It's Darkseid versus Darkseid as the most convoluted Legion plot ever continues... We look at The Legion #28 & 29

 

 

The Legion #28

First of all, I wanted to say this: Last week, the majority of my readers came from these three countries: Singapore, the USA, and Hong Kong. So either everyone's using VPNs and Singapore and Hong Kong are the two best places to claim to be from... or there are far more Legion fans in Asia than I thought. If the first is true, glad to know we have some smart people protecting their computers. If the latter is true, I love the fact that the Legion has a wide fan base and it's awesome to see you here. Long Live the Legion!

Now let's get back into the story... The Servants of Darkness are sucking the Dark Matter out of the universe with the hundreds of thousands of deserted stargates. Kid Quantum is either hallucinating or flashing back in time. Superboy is in the 31st Century and Cosmic Boy is staggeringly disappointed in him. And Darkseid is coming back.

Our creative team this issue: Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (DnA) writing this, Chris Batista pencilling, and Chip Wallace on inks. I'm kinda sad that Mark Farmer appears to be gone, but Wallace did the better-looking parts of last issue, so I think we'll be okay. I hope it's not because they couldn't afford Farmer anymore.

We begin on a quiet farm. A being crashes into the ground, barely missing an older man on a tractor. From out of the crater comes a Superman-like being, clad in red, blue, and gold and claiming to be Clark Kent. We find out we're in Smallville as well. (Are there no farms anywhere else in the DCU?)

The Orion Servant of Darkness smashes into Clark and grabs him, claiming that since he's a traitor, he deserve death. Just as he's about to strike the killing blow, another hand grabs him and tells him to stop. It's Superboy to the rescue.

Oh, and we're in 31st Century Metropolis at the Smallville Heritage Site. So they're still in Kansas and it's now called Outer Metropolis. I guess Metropolis covers about one quarter of the United States?

We go to the Legion World Command Deck, where Live Wire/Element Lad has arrived to make everyone feel uncomfortable. Imra escorts him away because... actually, I don't honestly know why someone like XS would feel uncomfortable here. Or Triad. Or Gear. They all know he's Garth. They all know he looks like Jan. And they've all accepted that Jan was good, right? So what's the problem? Why not let him stand there and possibly help?

Umbra, Shikari, Cosmic Boy, and Wildfire are in Kansas, having arrived through a threshold, and Rokk's already angry Superboy flew ahead of them. Is he angry that he raced off to save the life of the person Orion was going to kill? Is he angry he's destroying property? The last time Superboy was in the 31st, it kinda made sense why they were upset at his silly behavior. But now? Rokk is really acting like a jerk here.

While the others tend to Clark Kent, Cosmic Boy uses his powers to wrap Orion's Astro Harness around him, making him unable to move. He also separates the two of them using his magnetism. Wow - we've just powered up Cosmic Boy, haven't we?

Orion disappears in a Boom Tube, Rokk is angry with Superboy, and the others have discovered that they've just saved Clark Kent.

At this point, I'd really love to see another Legionnaire remind Rokk that one, Superboy just saved Clark's life and two, he's not the team leader.

Trudy Trusoe shows up to give a ton of exposition and a nice line: "Great Luthor's Ghost!" We now have tons of time anomalies (wish Kid Quantum had mentioned them before) and the Catastrophists are vanishing by the millions (which means they should be happy, right?).

Back to the Legion - Clark talks about how he was kidnapped by three teenagers (remember Legion #25) and that he's wasn't the first one. They had kidnapped the wrong Superboy before and dumped him into D-Space (which explains how Superboy got there). Then Clark got brainwashed, got his powers jump-started, and he was the one who stole Superboy's chest symbol and that's what broke the mental control.

