I can't believe we're so close to a 100th issue of the Legion... kinda wish they weren't stumbling towards it! We look at Legion 96 - 98 and Legionnaires 53 - 55

So I'm heading off again this week (gotta love Spring Break) and I'm going to be far away from my computer for the week. So I won't be as quick responding to any comments and I may be posting next week's column a little later. But please don't mean that I won't be reading your comments - I always enjoy reading your opinions and memories about these books.

One thing I wanted to comment on before we get into this - I refer to the idea of throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks and wanted to explain my bad metaphor before we start. There are certain series, both in comics and TV, where you can tell the writers don't really have a plan and are just throwing everything at the wall, hoping something catches on. By this point in the Legion, I'm starting to feel like both books, with Legion being the stronger example, are doing this. Once the Mordru saga ended, they lost focus and just prayed the audience loved something.

I think this is also a product of the declining sales. I imagine that, by this point, DC is starting to light some fires under editorial. They bring in Roger Stern so they have a "name" creator. They pull half the team into the 20th Century and the Final Night and Genesis mini-series to boost sales. But with that increased attention comes increased criticism. So they're hoping something happens that gets the readership to stick around. I can't imagine that's a fun place to be for anyone working on this book, but I also don't think it defends some of the bad choices they made.

But enough about sales, let's get into the comics.

Before we start, however, I wanted to ask a few questions for plot points that were never resolved:

·         How did the Legion get from 1958 to 1997?

·         Why were they in 1958?

·         Was all of this answered in an issue of Showcase or something? If so, which one?

·         Did anyone who was reading at the time understand just what was going on?

LSH #96 - what a weird cover choice for a wedding issue

There are very few issues that make me angry. For anyone who's read these columns for a while, you know that I usually end up either liking the comic, disliking the comic, or worse, being completely ambivalent towards it. Sometimes I'm just irritated by bad storytelling or bad art.

I save my anger when the comic destroys the characters or makes such mind-numbingly bad choices that I'm angry I wasted my time reading it.

This issue makes me angry.

Ever since half the Legion ended up in the 20th Century, I've been irritated by horrible storytelling that just kept compounding the excrement. Characters do things that completely against who they are. Characters magically have skills and powers that they never had before. Characters are just genuinely nasty to each other for absolutely no reason. One or two I can look past. When it's the entire book, it just gets unreadable.

Let's recap the big reveal this issue:

Saturn Girl has been mentally controlling Cosmic Boy ever since he went into the coma, which was caused by Imra's powers in the first place. As she desperately needed some sort of structure in her life, she chose a relationship with Rokk that was heading towards marriage. Shvaughn was the first to realize what was going on as she watched Rokk "turn off" when Imra wasn't paying attention to him.

Then, during the wedding ceremony, Imra's powers made Rokk look like her idealized version of Live Wire as she subconsciously sabotaged her own wedding because she realized that she was actually in love with Garth.

Even though we had spent multiple issues frantically trying to save Rokk and get him out of the coma, and they stopped trying to help him, kinda, when Imra woke him up, all of that is washed away and Triad is able to save him quickly and easily. Like, honestly, one page and he's back. No issues with being in a coma for so long. No health issues. He just wakes up.

Imra tells him what happened:

You've been... comatose. For weeks, and I... I used you like a puppet. I didn't consciously know I was doing it. But that doesn't make any difference. I guess I could have maintained it forever. But something saved you. Something inside me... You were rescued... by my love... for Garth.

And Rokk's response:

Then... I guess I'd better get to work... I'm not going to rest until you and Garth are reunited.

Why does this make me angry?

Because Rokk has just realized that a good friend abused and assaulted him in the worst possible way. He's just had the woman who he's in love with (remember back when the Eye revealed his heart's desire was to kiss Imra) tell him that she's been mind controlling him for a while and doesn't actually love him. He should be broken, shocked, angry, stunned, and frantic. Instead, nothing. No response. And this is how they've been writing him for a while. He's a teenage boy who reacts like a soulless robot. This is pure insanity and insulting to the character and the book.

And if that wasn't bad enough, here's the rest of the stupidity of this issue:

·         Inferno quits, throwing her Legion flight ring at Ultra Boy. Okay, so she can fly. I completely missed that before. But where did they find her a flight ring?

·         Jo and Tinya are fighting because she's a ghost and they can't touch. So how do they solve their relationship problems? They get married... man, these two just get dumber and dumber every issue. Also, shall I just point out that this is 1997, she's a ghost, and she's, at the oldest, 15, which I believe is illegal in the United States. Except in Hawaii and Kansas. So can we just accept that they're not legally married and this whole thing is stupid?

·         Phase heads to Earth to get the touchstone from Tiffany Cross and when Tinya touches it, she becomes material for a moment. We're headed for an end of this long-time mystery as well... I really don't trust the creative team to not screw this up too.

