroys all his research. She's unable to use her powers, so she's got to use her fighting skills and brain to defeat 4-Fingers. And she does, sending him rushing away. They've made her into one of the most capable Legionnaires and I hope they continue with this.

A little bit later, the U.P. President (who's name I don't remember and can't be bothered to go look it up) calls the Legion and says that 4-Fingers is on the planet Guron and attacking people there. So the Legion sends a large team to go and take care of the problem. This further shows Saturn Girl's abilities as, while she could defeat him by herself, the Legion figures they need a team of heroes to take him down.

In true Legion fashion, they don't even get to engage in battle as 4-Fingers does the following:

• Disintegrates their ship, forcing them to fly to the surface
• Disintegrates Invisible Kid's flight ring, forcing another team member to save him
• Disintegrates the air around the Legionnaires, knocking them all unconscious from lack of oxygen (let's ignore the fact that since nature abhors a vacuum, air molecules would almost immediately enter the space around the Legionnaires and they'd be breathing again - and also ignore the fact that this has happened to the Legionnaires twice now and someone should tell them to activate their transuits before going into battle)

Only Violet is still conscious and she's going to battle 4-Fingers alone... next issue...

This issue also reveals that Star Boy has a new power that he can't control - he can blast people with lightning, I think...

And Mysa starts telling Zoe about a magical, emerald-colored eye...

Yep, we're just building subplots now.

LSH #77

We'll leave that story behind for a moment to put the spotlight on Brainiac 5, who's sitting in a cell on Takron-Galtos since he was arrested for time travel.

The warden has been told to get all the secrets to time travel out of Brainy's mind and, since interrogation hasn't worked, he's hired a Titanian to read the Legionnaire's mind. Nara Minsork is a fugitive, wanted by the police, but decided that the money was worth it so she walks into the biggest prison in the galaxy. Okay, so we've established that she's an idiot.

This issue provides Brainy's "origin", so to speak, as we learn about his upbringing, raised by robots and the Coluan council. We get a bit of history about the first three Brainiacs: the original Superman villain, the leader of L.E.G.I.O.N., and his son. I'm always confused why the third Brainiac existed in the 20th Century and then, somehow, no one had the name for 1,000 years and then the fourth came to be. Is this a designation given by the planet? Did the third one live 1,000 years? Do the writers care that this doesn't make sense? I know we've talked about this before in this column, and the comments below explained this, but it's something that still irks me as I'm reading these stories.

Since Nara can't "read" Brainiac 5's mind easily, she uses a mind-grabber, which is an illegal device that makes it easier for her to get inside his thoughts. It's illegal because it could end up shutting down Brainy's mind. But as she needs to get the secrets to time travel out of his mind, she doesn't care about any potential damage she might cause.

Now that she's got more access, she learns about Brainy's childhood. He was hated by the Coluans and, once they were sick of the damage his experiments caused, they sent him to live in one of R.J. Brande's labs. But he kept destroying things, so Brande made him a member of the Legion. Not sure how that's better, or how that saves him money, but this issue doesn't really have any internal logic, so I'm not too worried about it.

We finally get to the reason why Brainy is so interested in time travel - he wants to meet Brainiac 4, his mother, who gave him up at birth and never saw him again. As his birth was the only happy memory of his existence, it's the one thing he's holding onto.

Nara takes that memory as the one she's been searching for, even though it obviously isn't and she's completely failed her mission, and tries to escape Brainy's mind. But he's too smart for her and kicks her out without it. Since she's failed, she's arrested by the warden and sent to a cell. Yep, everyone here is an idiot.

If I knew nothing about the character and knew no Legion history, you could have told me that this was a villain origin story and I'd believe it. Brainy ends up being portrayed as a complete sociopath here and is really never shown in a positive light. I know they're trying to change that character and make him more interesting, but this doesn't work at all. I mean, could they not have shown that he cared even a little bit about Andromeda? Or had any emotional connection to anyone? Or wasn't a complete monster?

Legionnaires #34

And we're back to the regularly scheduled fight...

Violet has been undergoing some personality changes. She going to get a new costume, her voice bubbles are going to become regular size, and she's becoming more confident in herself. So when she flies into battle again 4-Fingers, she takes him apart pretty easily. She breaks his mask, smashing it to pieces, and leaves him bloody and battered.

Unfortunately, it's Jan Arrah behind the mask and she's immediately apologetic for causing so much damage.

They take him back to Legion HQ and Saturn Girl probes him mind to find out what happened. They are also able to enter his mind and record his memories, which comes in handy later. They discover that Winema Wazzo zapped Jan on Trom, wiped his memories, and sent him to destroy the Legion. They take that recording to the United Planets and show the government what one of their ambassadors has done.

