Have any of the writers read a single Legion comic? Am I supposed to feel this lost while reading about Flamebird and Nightwing? We take a look at Last Stand of New Krypton #2 & Action Comics #888!

Last Stand of New Krypton #2

Yes, a *George Perez* cover! Gotta love these pleasant surprises!

Let's do a bit of a recap, shall we?

Superman and Mon-El face off against Luthor, Brainiac, and a bunch of Brainiac drones while they try to save a bunch of bottled cities that contain many different alien races.

The Legion Espionage Squad (in name only) are also trying to save these bottled cities and return them to their home planets to ensure that the 31st Century develops they way it's supposed to. They're trying to figure out how to get into Brainiac's ship... even though Tellus shared that info already and should know. Superboy and Supergirl seem to be part of this as well.

Oh, and Tellus is also going to combine powers with the Lanothians (a telepathic alien race living in a bottle) to make every Kryptonian love each other and stop fighting amongst their guild or class divisions. So no free will, right?

Brainiac 5 has come back through time by himself to prevent Brainiac from killing Superman. Somehow Clark's death results in a red storm destroying the universe in the 31st Century, killing every everyone, including the Legionnaires. And no, I have no idea why he didn't bring back as many Legionnaires as he could.

Chapter five of this saga was written by Sterling Gates & James Robinson, pencilled by Pete Woods and Travis Moore, and inked by Woods and Walden Wong. I can't criticize having multiple artists for a 30-page story, so let's just hope everything looks good.

We begin on New Krypton, where Supergirl's mother, Alura, is arguing with General Zod while a bunch of scientists stare at hologram screens that are just floating in front of them. What are they arguing about? The Legion, the battle plans, and how successful the battle will be. Zod comments that the council probably doesn't matter during war, especially considering most of them are already dead, and Alura doesn't even react. She's also far more concerned with whether or not her daughter makes it back safely than anything else going on.

We get a nice full-page shot of the Legion, Supergirl, and Superboy flying towards Brainiac's ship. Well, the computer graphics in the background look nice. The artwork... I'm starting to think that Pete Woods needs a better inker than himself.

They reach the force field and Tellus suggests they use the same way that Superman and Mon-El used - brute force and speed... which is kinda right, I guess. Also, how can someone like Tellus use either speed or brute force? 

But Quislet, finally getting to speak and do something, says that his sensors have told him that Brainiac altered the field so they can't do the same thing. So he's going to project himself through the field, possess the ship, and tell it to lower the force field.

Umm... okay, I know that I'm beating a dead horse here, but you would think these writers would've read one, maybe two issues of the volume 3 Legion to understand the characters and use them correctly. Let's forget that Quislet doesn't speak like this. And he doesn't have sensors that work this way.

Let's just focus on the fact that everything he possesses crumbles into dust once he leaves it. So if he possesses the ship, once he escapes, the threat is over and everything and everyone onboard is suddenly in space. With no protection. So Luthor would be dead, right? And the bottled cities? I dunno. Luckily, we don't have to worry about that mistake as Quislet fails and they have to figure out another way inside.

Which is precisely when Brainiac 5 shows up. So the blue ball last week wasn't a time bubble, it was just an energy field? And again, why couldn't he have fit the entire Legion inside? Also, why couldn't he have arrived earlier and stopped Brainiac before any of this happened? This is yet another problem with the Legion getting involved in events 1,000 years before their time.

Onboard Brainiac's ship, Superman and Mon-El continue to destroy Brainiac drones while the Lanothians continue begging for help telepathically. I'm going to assume that we're going to ignore the fact that every drone uses red sun energy to weaken both Superman and Mon-El until it's necessary for the plot.

Brainiac, still wanting revenge on Clark, punches him square in the jaw, blood spraying from the Kryptonian's mouth. He's also promising to destroy Krypton again.

Mon-El finds himself outnumbered and pulled down to the floor, red sun energy weakening him. Yep, finally happened... If only Superman had friends who were super-powerful and not affected by this... like Green Lantern. Or Wonder Woman. Or Martian Manhunter. Or the Flash. Or... or... or...

Mon-El cries out for help at the same time the Lanothians scream out as well. Then he disappears in a teleportation beam. I think - it's not super clear what happens. Brainiac goes to grab their city but Superman quickly flies past him and saves it. Brainiac says he can have one city, he'll keep the rest.

And our villain, and every other city, disappear in a teleportation beam... I think...

I'd also like to point out that I'm sure Luthor was in this scene in one of the previous issues and has just disappeared. I have no idea where he went and, just like the writers, don't care.

Elsewhere in the ship, the Legion and the Super-teenagers are just casually walking through a hallway, talking about how easy it was for Brainiac 5 to get through the force field.

They split up, wanting to save Superman and Mon-El, save the cities, and stop Brainiac. Who's going to save Supes and Mon? Quislet, Sensor Girl, and Tellus.

