Let's look at Legion Worlds #5 & 6 and discover which Legionnaires the writers hate

We've reached the end of this series and, if it's achieved it's goals, we should be really, really excited about the new Legion series... I'll let you know what I think about that at the end of this column.

Legion Worlds #5 

This issue we head to Steeple, a planet I've never heard of before, so I really don't know what to expect. Our writers, as always, are Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (DnA) and the art this issue is from Steve Dillon on pencils and Klaus Janson and John Stanisci on inks. More big name artistic talent on the series, so that's a plus.

Before we begin, let's talk about the Dillon-sized elephant in the room. After spending more than a few minutes on r/comicbooks, I was very, very surprised to see all the Steve Dillon hate throughout. It appears that most people can't stand his art style, especially his facial shapes and distinctive looks. And yet, his name is attached to some of the most important comics of the past 35 years - Hellblazer, Preacher, and the Punisher. I would say that he's been Garth Ennis' best collaborator for most of his career and seems most comfortable drawing gritty, street-level characters who are often drunk. I'd always say that he draws very, very good facial expressions and you always know what his characters are thinking. He also, sadly, passed away in 2016.

I'm a fan. But I will respectfully say this - I would have never, ever chosen Dillon to draw a sci-fi book. Let's see how this goes.

Steeple is a planet that is well-known for being a spiritual retreat, a planet to go to to find your emotional center. Val Armorr has been living here for six months - he was lost, adrift after the Legion ended, and now he's been enjoying himself and focusing on the rising and advancing of his spirit.

He's also faced with a tough choice. He will either go home or stay on Steeple to keep studying with the Halpashar. Why is this a tough choice? Steeple is about to undergo something called "The Bleakness." Once that happens, no one can get on or off the planet for ten years.

Wow - I'm guessing DnA really don't want to have Karate Kid on the team.

And not just Val - Ferro is here too. So they're gonna get rid of him, too.

Andrew Nolan, or Andy, came with Val to the planet and he's just as happy as Karate Kid. He finally feels at home, living in this monastery-like place because he can finally be himself. He can finally take off his mask and let everyone see the real him. We don't get to, of course, because even the artist who brought Arseface to life can't show us how horrible Andy looks.

Val comes back from his time with Sorcis, his Pashassi-master, and discovers that the planet has been attacked and other beings have been killed. Andy has been beaten to unconsciousness, after turning into iron, with (I think) blood all around him.

The killer? Nadir, a big, ugly alien who speaks in one-syllable words. He and Val fight and he quickly knocks the former Legionnaire out. By the time Val wakes, Nadir is gone, having stolen food. Val wants to catch him and protect others, but Sorcis says that violence and retribution are not their ways.

Before he rushes off to face Nadir again, Val checks in on Andy, who's basically in an iron coma. He can't change back - his injuries are too great. The monks of Steeple are chanting over him to keep him in a protective field until he recovers. Which could take years. Yeah, they really want nothing to do with Ferro, do they?

Val gets to the launch site, where Nadir is already killing people. They fight again and, after waaaaay too long, Karate Kid defeats him and proudly announces that he's a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes. We all think that Val's going to get onto the shuttle but he doesn't. He can't leave Andy behind.

Okay... geez... that was... rough... Not much happened, it could've been told in 12 pages instead of 30, and if you were anxious to see what happened to Ferro, you'd be beyond disappointed. Just a horrible story that really only served to get Karate Kid and Ferro off the team. And pages and pages of bad art that didn't work at all - I don't think Dillon was told these are teenagers and he just wasn't comfortable drawing aliens. This book was not in his wheelhouse. I don't think anything worked here.

For the second story, we have artist Jamie Tolagson introducing us to the Presidential Oversight Watch. M'onel leads the team to stop a bunch of criminals who work for someone named Cortex. Repulse, the Braalian "hero" who controls him metallic suit, and Twine, an Rimborian with a big whip, break into a ship and start attacking a bunch of blue aliens. They quickly realize the ship they're on is a decoy, so they tell the rest of the group to head planet side.

The planet? Warworld. Where Cortex leads two of his lieutenants, Pollen and Bronto, towards the control panel. They want to use this to take over the galaxy. Or something like that.