But before anyone can get arrested, the President recognizes something on a video screen on Jan's ship and ends the entire meeting. She takes the Legionnaires down to a secret bunker and reveals something that no one has ever heard of: on the screen was a Sun-Eater, a creature that literally does what it's called.

The President has the perfect plan - there are five people in the galaxy who are, in her words, "genetically-enhanced living weapons" and they can use them to destroy the Sun-Eater. Longtime Legion fans will know exactly who they are:

• Mano
• Tharok
• Validus
• The Persuader
• The Empress of Venegar

She gives the Legion a mission: break them out of whatever prisons they're in and get The Fatal Five back together to stop the Sun-Eater. All the Legionnaires agree, except Gates, who may be the smartest Legionnaire already, and they head off to find the villains.

We can't forget Zoe here - Mysa gives her some of her magical powers and suddenly Kinetix has a new costume, new skin color, and pointy ears. Cool - I always like when there's some magic in the Legion. Then Mysa tells her to get out and find the Emerald Eye. Everything's coming together, isn't it?

Finally, a mysterious figure tells Tharok that everything is going to plan and if he does what they've agreed to, he'll be well compensated. What will they do? Destroy the Legion, of course.

 

Some random thoughts about these six issues:

• Props for tying a horrible crossover into the Legion and somehow making it make a little bit of sense. As much as I wasn't a big fan, it could've resulted in another Jamm...
• Am I the only one who doesn't care about any of the Lori Morning subplots? I find it amazing that the team is so cavalier about someone from the 20th Century just wandering around the future and every single moment just leaves me scratching my head? When Lori is arrested and charged with petting someone, Saturn Girl just walks into the SP station and leaves with her. I guess the charges are just dropped?
• Could they try not to make the Science Police look like complete buffoons? I get that they're the "villains" here, operating under the President's orders, but they are incompetent in every instance. You would think they'd be able to do something, anything right.
• Why is Gim being portrayed as such a jerk? Every scene shows him in a horrible light and, at this point, why would any Legionnaire want to be around him for even a millisecond? I'm not sure what the point of this is. Just last year he was growing into a leadership role while being awkward. Now, he's just a character to hate. Between him, Brainy, and Rokk, who's the worst?
• I've mentioned this before about Tom McCraw, and I know this is nitpicking, but I can't understand how a co-writer of this book makes huge coloring mistakes. In this case, it's his inability to color the U.P. President the same from book to book. It wouldn't be a big deal if one of the artists could draw her and Winema Wazzo differently, but they can't, so it is.
• I mentioned this last week and I'm going to say it again - does no one in the Legion feel any pride, or get any respect, for the fact that they single-handedly defeated the White Triangle threat and literally saved the galaxy? Everyone's walking about moping and defeated and the rest of the universe still treats them like they're dirt. I just don't get it.
• Is it bad that I'm actually happy we didn't have to see much of weepy Ultra Boy? And I liked Ultra Boy. Wow - how to completely ruin a character.

Now let's take a look at the next Legionnaire on our list:

 

What do you think about Triplicate Girl/Triad/Duo Damsel?

• To be honest, before the PZH reboot, I didn't think much of her so I have less to write here than usually. She was a background character who showed up with Bouncing Boy, helped out during big crises, and then sacrificed one of her selves when battling the Time Trapper. I don't know if she had much, if any, of her own agency and writers would just kinda throw her into stories to show Legion history.
• Getting into the PZH Legion, however, she's become one of the most interesting characters. The multiple personalities aspect is great and, for the most part, she's been handled really well. I think there's so much they could do with her and I'm not sure they achieved even half of this.
• Because of this, I tend to think of these two versions as completely different characters and not a reboot. Duo Damsel and Triad are not the same characters at all.
• I struggle with writers forgetting that she is, essentially, human-powered and can only split into three. We'll talk about this more in later issues/stories.
• Speaking of powers, and I've mentioned this before, but I would like them to actually define what her powers are. Can she triplicate anything she's holding? How do her three personalities end up in different costumes? I think they kinda get into this in the next reboot.
• For all her history with Bouncing Boy, I don't know that she needs to be with him. That whole relationship seemed fairly one-sided, with Chuck basically worshiping her and putting up with all her crushes and quirks and Luornu just kinda being there because he stayed with her after Computo killed one of her selves.
• Their relationship in the 70's comics is very... interesting... to say the least. There are more than a few references which are very non-Comics Code friendly and I'm amazed the writers got that into print. It does, however, explain why Chuck put up with some of the things she did.

 

Thoughts? Please share below and let me know if you agree/disagree.

Next week, we get the return of the Fatal Five and the continuing mystery of who's trying to destroy the Legion... is it a mystery though?