They immediately find Kal-El, still holding the city, and Projectra pulls off her mask (and blonde wig) to confirm to Superman that she's his old friend. Again... not a mask. It's an illusion. And she doesn't need it anymore because... oh, who cares... none of this makes sense from a Legion perspective.

Anyway, we get a bunch of exposition explaining that they were all sent back in time by R.J. Brande, Tellus is the one who showed Superman how to cure Mon-El, and the problems they were trying to stop have gotten even worse. The flux (I guess that's the red storm) is snuffing out the future. So the four of them have to stop the drones to save New Krypton.

If you asked me, out of all the Legionnaires, which one would be most unlikely to ever provide exposition in a story, I think I'd put Quislet at the top of that list. But he did. Seriously, Gates and Robinson could've read one or two comics and known everything they needed to make sure these characters were accurate.

Back on New Krypton, the drones (or robots... the writers can't decide what to call them) have reached the command center and Zod must battle them in hand-to-hand combat.

Of course the Kryptonians are getting killed everywhere - they're only fighting in their own little guilds, not together. Tellus can't control them - Brainiac has made them terrified so they can't do anything rationally.

To make it even worse, Brainiac surrounds the city with a force field and no one can escape. All they can do it hope something better happens. The field bottles the city again and it looks like Brainiac has won.

I don't mean to sound like a horrible person here, but if you can't get past your petty little hatred of other guilds when you're about to be imprisoned, for the second time, in a huge force field and shrunk... maybe you kinda deserve it?

They also get blasted by red sun energy and the entire population of the city is powerless. Brainiac's ship's tentacles reach down and pull the city of Kandor off the planet's surface.

Oh, and I think they've been shrunk again but I'm completely guessing. None of the artwork shows this and there are no captions to explain. And there's no sense of scale in the background.

Superman is not happy (no shock) and he finally decides to do something to stop this. Instead of the logical plan, to fly to the ship's control room and stop Brainiac, he bursts out of the ship and starts attacking drones. Then he flies toward the city to try to save it. The ship turns and unleashes a terrible blast of red sun energy.

Superman, powerless, unconscious, falls back towards the planet.

Brainiac turns to Luthor and tells him that they've won. Kandor is back under his control and tiny again. And yay! Luthor's back from... somewhere...

For some strange reason, Zod thinks that Brainiac has been defeated. Oh, and all the Brainiac robots have left Kandor's control center and stopped the attack as well. I guess killing all the other council members was part of Brainiac's plan, but killing the literally leader of their defense strategy wasn't.

Well that was stupidly and annoyingly bad. Like irritatingly bad. Like I kinda don't want to continue with this story bad.

Forget about the fact that the Legion is wasted. And badly written. And the writers don't have a hot clue of what's going on with them.

But this is one of those stories that, if you stop and think for even a moment, everything falls apart and nothing makes sense.

I also have a Kryptonian-related question that I'm hoping someone can answer. If many comic writers have posited that Supergirl is more powerful than Superman because she came to Earth as a teenager and, therefore, can absorb more yellow sun energy because she has... I dunno... more cells, then shouldn't every single adult Kryptonian on the planet be more powerful than both Superman and Supergirl? Am I getting this wrong?

Let's have a palate-cleansing, shall we? The next chapter is supposed to be Adventure Comics #10 but, according to the Superman numbering, we're going to return to the Nightwing and Flamebird and Rao on Earth story in Action Comics. 

 

Action Comics #888

When I last read an Action Comics issue, and was expecting it to be connected to the main story, I was very disappointed that it had nothing to do with New Krypton and was something I didn't need to read to understand what's going on. I had no idea who Nightwing and Flamebird were (Kryptonians who have become super-heroes on Earth) and no idea why these villains were bringing Rao (a Kryptonian god) back to life. I was slightly offended that Lois Lane (who is Nightwing's adoptive mother) was getting favors from big-time corporations to achieve her goals - can't really claim to be impartial when you're using a free, top-of-the-line computer, can you?

Aside: I also keep thinking Nightwing is Dick Grayson and writing that he's Lois Land's adopted son is kinda messing me up. 

I wasn't happy to see the Middle East destroyed. I know I didn't mention it during the previous review, but I always wonder why there aren't any Arabic heroes rushing to save this part of the world. 

But after the previous issue, I'm kinda looking forward to forgetting the whole New Krypton saga for 22 pages... sorry, 16 pages. Because we have a Captain Atom backup. Let's hope writers Greg Rucka and Eric Trautmann and artist Pere Perez can work some magic.

Nightwing is still trapped in... I think it's the Phantom Zone... he's in a shard of glass (??) while the villain is monologuing about how his actions are justice for the many wrongs he's suffered.

The villain is Jax-Ur and he has some sort of connection to Flamebird, who's not happy her partner has been trapped.

