Legionnaires #1 - 8 - If you thought Lightning Lad and Sun Boy were jerks before, just you wait...
Much like last week, these are books that I remember reading back in the early 90's, buying them when they came out, but I don't have any real strong memories of them at all. So I kinda remember liking the Chris Sprouse artwork. And I kinda remember that monster in the sewers. But not much else. To be honest, I don't think I lasted much past issue #8, dropping this book fairly quickly. So if you loved this title, this may not be the most fun read for you. Just fair warning.
Before I get into some of the individual issues, I wanted to mention a few things that I found really confusing about the series in general.
I went into these books with the assumption that these characters are the SW6 Legionnaires, with all their memories from their adventures from the Silver Age. They should already be a fairly solid team, with a good understanding of their powers and how to work with each other. Those characters were honest, trustworthy, decent superheroes, right?
So why are they written as such horrible people? Did coming back to New Earth corrupt them so badly that they became jerks? Did they forget everything that made them who they were in the old comics? Did the Dominators re-program them while they were in their pods?
There was one moment that kinda threw me. In issue one, they convince a member of the gang called the "Hand" (don't tell Daredevil) to help them out and sneak them into her secret headquarters. This girl, named Mega, trusts them and helps them. Since they don't even bother to hide who they are, only wearing jackets over their uniforms, they are almost immediately caught by the leader of the gang, a returning Mano.
And at the very end of the issue, Mano murders Mega. In front of them. And they don't care in the least. And they don't show any remorse, any regrets, or talk about taking any responsibility. They literally lead a girl to her death and feel nothing about it. These are the heroes?
Also, in order to show that these kids are just dumb teenagers, they keep doing reckless, idiotic, and nasty things that destroy everything and everyone around them. Like Ferro destroying a road, in the middle of a creaky, barely functional dome, to catch the aforementioned gang members. Or Live Wire blasting Cosmic Boy to make sure he knows to stay away from Saturn Girl. Or both Live Wire and Inferno bullying a poor girl trying to join the Legion. Or staying at a resort in Atlantis and then refusing to pay, leading to the innkeeper closing everything down (luckily Violet was the one person who actually showed even the slightest amount of decency and mentioned that they should maybe pay for what they got).
Are we supposed to like these characters? After the first couple of issues, I was ready to see Live Wire and Inferno kicked off the team.
My last problem is the continued breaking away from the 5YL effects. Cham is drawn like he's maybe 5 years older than the teenagers. He looked older during the Paul Levitz run. He's also in a skintight uniform the entire time, when it was only a few issues of LSH ago when he made it clear that he, and no one else, would be wearing a superhero suit. When Mano, Persuader, and Tharok show up, they look younger than they did at almost any point during the previous Legion series. None of the costume or style choices remain, none of the tone remains, and almost none of the storylines remain. I was actually expecting them to just create a new Earth out of nothing, get out of the domes, and forget that part too. This entire book feels like a complete reboot without it being one.
Oh, and the concept of time is so fluid that nothing makes any sense. Characters can literally fly to far away planets in a second. It's sheer insanity.
On this happy note, let's get to some of the individual issues:
Legionnaires #1
Let's talk about names.
I understand the argument for tossing out all the old, dated Legionnaire names and giving everyone something more fresh and current. I also understand that argument for keeping the old names and respecting the history.
What I don't understand is choosing both.
Some of the new names I actually think work. Live Wire. Andromeda. Ferro.
Some of them I think really missed. Alchemist. Gossamer. Computo (why would you name yourself after a killer robot? Especially one that possessed you and killed one of your teammates).
But to rename some of them, but keep Saturn Girl, Cosmic Boy, and Matter-Eater Lad, just doesn't make any sense to me. Either go one way or the other. But to do both just doesn't work.
I really like that they added a roll call with pictures at the beginning of every issue. Those little portraits, with names and powers, is a great idea and I'm glad to see they introduced this. I always liked the roll calls in the past, even when it was just the names (or when it was wrong), especially for a team book with this many characters.
I also really like that they added two new members to the team who aren't former Legionnaires. Catspaw and Dragonmage have interesting power sets, even if their characterization right now is kinda lacking. The former wants to date every male character and the latter does nothing. Hopefully that improves.
I also really like the art on this issue and for most of this run. Chris Sprouse is still figuring everything out, and he struggles with any older character, but he brings a lot of energy to the book. Sometimes the eyes get a little too big (what's up with Cosmic Boy's?), but that's a stylistic, almost manga-ish, choice that I don't mind. It makes them look young, so I'm onboard. Sprouse is no where close to what he'll become (loved his work on Tom Strong), but you can see his development with each issue and I'm a big fan.
They name Cosmic Boy the leader, which makes sense because he led the team many times in the past, but yet they all kinda act like this is his first time in the position. Computo is the deputy leader and Cham is just an advisor... until he wants to join missions...
