Earth-Man saves insects! Saturn Girl and Cosmic Boy hookup and she wipes his memories... and she's the hero?? Let's look at Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) #3 & Adventure Comics #517

Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) #3 

Welcome back. We've reached the third issue of the Legion and I wanted to share something... yes, more statistics! (And I'll apologize for my bad Excel work right now)

As I was looking over the sales numbers, I wanted to compare to other DC books launched the same month and see if the Legion titles were dropping at a faster rate.

They aren't. Both Birds of Prey (which should be a big seller because of the Batman connection) and Zatanna (not as big of a seller because she wasn't that popular in the early 2010s) drop over 10% from the first to second issue. Birds of Prey has a weird jump for issue 4 (I'm honestly not sure why) and then craters to Legion level of sales with #5 and #6.

I'm starting to think this is just indicative of most DC books of the time, regardless of the characters or creative team... except for Batman. Or big crossovers.

What's most fascinating about this to me is just how consistent it is. I wonder if DC editors at the time were launching each book and just praying they they wouldn't drop into the 20,000 range. Because that seems to be where everything is going, right?

And yes, these sales continue dropping with each issue.

Does anyone know what is the break even point for a DC comic? Do they have to sell over 25,000 to be profitable? 20,000? Lower?

Let's get to the book: To recap, Earth-Man is on the team, xenophobes are protesting the Titanians who have been settled on Earth after their home moon exploded, Earth-Man has a Green Lantern ring, the rest of the U.P. have to be convinced to trust Earth, Saturn Girl is searching for her twins somewhere in time, Lightning Lad has left his quest for Mekt's long-lost twin to find her, Mon-El and Shadow Lass have broken up, and Saturn Queen messed with Ultra Boy's mind and made him attack Legion HQ.

This issue was written by Paul Levitz, pencilled by Yildiray Cinar and Francis Portela, and inked by Wayne Faucher and Portela.

Earth-Man wants to leave Legion HQ and Colossal Boy is trying to stop him. The ring is telling Earth-Man to go and Gim is stunned that Kurt (yes, I'll start using his first name like he's a real Legionnaire, even though it feels wrong) would have it. Earth-Man blasts Gim into the wall with green energy and then finds himself floating thanks to Cosmic Boy.

The ring keeps ordering Kurt to go and serve his sector. His costume suddenly changes and Earth-Man flies off. Or Green Lantern flies off. No, that feels wrong, too. Let's stick with Earth-Man. Cosmic Boy orders Sun Boy to stop heading towards Titan to face Saturn Queen and, instead, follow Earth-Man in the cruiser.

Speaking of Titan, Saturn Queen is sitting on a rock, floating in space, with the mind-contolled Brainiac 5 and Tyroc... and Wildfire's suit. She blames them for letting Titan fall and is going to kill them once Ultra Boy has destroyed the HQ. Brainy tries to fight back and we get a really un-Brainy text box: "Bitch. Bitch in my brain... g...get out." She beats him down, kicking him in the head. Dark stories!! That sells, right!

She turns to Tyroc, happy that he's not resisting, and compares Titan to Marzal. Both were colonies that left Earth because they weren't understood. Then she says that Titan was never prepared to have someone like her born there. She's angry because she was ready to move back home and settle with them - and then the Legion let the whole planet explode.

Okay, that's not really what happened, but since when has Saturn Queen cared about reality? Also, I'm getting strong Emerald Empress vibes right now, which I'm all in favor of. The Legion needs more dynamic villains. This could be the start of something huge if they handle it correctly.

Somehow Lightning Lad and Lightning Lass have found Saturn Girl's Time Bubble. Imra's collapsed, having spent days looking for her children. They're not in the time stream but back in the 31st Century. I have no idea how or why. None of this makes any sense at all.

The pair fly back to the Legion cruiser Ayla is piloting and we learn something new about Garth - he has an incredible ability to find locations. Even though they only have a glimpse of a place when, last issue, Imra scanned the twins' brains while they were being taken, it's enough for Garth to locate them. We get some more weird dialogue:

Ayla: You know Garth's dopey memory, Imra -- drove his teachers nuts. Never turning in homework, but never missed a spot on the map.

Garth: It was during my term as Legion leader...

Imra: That's my Garth.

Garth: We're coming, boys...

Problem number one - let's just go with Garth being able to remember locations better than anything else. Are we supposed to believe that means he can identify anywhere in the universe by memory? Does that make any sense to anyone? The whole universe??

I mean, why not just have the image go through a computer search? I'd believe that something Brainiac 5 created could find a spot on some random planet in the universe. But Garth remembering it?

Problem number two - what happened during his term as leader? Anyone?