They are met by Abyss, someone who has a ring that creates voids, and Brainstorm, a telekinetic man who floats above them in a shiny bubble. They battle Pollen and Bronto while Cortex escapes...

and is met by Mr. Venge. No, no need to draw this possible surprise subplot out, huh? Venge kills Cortex just before M'onel gets onboard. Really? They couldn't have let this slide by for even a few issues? Make him appear to be a simple assistant to McCauley? Maybe make him slightly trustworthy before having him turn?

Anyway, that was a great collection of forgettable characters that we all know will end up fighting the Legion. I'm hoping against hope that Twine will reveal herself to be the Empress, or they'll do something interesting with this subplot, but this story isn't it.

I didn't mind Tolagson's artwork here - nothing spectacular but the story moved forward. You can tell he's read a few too many Kelley Jones books and I wonder if his style would be better in Batman.

Legion Worlds #6 

To Rimbor we go (surprise, surprise) and, judging by the covers, we get to see what Apparition has been up to and, more importantly, it looks like Timber Wolf is back.

On a complete aside about the covers - I haven't mentioned this before, but I've been fairly impressed by the John Cassaday covers that have graced this mini-series. I'm less happy to know that these covers possibly slowed down his work on Planetary at the time, but I can't argue that DC is pulling out all the stops to try to get new readers for the Legion.

For this issue, DnA is writing and Kilian Plunkett is the artist. Plunkett is an Irish artist who you might recognize from his work on a lot of Star Wars comics and animated series. So they actually hired an artist with sci-fi credits for the final issue? Wow - things are looking up!

We begin with Tinya Wazzo, or Apparition, flying through the skies of Rimbor, clutching a wrapped package, and trying her best to avoid gang members who think shouting and stalking women is the best way to get a booty call... which is what one of them talks about. We've just thrown out any attempt at making this look like the future, haven't we?

In the chaos, Tinya phases through a flying car, drops the package (which crashes on the ground in a splatter of red liquid) and then crashes herself. The red liquid? Cherr-berr Gelato. The gang members surround her and talk about how they're going to make her their babe. Yep, we get the 31st Century's first hint at sexual assault. Darkest timeline continues...

Which is when Timber Wolf arrives. And he starts slashing through the gang members and beats them up. They reference that they're not happy a "wolf is on their turf" and start shooting. Which leads to Tinya finally getting involved and knocking one of them out. Timber Wolf's face reverts to normal and he talks about how she shouldn't have left the Q.

And then we get the gigantic reveal: Tinya's pregnant. Very, very pregnant.

To another part of Rimbor, where the three men Tinya's mom hired a few issues ago are searching for the former Legionnaire and are using a Jinx-dog, an animal from Durla that tracks anything. So they know she's been there. And they wonder why people aren't telling them where she is. It's because she's in Emerald Dragons turf, where Jo Nah used to live.

In case you wanted things to get dumber, you get your wish. The three pull off their flesh-coats and reveal they're not actually human. One's a gigantic muscle-bound, tattooed person. Another is a robot. And the third is a dominator. Forget that none of them would've fit into the flesh-coats, as they were drawn. Just focus on the cool aliens.

We move to the Q, which is Wolf Gang Turf. Timber Wolf, or Brin as they're finally calling him, and his crew are taking care of Tinya and are worried about when to take her to a Clin-Medical. Once she goes to another room, the conversation gets angrier - one of Brin's people, a guy named Rn'drr, tells him that Tinya's trouble - she's Emerald Dragon property. But Brin tells him that he owes Tinya his life and they have to protect her.

Tinya reveals more of her past to another younger member of the gang. She stayed with her mom for four months, early in the pregnancy, and couldn't handle Winema anymore. So she fled to Rimbor, wanting to find Jo's friends or family. And to disappear.

Back to the three searchers, who are back in their flesh-coats (why? and it looked like they destroyed them before) and beating up more Rimborians to find Tinya. They're talking to Winema, who's nice enough to reveal her plan - she's going to have Tinya declared incompetent and get custody of her grandchild.

Speaking of moms, Brin finds Jo's mom and Tinya goes into the dive bar she works at to see her. To the surprise of no one except Tinya, as soon as Jo's mom finds out Winema is rich, she wants to call her and betray Tinya almost immediately. I know they're sprinting through this story but, once again, it would've been nice for something to play out slowly.