One of my main problems with this book shows right from the beginning. The writers, Tom and Mary Bierbaum, are trying to write teenagers and create interpersonal conflicts from the first page and they hit as often as they miss. The slang seems weird and, from a modern perspective, degrading sometimes. For example, almost all the male characters refer to every woman as "babe". The rivalry between Live Wire and Cosmic Boy, which is punctuated this issue by Garth almost zapping Rokk, just doesn't make sense. Even in the 60's, these characters were always written as best friends. Why the distrust? You could have picked Inferno or M-E Lad as the one spending too much time with Saturn Girl and it would make more sense and you could sympathize with Garth. Instead, he's just a short-tempered jerk.
I always love when covers can be combined into one big picture
These five issues tell the story of the reformation of the Fatal Five, but there's something that happened in #2 that I wanted to talk about first.
I always knew that Dirk Morgna was a jerk. Actually, I didn't always know that. I just considered him a Legionnaire who liked to date a lot and was unapologetic about it. Yes, he went through partners like socks, but more than a few heroes have had... interesting... dating lives without everyone just assuming they were horrible people. I mean, Daredevil's dating past is checkered, at best, but no one wants to see him tortured for it.
This book, however, puts that argument to rest. Dirk Morgna, now Inferno, is a jerk. A misogynistic jerk who has no problem bullying girls who don't fit into his view of what is attractive. And Live Wire isn't much better.
Let me set the stage for you: with so many super-powered teenagers on New Earth (I have no idea how this is even possible. Were they all the victims of the Dominator experiments? Are super powers just that common in the 30th Century? Are they all delusional people who believe they deserve to be Legionnaires because they can do a handstand? Too many questions...), the Legionnaires decide to hold tryouts.
First up is a girl named X-Bomb Betty. Live Wire and Inferno start drooling, right in front of Saturn Girl, but when they find out she can only use her power once and it's a 150 million megaton explosion, they have to reject her. For the next applicant, Live Wire calls out, and I quote, "the girl with the big--", but Cosmic Boy calls out the girl they ignored at first.
Cera Kesh comes up and explains that her power is that she can make things float. She's shy and nervous and unsure of her powers. But she makes Live Wire float up in the air before his yelling distracts her and she drops him. She apologizes and gets these responses:
- Live Wire: "You stupid cow!"
- Inferno: "If your telekinesis doesn't work, you can always sit on your opponents!... It's not my fault she's a porker!... I'm busy. Why don't you go play connect the dots on your face."
So by the text, you'd think that Cera is staggering ugly and obese. Nope. She's just a regular looking teenage girl who's not even close to overweight.
Does anyone correct Inferno? Does anyone challenge either of them? Nope. There are no repercussions for him at all.
Even worse, they reveal that she used to have a crush on him. Which is when the Emerald Eye of Ekron flies into the picture.
I think you've failed as a writer when your audience is more sympathetic to the person you know is going to become a murderous villain than a super-hero who's one of the stars of the book.
There are so many ways you could have done this story without ensuring the readers want the villain to win. A misunderstanding. A date gone wrong. Writing her as more of a villain right from the beginning.
But not here. We have to make sure you know that Inferno is an ass. Again, why even write this book if you hate these characters so much?
To cover the rest of the Fatal Five story, here are some moments that really stood out:
- According to the Legion Clubhouse podcast, the introduction of Mordecai (the monster in the sewer) was the Bierbaums' attempt to rewrite one of the worst Legion stories of all time, Superboy and the Legion #248. There are so many jokes here that I'll just move on.
- When Gossamer gets captured by Mordecai, she's put in a cage with the key just out of reach. Both look like they were built sometime in the 19th Century. Amazing that these things are still in use in the 30th Century. You would think the writers could embrace some sci-fi elements, wouldn't you?
- They reveal that Mordecai is a genetically modified monster from the same past that poisoned the Earth and led it to explode, he somehow survived underground all this time, and fled to a dome to be saved. How deep are these domes? If he could get inside from underneath, how structurally sound are they? Were there more monsters underneath the Earth? Why didn't they die when the Dominator chambers blew up? Do they even care if their choices make no sense?
- Leland McCauley is revealed to be the main instigator of the reformation of the Fatal Five. He gets the Persuader out of Takron-Galtos II. He finances Mano's gang. He gabs Mordecai from the sewers. He finds an Emerald Eye and gives it to his girlfriend. And his scientists discover Tharok somewhere in some alternate dimension and reprogram his computer side. I guess he was done with Universo and the subliminal messages in his Omnicoms. Or he's doing everything to become... richer?? Is that his only goal here??
- We haven't seen Tharok since Legion #270 when he was also the Dark Man, they touched, and then blew up. I'm all in favor of bringing back classic Legion villains, and I was never a fan of the way they got rid of him in the first place, so even though they completely brush over how they got him back, I'm happy to see the Fatal Five again.