Earth-Man has been sent to the planet Ozifer to save it. There are "apocalyptic conditions" that need a Lantern. The ring tells Kurt that the Guardians are no more and all the Lanterns have died (which isn't true, right? There is a Lantern on Oa right now.. did Levitz already forget?). So it's up to him to save the planet. Since the ring won't let him leave, he has to save an alien planet that he doesn't care about.

He uses his ring to pull together a crack in a swamp but that's not enough - the ring orders him to save the sentients. Earth-Man encounters a swamp creature that grabs him and drags him down to the waters. Kurt wants to destroy it, saying that it's obviously not sentient, but the ring tells him "Destruction of sentient life forbidden."

Which is when Sun Boy grabs him and lifts him to safety. The second cruiser has arrived and Dirk tells him that if there wasn't a ship full of Legionnaires watching, he'd let him drop.

Quick Lantern aside: Earth-Man is the only active Lantern in the universe. And he's wearing a ring that can take him anywhere in a short amount of time. So why have they assigned him a sector? Shouldn't he be taking care of everywhere?

Also, why aren't they looking for more Lanterns? Shouldn't this be priority number one? Are you telling me that Earth-Man is the only person in the entire universe who's worthy of being a Lantern?

On Earth, at one of the emergency shelters for the Titan survivors, Professor Li (scientist who watched the formation of the universe and caused Titan to explode) and Aven (Saturn Girl's teacher) talk about what happened to the planet. Li feels guilty for everything and Aven is upset that they don't know what actually happened to their planet. Although I'm hoping this will pay off, I'm not counting on it.

Speaking of Titan, Saturn Queen is still just waiting for Ultra Boy to return. You'd think she'd have better things to do. She gets hit from behind and we see the Legion has arrived: Phantom Girl is not happy Saturn Queen used Jo.

Tinya calls herself "The Goose Girl" (no idea what this is referencing) and we see she's brought Ultra Boy, Tellus, and Sensor Girl. Saturn Queen mentally controls Brainiac 5 and Tyroc, so we have a Legionnaire versus Legionnaire battle. Tellus can protect everyone's minds, so we're good to go.

Well, it might have been. Sensor Girl takes over Brainy and Tyroc, ordering them to "do as your queen commands!" Saturn Queen has lost control, Brainy knocks her out with one punch, and Projectra can't believe a commoner calls herself a queen.

What was the point? You spend two issues building up Saturn Queen as a new threat and she gets taken down that quickly? I get that you want to make the Legion look strong, but this just destroys the villain. Why send two cruisers full of Legionnaires to stop her if she's taken out this easily?

Also, when did Sensor Girl's powers work like that? I know they've leaned into her mystical side since Retroboot started, but this makes her unstoppable. I also don't understand why she's still putting on royal airs after all these years. I guess her personality took a step back to the Silver Age.

We get a quick one-pager letting us know that a bunch of Durlans are plotting revenge for Brande's death. I'll just assume they're going to blame the Legion because out heroes get blamed for everything, right?

On Ozifer, Shadow Lass, Element Lad, and Invisible Kid have joined Sun Boy in trying to convince Earth-Man to leave. But the ring won't let him. He's got to save everyone first.

Shadow Lass grabs Kurt's hand and sees that the ring is displaying an insect. They wonder if that's the sentient lifeform the ring wants saved. Finally, Earth-Man asks the ring what he needs to do. The ring tells him to lower the atmospheric carbon  levels to below one percent. Shady points out that the ring must be asked precise questions as it doesn't actually have a brain.

Earth-Man absorbs some of Element Lad's powers and, along with Jan's help and the ring, they try to convert the carbon gases into something inert. They succeed and Kurt pulls the ring off his hand, throwing it down to the planet. He doesn't want to be a slave to a bunch of dead aliens (who knew it was that easy to quit?).

As the Legion flies away and the ring splashed into the water, the blue guy from Oa who found Kurt in the first place suddenly appears.

Elsewhere, Lightning Lad has figured out that the boys were taken to Avalon, a medieval world (and home to one of the worst Legion stories ever). Ayla interrupts and points out that Avalon now has a gigantic Darkseid statue.

 

You know, having Earth-Man save alien races as a Green Lantern could be a good way to redeem the character and make him a real "hero." If only we hadn't already seen him do horrific things to our favorite Legionnaires, the fans might actually want to see this change occur. Unfortunately, I don't think many, if any, do.

This was a pretty mediocre to below mediocre story. I'm still digging the art but I wish any of this made sense. The nostalgic side of me is happy to see a Legion comic that's using a bunch of the team, building subplots and character arcs, and has them acting like heroes. Oh, and not dying. The critical reader in me doesn't like most of the story choices being made and there are plot holes bigger than a planet.

