We've reached the end... almost... of this epic Superman story. Where will Mon-El go? Why is Luthor acting so crazy? We look at Superman #699 & Last Stand of New Krypton #3

 

Superman #699

Once again, we recap!

Lex Luthor has stolen one of the bottled cities.

Supergirl, with the help of Brainiac 5, destroyed Brainiac's ship's core so I guess it doesn't have any power.

As happy as I will be when this story is over, the thing I will enjoy the most is not having to type out "Brainiac" over and over and over again.

General Zod leads a group of Kryptonians (the Brainiac Revenge Squad) through Brainiac's ship to stop him and get revenge for Kandor being attacked and shrunk... again...

The Legion stand around and do a whole lot of nothing.

Superboy is trapped inside Kandor.

Mon-El is hooked up to some machine and dreaming of being back in the Phantom Zone (okay, more like a nightmare).

We've reached part 8 of this saga and it's brought to you by writer James Robinson and artist Bernard Chang.

We begin with something I never thought I'd see - Superman and Zod fighting side-by-side against a bunch of drones. The entire Brainiac Revenge Squad (which Superman justifiably mocks) is destroying as many of the robots as they can while Kal-El points out that they should've stayed with the bottle city of Kandor, protected it, and gotten it back to the planet.

Brainiac arrives and Zod immediately attacks the Coluan... while yelling "Coluan!" 

Superman grabs one of the other soldiers and demands to know where Kandor is. They've got a tracer on it and, without asking to learn how to get the tracer's signal, Superman flies off to save the Kryptonian city. There's just so much in this story that's glossed over or left unsaid.

He reaches out to Tellus, who's flying with the rest of the Legion to save the other bottled cities. Superman wants Tellus to connect him with Supergirl, who's with Brainiac 5. He tells her to meet him at Kandor and that he knows where it is.

Again, no idea how... No idea how any of this is working.

Back to Mon-El's dreams. Or flashbacks, actually. We get to see what's been happening to Mon-El is previous issues. Most troubling, to be blunt, is the revelation that Grodd (I'm assuming it's Grodd, or some other scientist ape) was doing medical experiments on a "male Daxamite's reproductive organs."

Wait... it's page 9. The Legion is actually... talking... and fighting things... and rescuing Mon-El. They're actually active participants in this story. Sadly, we're continuing the "Star Man has a mental illness so we're going to have him speak in non-sequiturs that might be confused for comedy... or Deadpool dialogue" character "development."

Sadly, my happiness over the Legion fighting robots is quickly killed by this exchange:

 

Element Lad: Hey, Jeckie. Where'd you learn those moves?

Sensor Girl: Two places. Two men. 31st Century... I'm the widow of Karate Kid, remember. And in Metropolis, too. A man named Jim Harper.

Chameleon Boy: Ah, Jim. A good man. I'll miss him.

 

I get that they have to somehow explain to readers who these characters are, but this is just horrible. Also, are you trying to tell me that Jim Harper (the Guardian in case you didn't know) could teach Jeckie anything that Karate Kid couldn't have?

Also, wouldn't Cham be a little more sympathetic that Val died? Or why would Jeckie need to explain to a Legionnaire that she was Karate Kid's widow?

Also also, why is it that they need to explain why Jeckie can fight but no one else? How can Tellus fight? Or Matter-Eater Lad? Or Element Lad? Why would any Legionnaire be surprised that any member of their team can fight?

The dialogue gets worse before a bigger, badder robot arrives. They stare at it, wondering how to handle it, when the robot's head explodes and we see that Mon-El has escaped from his "prison." Again, no idea how, no idea what happened, and no idea why Brainiac had trapped Mon-El in that dream state when he could've just put him on Kandor and left him powerless.

Elsewhere on the ship, Superman hands Supergirl Kandor, telling her that he needs to face Brainiac and Luthor while she saves the city. Brainiac 5 warns that Kal-El can't face Brainiac, that he can't die, and Superman swears that won't happen.

Why am I not surprised that first, no one stops Supergirl and Brainy and second, we've once again proven that Zod was right and Brainiac doesn't know everything that's happening on board his ship. Or... the writer isn't really paying attention. Like, how does a super smart Coluan not have a connection to every part of his ship? And why would Brainiac just let the pair fly off with the city that's the whole reason for this insane story in the first place?

The Legion and Mon-El (weird to separate them but since this version of Mon hasn't become a Legionnaire yet, it kinda makes sense) have reached the bottle cities room and they're stunned by how many are there. How did Mon-El find it so quickly? He's still linked to the Lanothians and they guided him.

We get the next part of R.J. Brande's commands to this Legion Espionage team. They are supposed to bring Mon-El with them to save all of these worlds. If I'm reading this right, and I'm now guessing as to what I think will happen, there are one of two options here. Either they put Mon-El back into the Phantom Zone and let him sit there for 1,000 years or bring him back with them to a later future. My brain hurts.

On New Krypton, Brainiac 5 points a machine at Kandor and enlarges it. Superboy flies out, happy to finally be free of the bottle.

Back on board the ship, Zod and Brainiac keep fighting. Superman flies in, grabbing the Coluan.

Somewhere else on the ship, Luthor puts down the bottled city he had grabbed before and uses the same kind of machine Brainy had. The city starts growing.

As the city grows, Superman and Brainiac keep fighting.

As the city starts smashing through the walls of the bottle, Mon-El asks Sensor Girl to change his uniform to no longer have Superman's emblem on it. He feels like he's betraying his friend and doesn't deserve to wear it. So we get him back in his old uniform (with blue trunks so... meh...).