Just as we learn that Braxton-Hicks is still the term used in the 31st Century, and the Legion have returned from the void, Tinya goes into labor. Which is the exact same time the three searchers, who we now know are Xoth, Swool, and Kuga, arrive at the Q to grab Tinya.

Swool, the tattooed muscleman, is also a Carggite and all three of him attack Brin. Xoth, the Dominator, gets into Tinya's room and pulls a knife - after all, Winema only wants the baby. Who cares about Tinya? In a surprising twist, the Jinx-dog hasn't just been tracking Tinya, it's also becoming Tinya, matching her DNA and metabolic rate. So, of course, it needs to save her and attacks Xoth. Both fly out the window with Xoth screaming.

Then the baby phases out of Tinya's body and floats above her. Now that's certainly an easier way to give birth. Also, no umbilical cord, either. She recovers amazingly quickly, defeats Kuga and saves Brin, and all their problems are solved.

To the spaceport they go, where Brin promises to keep protecting Tinya and the baby as they fly back to Earth. They take off, arguing about the best name for the newborn.

Let's ignore a few things we know about babies, such as:

• Gestation periods - she'd be at least three months late for a human, but who knows how long they are for a Carggite or Bgztllian?
• Tinya crashing to the ground from way, way up at the beginning would've been horrific for the baby
• How the baby phases when Tinya doesn't? Or did she phase, not drop through the bed (while in immense pain), and "pushed" the baby up?
• All the fun post-birth, such as the afterbirth... and the placenta...

I'll stop there...

This was kind of a mixed bag of an issue. I really liked the artwork and Tinya showing the strength she had before Legion Lost. It was great seeing her without Jo right beside her and, considering how blatantly obvious they made it that Brin was in love with her, I hope they do something interesting with this triangle.

But every time we go to Rimbor, it just feels like a space version of West Side Story. Writers really struggle with gangs, and violence, and they just can't actually write a story that is compelling in the slightest. It also never matches with how they write Jo - he's not a gang leader, or a vicious ex-criminal. He's the squeaky clean hero who looks like the most popular kid in school. It just never works.

I also wasn't a fan of this new Timber Wolf. I guess the idea was to take away anything that made him interesting and just make him another Ultra Boy. Do we need another ex-gang member from Rimbor in the Legion? I get the whole "my dad experimented on me and made me a super-hero" trope is kinda played out, but are you telling me there was nothing from his Silver Age character that was worth saving? As I mentioned a few weeks ago, Timber Wolf has the potential to be one of the most interesting Legionnaires, even if they just make him a Wolverine/Sabretooth doppelganger. Instead, and I'll continue with the West Side Story reference, we're getting the Jets/Sharks rivalry in the Legion. Not a way to entice new readers.

And I hated... hated the three aliens chasing after Tinya. Just bad writing for them.

The second story features Mike McKone on pencils and Marlo Alquiza on inks. I love McKone's work, and I was really excited about this, until I saw Kinetix and Sensor on the first page. Ouch...

We're back at the end of the Legion, one year ago, as the remaining team members try to figure out what to do. We learn that Tinya was already pregnant at that time, enough so that Invisible Kid noticed the physiological changes, so that puts her gestation at 13 months? 14? Man, did DnA even think about this when they were writing it?

They all mope around and we see them deciding to do what they've done over these past 6 issues. We end with a message from R.J. Brande. It's just a message of thanks and a reminder that being a Legionnaire is "a state of mind, an attitude, a belief." That's it. Wow - could've done so much more here and we're going out on "thanks and see ya"?

And that's it. Wow, what a waste of McKone's talents.

I've been trying to think about how I would've responded to this series in 2001, fresh off the Legion Lost mini-series. Would this have made me excited about reading more Legion comics? Would I, especially if I knew nothing about the Legion before, have wanted to check out a new series? Did this mini keep the momentum going or did it put the brakes on any positivity?

I said no. But, based on sales numbers, most people disagree with me.

Legion Worlds actually outsold Legion Lost and propelled The Legion to higher sales than the Legion had seen in years. So even though I was less impressed by what happened, it looks like the readers at the time were. Legion Worlds did what it was meant to do - kept readers engaged and got everyone up to speed for the new series.