LSH #97

This issue is the official "Genesis" crossover, which was such an unimportant event in 1997 that on Wikipedia, the plot is explained (badly) in only two short paragraphs. And it honestly doesn't help. So let's see the fall out from everything that happened last issue.

The Legionnaires end up on some far away asteroid, fighting Mantis (no, not the Mantis that's a former Avenger and star of some insanely politically incorrect stories in the 70's) and a lot of para-demons. Metron shows up, wanting to get information out of Saturn Girl's mind and Brainiac 5 wants one of Metron's Mother Boxes. There's a fight, and a deal, and Gates ends up figuring out how to defeat Mantis. Brainy gets the Box and we fly away for another adventure.

It's your standard crossover issue where not much happens and any new readers will get a sense of who everyone is. I doubt this issue would inspire anyone to start reading the Legion, but I honestly think the creative team has kinda given up by this point. Which is unfortunate, because this book's sales spiked because of the Genesis crossover and they could've tried to keep more readers with a good book.

There are a few interesting bits to focus on this issue:

·         Spark's powers have changed and now she can make anything weightless. So we finally get the shift to Light Lass, or Gossamer, or whatever they're going to call her. This is a power change that really wasn't necessary in this version, but I can't say I'm not happy to see her embrace far more interesting powers. I view Light Lass the same way as I view Star Boy - when they actually think about the intelligent ways to use their powers, they're stunningly effective.

·         Ultra Boy and Apparition are married and no one seems to care... and they're still pretending to kiss in the middle of battle.

·         Spark shows up to grab her touchstone from Tiffany Cross and ends up disappearing in a flash. Much to the surprise of the plant alien, Taptree, that accompanied her... To describe this scene as badly-drawn would be an insult to such horrible artists as Rob Liefeld. I don't think words can express how happy I am that Lee Moder's got 3 issues to go.

·         Continuing with my irritation at Cosmic Boy's reaction to being mind-controlled, this issue shows that he's not reacting at all, much to Imra's surprise. What makes even less sense if how the rest of the team is responding. At the least, Gates and Spark should be livid with Imra and not trust her in the slightest. I would imagine Triad and Shvaughn feel the same way.

LSH #98

This issue is called "C.O.M.P.U.T.O. the Conqueror". Are they going to reboot a classic Legion villain now? Does anyone think this is a good idea at this point?

Brainiac 5, now in possession of a Mother Box, wants to connect it to Veridian's Responsometer so the new, improved computer can figure out a way for the Legion to get back home. For those who don't remember, Veridian is a member of the Metal Men. Once the connection is made, the new version of Veridian is, to put it nicely, Brainiac 5 ramped up to a thousand. So much smarter and much nastier.

That's the main story. The second one is to finally answer one question: Who is Phase? Ultra Boy and Apparition are heading to Hawaii to have a honeymoon when they're interrupted by Tiffany Cross and Taptree, who need help since Phase disappeared into Tiffany's touchstone. They arrive, Taptree is stunned at how much Phase looks like Tinya (we're just completely ignoring the age difference, of course) and then suddenly both Tiffany's touchstone and Apparition herself are sucked into Tinya's own touchstone.

We get our first sign of stress between Imra and the rest of the team as they're talking to Spark about her new powers. She hates them and when Saturn Girl offers to see if her lightning is blocked off mentally, Ayla's response is a very strong no.

C.O.M.P.U.T.O. = Cybercerebral Overlapping Multi-Processor, Universal Transceiver-Operator... how long do you think it took the creative team to figure out that acronym?

In the touchstone, Tinya and Phase come face-to-face and they start mirroring each other, saying the exact same thing. The shocking last sentence: "I'm -- Tinya Wazzo!"

Computo figures out how to open a time portal for Brainy and, when Iron says that it's time to disconnect the Mother Box from the Responsometer, Computo gets a little... testy. He takes over every piece of electronics (computers, flight rings, space ships, etc.) which results in the Legionnaires collapsing in pain and Ultra Boy's ship crashing into the mountains. Computo then pulls the Metal Men apart and is ready for battle.

Brainy does not want to fight Computo, thinking it's better to protect it, so Saturn Girl knocks him out with a mind blast. Yep, keep being trustworthy there.

Computo then attacks, knocking out everyone except Spark and takes over one of Triad's bodies. She challenges Spark to attack and destroy her friend. So if this the reason why they brought Triad back to the 20th Century? Just to kill one of her bodies?

I will give credit here - the final page is an epically good image and one that should strike fear into the readers. Sometimes this creative team hits a home run.

Legionnaires #53

And now we move to the better book...