This gives Brainiac 5 everything he needs to know to figure out everything the bad guys are planning. He's nice enough to recap what they're up to:

• Kidnap other heroes to make the Servants of Darkness
• Drain the Dark Matter to create a Temporal Dam 10 years in the past
• All the power is to protect the current time from what's happening to the time stream

And since Clark has a Boom Tube, he can take them there. He volunteers immediately to help, which leads to yet another nasty Cosmic Boy comment to Superboy:

"Stick around 'Superboy.' You could pick up a few pointers."

Seriously? What has Superboy done that's so bad? It's like we're all just supposed to know that he's an idiot but yet DnA have done nothing to show it. Or have we just decided to assassinate Rokk's personality and turn him into a jerk?

Continuing with Cosmic Boy, he sees Kid Quantum, who stands down as leader as her powers are fluctuating because of the temporal problems. She asks him to take over, no surprise, but then Rokk makes the decision to also bench Superboy. Again, I have to ask, what did he do to be treated this way?

Superboy wanders off and has a chat with Live Wire, wondering whether they just have the wrong faces... or something...

What's worst about this is that I have this sinking suspicion that they're only sidelining Superboy so he can save the day later. And if that's the case, this is just dumb.

To Apokolips we go and the Legion arrives in almost full force. The first thing they spot is all the Catastrophists committing suicide. Wow... that's a much darker turn than this book needed. As the millions of people die, they reignite the fires of Apokolips and machinery comes to life everywhere. No idea how the Legion knows that this is what happening, but why let any logic get in the way of an exciting story.

As they face off against the para-demons, the husk of Darkseid comes alive, opens a Boom Tube and summons... Darkseid from the past. Okay, did not see that coming. Most definitely to be continued.

I thought DnA's body count was high before. This is crazy...

Before I get into the next issue, I just want to recap the insanely convoluted plan the villains have come up with here. Again, please let me know where I've gotten this wrong.

There are some "people" left on Apokolips in the 31st Century who want to bring Darkseid back to life so he can control the universe. They use Boom Tubes to travel back in time (which I didn't know they could do) to grab superheroes, bring them back to the 31st, and corrupt them and make them evil. They've grabbed Superman, Orion, Barda, a Green Lantern, Hawkgirl (or woman), Firestorm, Lobo, and some weird alien with a mouth where his stomach should be. They also grabbed Superboy but realized he was the wrong one, so they just dumped him in D-Space since they didn't need him.

There's also using the hundred of thousands of stargates shut down after the Blight to suck the Dark Matter out of the known universe, drastically reducing its size. They're using the Dark Matter to generate a massive Boom Tube to act as a Temporal Dam to prevent what something from 10 years in the past from wrecking the present.

In order to recharge Apokolips and bring Darkseid back to life, they start transporting millions of Catastrophists to their planet (I'm guessing through Boom Tubes that no one noticed) and get them to all commit suicide.

So let's ignore the fact that there's no way three regular people from Apokolips could get, say, Lobo to come through a mystery Boom Tube. And, by taking them from the past, they're doing an insane amount of damage to the time stream and the future. And there's no way no one aside from Brainiac 5 would notice the universe is only 3/4s it's original size. And there's no way no one would notice Boom Tubes appearing all over the galaxy. And there's no way they could convince millions of people to commit suicide.

This might be the dumbest villain plan ever. I've joked before that this is the Independence Day Legion and this story proves it. Everything looks good. We've got exciting fights. We've got a great villain squared. But if you spend even 10 seconds thinking about it, it all falls apart.

The Legion #29

We begin in 8th Century A.D., when Darkseid is pulled away from his home through time. This action causes a cataclysmic temporal shockwave that destroys everything - every piece of time - moving both forward and back. Really? Pulling Darkseid out of his time destroys the universe? So what happens if he's killed?

We see the Demon, the Amazons, and Jonah Hex being erased as this shockwave moves towards the 31st Century.

The only heroes left on Legion World, Kid Quantum, Superboy, and Violet, are watching as time is destroyed. According to Chuck, who's watching this through their time sensors, they've got about 43 minutes until they're gone.

Too bad no one thought that this was probably what the time dam was created for.