More importantly, the replica of the god Rao has reached the Pakistan/Kashmir border and is destroying everything in his path. This means that he's rolled through Iran and most of Pakistan to get here. I wish I remembered why Rao is covered in crystal but, to be honest, if the writers can't be bothered to explain it to me, it can't be too important.

Oh wait... the villain's name is Vohc-the-breaker. Or is that his made up super-villain name? No worries. Let's simplify. Villain is wearing goggles and brought Rao to life... he hates Flamebird... kinda... or he loves her... that's all I need to know, right?

Rao blasts Flamebird with a sonic scream and she crashes to the ground. A kind pair of hands grabs hers and we learn that the Justice Society of America has come to the rescue: Alan Scott - Green Lantern, Jay Garrick - Flash, Dr. Fate (no idea which one) and Mr. Terrific.

The Flash asks where Nightwing is and Flamebird says that he's gone and he's never coming back. The Flash is much more optimistic and they start talking about how to defeat Rao - which will be very difficult because the god keeps getting bigger.

In the Phantom Zone (yay - I was right!), Nightwing laments that he's back in prison and he's never getting out. We learn that this is where Zod and Ursa made him (I'm assuming he means metaphorically, not literally, but who knows?). He starts wandering, wrapped in a black cloak that somehow got into the Zone as well. His turn towards darkness has all the subtlety of a blow to the head.

Back on Earth, the JSA stands around talking about how dangerous the situation is, fighting on the border of two countries that want to go to war with each other. Both Pakistan and India are ready to fire their nuclear weapons, so they have to work fast and contain the damage.

While the JSA grabs the soldiers and missiles, Flamebird directly attacks Vohc.

Back in the Zone, Nightwing gets colder and keeps wrapping himself deeper in the cloak. Nope, this isn't going to end well, is it?

A black dragon-looking monster appears and talks about how it's forgotten what it is to be Nightwing. Wait... so Nightwing is actually some Kryptonian monster?

Flamebird and Vohc keep fighting and zapping each other with heat vision blasts. Rao shrugs off Green Lantern's missiles (or did he grab real missiles?).

And Wonder Woman arrives, attacking Rao and finally, someone gets his attention. Green Lantern puts a green globe around Rao's head to... prevent him from breathing??

Rao finally collapses and Flamebird gloats - she distracted Vohc long enough that he lost control over his creation... I think...

I've just noticed that I'm writing "I think" a lot when trying to describe this issue. This could be because I'm not very smart. It could be because I don't really care about what's going on. Or it could be because the writers aren't even trying to explain what's happening.

Nightwing and the creature keep talking, arguing over their connection and how Nightwing is less of a Kryptonian because he was born in the Phantom Zone. They watch as Rao gets back up to continue fighting and talk about how they have to get out and help the other heroes.

Of course, and if you didn't see this coming, shame on you, they have to unite to get out of the Phantom Zone.

On Earth, the nuclear missiles have been launched, Roa is slowly getting back on his feet, and Vohc is referring to Flamebird as "my love."

Just when you think this couldn't get any worse, especially now that Lois Lane has arrived and is telling Mr. Terrific to do something (because he wasn't trying before that), the missiles are disarmed. But Mr. Terrific didn't do it.

Who did? Nightwing, of course. He's looking much more terrifying then before. I guess merging with a Phantom Zone dragon isn't a good thing to do.

This story really, really, really needed more pages to get into everything. I don't know why they have the backup, or why they cut the page count on this, but it doesn't work in the slightest and just sprints through everything. Normally I'm fine with stories that move faster, but they also have to involve narration and explanation to make sense of it. Or more panels. Or something. This just read like a story done by a writer who had mentally quit the book already.

 

Now to the backup feature starring Captain Atom. It's chapter ten and I know I've read one previous chapter and have no idea which one.

Because this story makes no sense, and it's badly written, and doesn't even try to make it make sense for any readers who missed the previous chapter, or chapters, let's ponder these questions:

When you consider how well DC has handled other Charlton heroes, like Blue Beetle, the Question, or Peacemaker, does it make the way they've fumbled everything about Captain Atom even worse?

How far back do we have to go to get to a compelling Captain Atom story? His solo series? Justice League Europe? Formerly Known as the Justice League? Does anyone have a recommendation aside from these three? I know he's appearing in the new DC KO series, but is he anything other than a first-round knockout for a more popular character? I write that not having a clue what's happening in that book, so if I'm wrong, please tell me.

 

In fact, please leave your comment on these books, to answer any of the questions I've asked, or to let me know what you had for Thanksgiving.

 

The Long Live the Legion podcast has a new episode out as well. We did an interview with former Legion employee and longtime Legion fan Johanna Draper Carlson, talking about the Legion and what comic fandom looks like.

Check it out wherever you listen to your podcasts or on YouTube!