Let's talk about the newest Legionnaire, Monstress, for a bit. This issue features her first day as a Legionnaire and her adjustments to her new environs. First of all, I really like that they've given her so different of a personality from the rest of the team that she immediately stands out. I don't know if I would've made her sound like a grandmother, but it does make her completely unique from everyone else. She's perpetually happy, fashion and style-conscious, and friendly to everyone. When so many characters in these books seem to be mired and drowning in angst, it's nice to have a change.

I've talked before about how much I like "alien" characters appearing in the Legion and Monstress definitely fits the bill. I was worried she was going to basically be a teenage She-Hulk but they've already made her so different that I'm looking forward to how they use her. She's already giving off "den mother" vibes, but I hope that's not the only thing she has going for her.

And by the way, I loved the moment between her and a molting Sensor, talking about skin care and how lucky Sensor is. It's these bonding moments that really make the Legion what it is.

Chapter Two focuses on Lori Morning, who somehow got her hands on a Dial H for Hero device and is now fighting crime around Metropolis. Of course, they haven't explained how she got it, but they will one day...

Does anyone here remember any of the old Dial H for Hero comics? They did appear in a promotional section of a very old Legion comic in the 80's, and then in Adventure Comics... sorry, not going all the way back to their first appearances. For those who don't know, the original concept was this: by turning what looked like a phone dial (and how many people reading remember those?) the stars of the book would turn into brand-new superheroes. And these heroes had been created by the fans, who sent in their sketches in the hope of seeing their creations in a DC comic. I have no idea how any of that got past legal, especially if the characters were created by readers who were children at the time, but that's what they did.

Lori first turns into someone called Fireball, fights against some Sklarians, gets knocked out, and then turns into a new hero called Slipstream (who's the one from the poster in Legionnaires 50). She defeats the thieves and heads back to Legion HQ.

On an aside, as much as I love the poster that came in issue #50, I'd probably be slightly annoyed every single time I looked at it and realized that one of the "Legionnaires" wasn't one and only appeared on a few pages. I mean, why include them?

I just don't get why they're doing this with Lori. We already know writer Roger Stern was not happy the Legion has so many characters and he needed his wife's help to keep track of all the subplots. Lori hasn't worked as a character since they introduced her and I honestly don't think anyone wants to see her anymore. So why spend so much time with her? Anyone out there disagree and are happy she's got superpowers now?

The final chapter is Magno's return to Braal to get treatment for his loss of powers. Whereas Monstress' story is one of hope and strengthening the bonds of her new family, Magno's is one of loss and straining at the family problems he has. No one can figure out why he's lost his powers so he's stuck home with a horrible older brother and a younger sister who's working through her own disappointment at losing her connection to the Legion.

It's a great look at Dyrk (why did they give a second character the same first name?) and really delves into his personality. I really wish they had done this for him when he was a Legionnaire. It's a shame that we don't learn anything about him until he's off the team.

My only complaint is the all-too-convenient moment where we realize that Magno's family lives in the same building as Cosmic Boy's. We get a little moment between Dyrk and Pol and it's just too forced. I mean, on a planet of millions of people, they run into each other?

Legionnaires #54

Can I just start by saying how awesome this cover is? Love the different costumes, love the coffee stain at the top, love everything about it.

Just when you think things make sense in the Legion-verse, issues like this come along that just break your brain a little bit and you wonder what the heck editorial and the creative teams are thinking.

In this issue, the Legion exist during World War II and are fighting against alternate versions of Roxxas, Dr. Regulus, and Tangleweb. They have to stop an atomic bomb from exploding over New York City and end up sacrificing themselves to save everyone.

It's much like that previous LSH issue where they're back in 1958 and dealing with the communist threat. Only whereas that issue only starred the characters from that book, this one has half its members from Legion and half from Legionnaires. And, unless I've missed something dramatic, these teams haven't reunited yet. So what are Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, etc. doing in this book?

The big reveal at the end, which is even harder to wrap your head around, is when the characters who are in this adventure suddenly appear in the timestream, confused about whether they're traveling through time or something else is happening. Brainiac 5 posits that this is probably a test, where someone is moving them through time, putting them in different situations in the past and seeing how different Legionnaires respond.

Which I would be fine with if any of this matched what happened before. First, Cosmic Boy should not be aware that this happened before because he was in a coma. Second, when they got out of the 1958 adventure, there was no timestream and no blips, so they're not even trying to match anything. As I said before, they never tried to explain how the team got out of the 50's. Third, wouldn't there be a moment where Invisible Kid and Cham say something like, "How's the 20th Century? What's happening? What can we do to help?" or anything to show that these groups aren't actually together right now?

Not a surprise, but this is another issue written by Tom Peyer, who really has just stopped trying with these books. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. I'm sure he's trying his best, but he and Tom McCraw are really losing their way at this point.

If I have one positive to say about this book, it's that it looks amazing. Jeff Moy does a great job drawing the 1940's and I love the styles and costumes he's created.