Anyway, we go to Apokolips, where old Darkseid is talking to young Darkseid. The older version explains how he's planned all of this so he can rule the universe again. The only catch is that he wants to do it from his younger body, not the old and decayed one he's been living in.

So his whole plan was to destroy everything and rely on the generosity of himself?

Back to Legion World, where Violet is ready to give up and Superboy wants to do something, even though no one thinks he's "Legion ready."

We then watch Enemy Ace, the Golden Age Flash, and Sgt. Rock disappear to the time shockwave.

To the surprise of no one, young Darkseid doesn't want to just surrender his body to the older version. He blasts him and then commands the Legion to help him - if they want to save their universe, they must help him defeat old Darkseid.

Next, Bruce Wayne (and the Wayne family), the Silver Age Flash and the Anti-Monitor, and the New Team Titans all blip away.

Someone tells Kid Quantum that maybe her powers are actually working properly, they're just responding to the time chaos around her. We all have a shot of your favorite alcoholic beverage because Violet has, once again, grown larger for absolutely no reason at all. The three decide that they need to go back in time before the collapse and stop it from happening. Live Wire walks in, tells them he can encase them in Tromium to protect them during their voyage. But before anyone can answers, he leaves, moping, saying that no one likes him anymore. I guess Garth also has all of Jan's knowledge?

Is Tromium the new Inertron?

Jazmin calls him Garth, he feels better about himself, and we have a plan. Glad to know we've made it abundantly clear that Kid Quantum is potentially the most powerful Legionnaire there is so we know they've got a chance.

The battle on Apokolips continues and we get some really awkward dialogue as the Legion is fighting against everyone. Well, everyone except the Darkseids, who are battling each other. Orion blasts young Darkseid, who grabs his "son," surprised that the elder version kept him alive. He mentions the prophecies (you know, that Orion will kill Darkseid) and then uses Orion's Astro Harness (which was amazingly repaired since last issue) to blast old Darkseid. Killing him.

Yep, so in real DC continuity, Darkseid lives until the 31st Century when he's killed by himself.

Now I'm not going to ask how young Darkseid would recognize Orion as his son as, you know, he hasn't been born yet. But we get to where we needed to go - young Darkseid, of course, betrays the Legion and orders their death.

He then starts bragging about how he's going to take over the future and rule everything.

You would think that would be the final page of the book but no! We have the four remaining Legionnaires flying through time, encased in Tromium, and Superboy gets to shout out: "Let's go Legion!"

Still the dumbest plan ever. I have no idea how, after you've destroyed all of time and space, anything would be left over to rule, but I'm not Darkseid. Or DnA.

To be honest, I'm really curious to see if DnA can pull this one out and make any sense of the chaos.

Our next Legionnaire in the spotlight... Lamprey!!

 

 

 

Once again, we have a Legionnaire who was created by a fan. Scott Taylor created Lamprey, a woman who could breath water and shoot static electricity. Her first appearance, to no surprise to anyone who reads these columns, was in Amazing World of DC Comics #14. When she finally got to a Legion book, they had changed her name to Tayla Skott, made her powers less fatal, but didn't get rid of the cape.

Seriously? A cape? For a character who swims a lot? How does that even work?

Much like Nightwind, she was pretty generic looking until Keith Giffen completely changed her look, changing her hair, her costume, and her whole vibe.

I've got to assume that she had some fans in the Legion editorial department as she kept popping up in the Legion Academy. She lasted into volume 3, survived the battle with the Dominators in 5YL, and even became a recurring character in the Legion Academy stories in the Retroboot.

Sadly, she never got to be a Legionnaire, but I guess graduating the Academy and not dying can be considered a win.

I have no idea why this is my favorite of the three fan-created Legion Academy members, but she is. She's yet another character in my "I can't explain why I like her, I just do." Let's hope she comes back and we see more of her in the future.

Until next week, everyone, please leave your comments regarding these issues, or Lamprey, on Reddit or this blog page.