The city continues to grow, smashing through the top of Brainiac's ship and we're heading into the conclusion of this epic...

 

Maybe it's because my expectations have dropped dramatically since I started this saga, or maybe it's just because I was happy to see the Legion doing anything, but I was moderately entertained here.

I still wish Robinson didn't write some of the worst Legion dialogue I've seen in a long, long, long time. 

I still have no idea why Luthor is doing what he's doing. Why enlarge the city? Why destroy Brainiac's ship? If they don't explain this later, I'm going to be really annoyed. Spoiler - they do in the worst imaginable way.

 

 

Last Stand of New Krypton #3

This is it. The grand finale (although we have another week of crossovers)! The Krypton-shattering conclusion!

Part nine is brought to you by writers James Robinson & Sterling Gates and artist Pete Woods.

We begin with a lovely twelve-panel page showing everyone's shock and surprise at the city growing within Brainiac's ship, which is on a crash course to New Krypton. Okay, Luthor's not shocked. But everyone else is.

It's all part of his plan, his endgame, and he knows that no one has time to act.

Mon-El wants to stay with Superman but Kal-El tells him to let him handle Brainiac and Luthor. Mon's place is with the Legion, who grab the remaining bottled cities and head off the ship. At least, I think that's what they do. Also, no idea how they grab so many of them - Tellus' telekinesis, I guess.

Superman bursts through the wall of the ship, a blaze of blue and red, with Supergirl and Superboy speeding after him. The trio get to the front of the ship, desperately trying to hold Brainiac's ship as it crashes into Kandor. Other Kryptonites join them, adding their strength, to try to save their city.

Sadly, they're not enough. The ship crashes to the ground in a huge explosion and then purple lightning strikes, killing many and causing even more destruction.

I know I've been a little harsh on this series so far. But this 10-page sequence, all told in two-page spreads, was very, very impressive. We finally get the Kryptonians working together, regardless of guild. We see the scope of the destruction. We see how big this threat is. We see the terror on Superman's face.

It's really, really good.

In the wreckage, Brainiac 5 calls out for Supergirl, who's still trying to hold the rapidly-expanding city back. She needs his help to get control of the bottle city that's growing inside Kandor. He accesses the controls and shrinks it back down. That was quick and easy.

Then we get the first big shock - Superman is impaled on the wreckage of the ship, blood pouring from his mouth and down his body. Brainy's fear has come true. He orders Supergirl to find Superboy.

And because he's wearing an insane amount of plot armor, Luthor emerges from the wreckage, gloating that the destruction is beautiful. Okay, he is bleeding and has a piece of metal in his shoulder, but he should be dead.

Brainiac grabs him, wanting to know why he betrayed him. Why? It's simple - Luthor would never help an alien.

So Brainiac kills him. That's our second big shock. Yep, that's a broken neck.

Kryptonians arrive, blasting Brainiac, and are ordered to stop by General Zod. He wants Brainiac for himself. Brainiac calls him a coward but Zod blasts himself with a red sun radiation gun (no idea why his soldiers would have that) and wants to face Brainiac without powers. Zod says he's better than Superman - he doesn't need an edge to defeat a Coluan.

Well, that's dumb.

Back to Superman. Brainy has gotten Superboy to start a blood transfusion between Conner and Kal-El and then Brainy blasts Superman with a concentrated dose of yellow sun energy. And Superman's immediately back on his feet, looking fine. So if Brainiac 5 knew how to save Superman, and brought back a device to do it, why was he so scared of Kal-El's death?

Also, could they have not dragged that out a page, maybe? I mean, why have the dramatic death scene if it was going to be solved so simply and quickly? I'm starting to think that, as much as I loved the 10 pages previously, it's going to result in a very, very, very rushed final issue.

Brainiac and Zod keep fighting, each talking about who's better than Superman and who's the better fighter. Zod gets the advantage, battering Brainiac to his knees, before drawing his gun to kill the Coluan.

Which is when, of course, Superman flies in to save his enemy.

While Zod remembers that he's in the authority and orders his soldiers to arrest Superman, Brainy realizes it's time for him to step him. He tells Supergirl to "watch out for your mother", stands in front of Brainiac to prevent Zod from killing him, and then takes his ancestor somewhere in time.

Once everything has calmed down, and Kandor is kinda back to normal, Zod and Ursa talk about his plans for the future. Now that he's super popular, it's only a matter of time before he's the new leader. And then we get the three page wrap-up to explain what happened and what's going to happen:

• Brainy grabbed Brainiac in a time machine (which he didn't have when he arrived, but let's just ignore that)
• The Legion and Mon-El are just flying through space with all the bottled cities (really? No ship?) (also, what about the other city that was left behind on New Krypton? I hope it's not one that's important to the future of the U.P. I now really want a future story where they're like, "Um, does anyone know where the Imskians are?")
• Luthor was a robot so not really dead. He was actually working with General Lane. The robot was built by the Toyman. And Luthor gets a pardon from the U.S. President for his help. There's also one last part of the deal that is coming soon... And I know this is supposed to be a shock reveal, but I think we all know Luthor's never going to die, right?
• And General Zod wants to go to war against Earth.

This leads to the next big story: "Superman: War of the Supermen"

But we're not there yet - come back next week for the final part of this Last Stand of New Krypton. 

 

On a much more positive note, the latest episode of the Long Live the Legion podcast arrives today and Jim and I talk about the Time Trapper. It's a great look into one of the Legion's most important villains and all the different incarnations.

Check it out on YouTube if you prefer!