Legionnaires #55

Another great cover - I really liked this month where DC had every issue do a portrait cover. Cham's a great choice, too.

This issue features the exciting return of the Composite Man, the Durlan who can adopt any super power he comes in contact with (and not just the appearance of the being) and has a serious hatred for Chameleon. And by exciting, I mean that they defeat him fairly easily because the team actually works together and Element Lad spends some time observing and thinking about the villain's flaws.

Here are some of the things that stood out this issue:

·         Element Lad's powers keep evolving so he's changing his body structure while also creating new and different compounds. He's still spacey and seems most likely to float off into the atmosphere, but he showed some leadership and decision-making skills as well. It's good to see him show off a different side of himself.

·         Violet is still taking on a leadership role, giving orders when the others seems content to stand back and watch. I'm glad to see that they're not reverting her to how she was before the Eye entered her life.

·         And we finally get the explanation of why Kinetix's hair floats. It's just natural. Such a bizarre side effect of her powers, although I think it would make more sense if she was just constantly making herself look better with her powers. Why not be just a little vain?

·         We continue with the Sensor/Cham relationship and if they don't pay this off romantically, then I just wonder what the heck they're doing here. Cham and Jeka are obviously bonding over so many things and since both are so important to their home planets, there's so much more at play here.

·         This is the first appearance of the new Legion Outpost in space, as Chuck Taine, Cham, and Sensor check it out and see if it'll be good for the team. I'm all in favor of putting the Legion in space more often, so this is great.

·         File this under the "I'm an Idiot" department - I finally recognized the joke of "Charles Foster Taine." Rosebud...

·         We get yet another appearance of Lori the superhero as, this time, she becomes two different heroes and helps the Legion fight the Composite Man. I'm going to ignore the "why would the Legion be okay with these random heroes just popping up?" and just focus on the "am I the only one who feels like this is just a desperate way to make Lori even a little bit interesting?" Again, with so many characters, why waste pages on her? I mean, they didn't even bother to explain how she got the dial... sorry, I know I've spent way too much time this week ranting about Lori, but considering actual Legionnaires are getting pushed to the sidelines, I feel this was a horrible direction.

Our next Legionnaire in the spotlight... Brainiac 5!!

I know it's a bad pic, but I do love any Chris Sprouse Legion artwork

I've already made a ton of comments about Brainiac 5, and had a lot of discussions on these pages about him, so let's just dive right back in. I may end up repeating myself, but such is life.

·         When I first started reading the Legion, back in the early 80's, Brainiac 5 really stood out as a character who was interesting on so many levels. He had a crush on Supergirl, which any young male comic reader of the 70's and 80's could understand. He went crazy, which just made him so different from the others. We was the single smartest character in the DC universe. His coloring burst off the page and made him stand out, especially when most of the men in the Legion kinda just looked the same. So to me, he was one of the better characters to follow.

·         Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think he might've been the most important member of the Legion. He was always front and center in everything, he destroyed multiple headquarters, he solved most of the big problems, he was the main protagonist in multiple storylines, and he was the best deliverer of exposition.

·         He was also a great teammate and tried to be a great friend. Although he was socially awkward and tended to bury himself in his work, he could connect with the Legionnaires and worked well with them.

·         I also love the choice for him to be so out-of-control of his emotions. When I think of how he reacted when Supergirl died or how obsessed he was when he was trying to figure out who Sensor Girl was, it shows that, for all his intelligence, he wasn't emotionally smart.

·         With every reboot, it just seems like the only character traits they have are "intelligent" and "prick". They're not going any deeper than that and there's not a lot of growth here. With the current issues we're reading, Brainy in the 20th Century is basically a villain. The writers aren't trying very hard to make him well-rounded or even interesting.

·         The only things I have liked in the reboots are the way they're writing his childhood. I like his mother being a villain. I like that he was raised by robots as all the Coluans feared him. I like that he had such a traumatic backstory. Unfortunately, they don't go anywhere with it and they're not using this to push the character forward.

·         I'm not a huge fan of the dots on his face, but can't quibble too much as they tried to make him look more alien. I do like it much better than when they shaved his head.

·         Also, I hated the Brainiac 5.1 update. Really? Why would Brainiac ever call himself that? I just thought it was a way to make him feel more inhuman and separate from the team, which I don't like. His growth should always be someone trying to connect with the team over time, not pull further away.

·         Did you know that "Brainiac 5" is the name of a British rock band that started in the 70's? Check this out!

Ok, that's it for this week. Like I said at the beginning, please post your thoughts and opinions and I'll try my best to make some comments during the week.

Also, I'm hoping to only be a day or two late next week, so fingers crossed. I may also try to read the Inferno mini-series, if I'm feeling particularly masochistic.

Thanks for reading!