- To blow off steam, Live Wire and Inferno ask Ultra Boy to take them somewhere dangerous, because they know Jo only hangs out in dangerous, seedy establishments. Yep, while the domes were coming together, people were struggling to live, and the Legionnaires were busy trying to help everyone, Jo had time to go off and find the worst places on New Earth to hang out. So where does he take them? What looks like a biker pool hall. And who's there waiting for them? Cera, who has become the Emerald Empress. Not sure why teenagers are getting into bars, but I guess the rules are different in the future.
- Post battle with the Emerald Empress, Saturn Girl, even after seeing Garth be a jerk, swears that she loves him. Why? He's been nasty to Cera, to Andromeda, to Invisible Kid, and she still loves him. This just makes her look bad - is there no way they could make Garth look slightly sympathetic so the audience would understand why she's with him? At this point, we all just want her with Cosmic Boy. Is that the goal?
- I do like the idea of McCauley being the future's Howard Hughes, desperately afraid of germs and hiding away on his own planet.
- The Fatal Five attack and we see that McCauley's Emerald Empress is not very confident and doesn't want to fight anyone. So she flees back to McCauley's planet for safety. Cera shows up and kills her, wanting to be in control of both Eyes. Were there ever two Eyes in the past or is this completely new for this series?
- In one of the craziest "we don't understand how time works" moments I've seen in comics, we get this: At Legion HQ, they somehow track the Empress to McCauley's planet. So they send Gossamer, Dragonmage, and Triad to investigate (not the team I'd choose, but whatever). The trio get changed, get into their Legion spaceship, fly to the planet, and arrive during the battle. Even if you argue that the planet is super-close to New Earth, it's just impossible for them to do everything in such a short time.
- Is Matter-Eater Lad invulnerable to force or energy? At one point, he gets in front of the Persuader, biting the axe in half as the villain swings it towards Violet. Is his jaw as strong as Superman's? Is M-E Lad secretly the most powerful Legionnaire? Also, if he had miscalculated at all, because he bit the axe right under the blade, would the blade have been able to cut his mouth at all? Could he have just bitten the axe that can cut through everything? I never thought I'd say this, but have they overpowered M-E Lad?
- By the end of the issue, the Fatal Five is together, McCauley is left defeated and burnt, and the Legionnaires don't do anything to track the villains down. Are they stuck on New Earth?
This was mixed bag as far as stories go. Some of it was good. Some of it wasn't. But it did accomplish the return of the Fatal Five and, although I don't think they intended this, the creation of an interesting and sympathetic Emerald Empress.
Legionnaires #7
In April 1993, these were the sales rankings for the Legion books:
Legionnaires #3 was at #115.
Legion of Super-Heroes #44 was at #166.
DC books are getting their butts kicked by companies such as Image, Valiant, Topps, and Dark Horse.
So what do you do to get more readers to your title? You get Adam Hughes to draw one of them.
And how do you utilize Mr. Hughes' talents to bring in as many readers as you can? You put the team in the Atlantis dome and have them wear skimpy bathing suits for the entire issue.
Forget about whether this book is well-written or not (it isn't) and forget about whether the artwork is good or not (it is), I have a rather big problem with sexualizing teenage characters to sell comic books. The Legionnaires are all in their mid-teens, correct? Probably 14 - 16? Between this issue, and the next, where we see Ayla show up in a bathing suit that can best be described as illegal, it just ends up looking creepy and problematic.
I can already hear the counterpoint: these are bathing suits and they're perfectly acceptable to wear. It's my problem for sexualizing these images when the characters aren't being sexual. To me, that's the same argument that was used to say that Baywatch was a show about lifeguards. Perhaps the characters weren't trying to be sexual, but the writers and producers definitely were.
Thoughts?
Look, this is a pretty issue to look at, regardless of the costuming. Adam Hughes makes every page look gorgeous and I love the way he drew the "villains", the Devil-Fish. Bringing back an old Dave Cockrum-designed character from way back in the early 70's was a nice touch.
And yes, the entire concept of an Atlantis dome makes zero sense if you think about it for even five seconds. Why would they built the dome? When did Atlantis become so connected to the rest of the Earth that they were part of this project? How do they keep the entire ocean ecosystem working in a dome? Yeah, but swimsuits...
And, once again, the characters are written as vain idiots who couldn't care less about anyone around them. I think the writers just wanted to show that Violet cared about everyone, and sacrificed the rest of the team to achieve that.
I don't want to talk about issue #8. It's yet another book that's in the running for worst Legion book ever. Bad art, bad story, just ugh...
I'm actually tempted to start a thread here and we can vote on the worst single issue or multi-issue storyline in Legion history. Anyone interested in that?
Okay, we've reached the end of the first eight issues of Legionnaires. It is better than the regular Legion title, but not by much. It should come as no surprise to anyone that we're less than a year away from the Zero Hour reboot.
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