Looking back with hindsight, and with my own love of rewriting past comics, I think I would've done the following:

Wait two months after the end of Legion Lost before releasing the 48-page The Legion #1. The main 18-page story, drawn by Olivier Coipel, starts with the team escaping the void and crashing on Earth. Reveal all the changes that we saw in Legion Worlds #1 and have M'onel explain just what's going on. I think it would've been incredibly dramatic to see the old Legion Outpost crash in front of the memorial statue.

Then you have 2 10-page stories, drawn by different artists, revealing more information about what's happening with other team members.

And each issue that follows has the same idea - Coipel draws 16-18 pages of main story (I want to keep him on a schedule so we don't have any fill-in artists) and 6-8 pages of backup showing the rest of the U.P. and the other Legionnaires.

The first storyline is really all about one thing - can they get the team back together when no one in the U.P., especially the President, wants them back? Of course it ends with the dramatic, new Outpost, flying through space, and a new Legion. We go on from there. Still a bunch of questions and characters we haven't seen for a while, but we keep the readers guessing and wondering what's happening next.

Again, DC needs to call me about a new Legion series.

Our next Legionnaire in the spotlight... Invisible Kid II!!!

 

Longtime readers of my column know that I first discovered the Legion in the late 70's/early 80's and I am most emotionally connected to the characters of that era. So for me, Jacques Foccart is Invisible Kid. I didn't care much about Lyle Norg, didn't care much when his "ghost" popped up and messed with Wildfire, and didn't have any great need to see Norg come back in PZH.

It didn't hurt that he joined in one of the best individual comic issues of all time (Legion Annual #1) and then his first mission as a member was in the Great Darkness Saga. He basically joined at the apex of the Legion.

It didn't hurt that he was the most "X-Meniest" of the new Legionnaires (it's no coincidence as he's the first Legionnaire created in the 80's). Think about it. He's from Africa, Cote D'Azure to be exact, just like Storm. He speaks a different language and with an accent, just like Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Rogue. He's got the same powers as a previous member of the team, just like Rachel Summers. And he's got a white stripe running through his hair, just like Rogue. His yellow costume just needed a a few black patches, like the New Mutants, and it would've been perfect.

Jacques was the audience surrogate for those early comics. Here was a regular guy who suddenly found himself with powers. He was unsure of himself, confused most of the time, trying his best to fit in, and probably should've never joined the Legion in the first place. He was just like most of the readers.

In fact, the more I think about how many candidates were turned down both before and after Jacques who had better control of their powers, I wonder if Levitz and Giffen ever thought about how they could make his membership make sense at all.

I wonder if his weaknesses, his lack of control over his powers (especially the teleportation), was a callback to the Legionnaires of the 60's. While the 70's had been about adding firepower and strength to the Legion, this was the first move back to the stealth, to the subtle powers of the Silver Age. Jacques used his brains, and his sneakiness, to solve problems. No more brute strength.

To further lend credence to this theory, he was the only post-Silver Age Legionnaire who got even a hint of respect in the 5YL stories. He was the leader the revolution, confident and dedicated. He finally got a romantic interest - Infectious Lass - which worked better than almost any other relationship in that series. He was elected President of Earth. You could argue that he and Matter-Eater Lad were the only two Legionnaires who actually made out better in Volume 4.

So, of course, when PZH happened, he was relegated back to nothingness and disappeared. That one issue he showed up in, as the sidekick to super-spy Lyle Norg, was just painful to read.

It's a shame, because in any reboot they could've merged Lyle and Jacques and created a compelling character who provides diversity to the team. Why not have Jacques Foccart as the only Invisible Kid, a super smart French speaker? Again, this is why DC won't let me write this book...

Under the "Did you know?" department - Jacques Foccart was named after a French businessman and politician who advised French presidents on African affairs? And he was still alive when Foccart debuted in the comics? I wonder if he had any idea he was been immortalized, kind of, in the pages of an American comic book.

That's it for this week. Come back next week when we get back to a regular Legion series, Olivier Coipel comes back, and we see where all of DnA's world-building is taking us. As always, please leave your comments and thoughts on these issues and Invisible Kid below.

Also, on a complete aside, I am finally dragging myself onto Discord and was wondering if there is any Legion-centric server? Any suggestions?