If DC was hoping that simply putting Levitz back on the book would be enough to keep longline Legion fans happy, they're wildly underestimating us. As my Prime Minister said, nostalgia is not a strategy.

 

 

Adventure Comics #517

No recap here because we're going back to the Legion's past again. I wonder if there was ever a discussion to have split the Legion into two teams - one in each book - and make it easier for new readers.

Written by Paul Levitz, pencilled by Kevin Sharpe, and inked by Marlo Alquiza, we start just after the Legion was founded. We're in the 31st Century, which (I think) goes against what some other stories have said... not that anyone's cared a lick about continuity anyway.

Saturn Girl is exercising, lamenting that although she's in good enough shape to be an S.P., she's nowhere near what Rokk and Garth are at. This may be more believable if Sharpe hadn't drawn her like a Crossfit model. She doesn't want "be just the girl." I'd also point out that, while it makes sense for Rokk to be in insanely good shape (professional athlete), it makes no sense for Garth to be in the same place. I'm also not sure I like "bad self-esteem Imra" after those horrible plot lines during Threeboot.

Cosmic Boy and Lightning Lad enter, impressed by her workout... or the fact that Imra, who's supposed to be 14 or 15, looks like a professional wrestler. For all the crap that the so-called "Archie Legion" gets, can we all just admit that at the very least, it was the only time the Legion has actually looked their ages?

Imra leaves and is immediately accosted by people asking about her. I think... I think they're reporters because one's holding a microphone. And maybe they're there... or maybe they're holograms. Or maybe... Would it have be so hard to show what's going on here?

But instead of figuring that out, we head out to an S.P. mission. The trio join an officer (Sergeant Esquivel) to stop an off-worlder named Zaryan (who I believe will tell you your fortune at a fair) from stealing robot parts. They've been told to only observe what's going on, but we all know that's not going to happen. Rokk and Garth immediately leap into action, blasting the robots and magnetically shoving them together.

The heart of the story is that Saturn Girl isn't able to do anything. She stands around. She can't stop any robots (the S.P.s destroy them before she can reach them) and her pride is damaged. She knows that she didn't pull her weight and swears that won't happen again.

So she heads to S.P. HQ and, with Esquivel, practices robot fighting moves. She doesn't want to rest and keeps pushing to do more and more. I'm not sure if practicing hand-to-hand combat on machines is the best strategy, but what do I know?

Back at Legion HQ, we get a recap on how they can't get any information about Zaryan's raids and then Garth delivers two big pieces of news: there are people coming to Earth to try out for the team and the media is guessing that Saturn Girl and Cosmic Boy are a couple.

There are two factories on Earth that make similar robots to the parts that they attempted to steal, so Lightning Lad heads to Silicon Valley with Lt. Zendak and Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl to Taiwan with Esquivel.

Taiwan is attacked from above but Cosmic Boy isn't able to do much against the  enemy ship. Esquivel calls in more S.P.s and the three bust into the craft. The S.P. officer heads off alone while Rokk explains ship's redundancies to the girl who was going to join the S.P.s. You would think they would be moving quicker than the S.P. since they have rocket belts and super powers. Rokk starts fighting and Imra heads off by herself.

When she finally encounters a villain, Imra distracts Esquivel, who gets shot in the chest. Saturn Girl knocks out the shooter and lifts up the lifeless body of her friend.

The captain of the ship wasn't Zaryan, the S.P.s arrest everyone on the ship, and Saturn Girl places Esquivel on a floating medical bed. So she's alive? Maybe...?

Nope. Imra swears that she is "never, ever going to let anyone die in my place again!" Rokk offers her something stronger than Kono juice and reminds her that he's there for her.

He's really there for her, because the next morning they wake up in bed together, totally naked. Imra immediately recognizes this for the mistake it is, so she wipes his memories. Yep, that's a healthy way of handling problems.

Later that day, Rokk and Garth are watching over the construction of the HQ. At least this time they have robots handling it. Rokk laments that he's hungover and doesn't remember a thing. He knows he brought someone back to his quarters but not who - the person left before he woke up. Garth jokes that maybe, since he and Imra were on a barcrawl last night, it might've been her. But Rokk says it can't be he's staying out of her way.

Saturn Girl walks into the communications room of the HQ and receives a very important message: Brainiac 5 has built a Time Bubble at the Time Institute and he's ready to take them back to the 20th Century to meet Superman.

Imra's reaction: "Excellent. I swear celibacy, and an hour later I find out I'll get to meet the hero I've had a crush on since I was a schoolgirl. This is so not fair."

To be continued...

Let's start with the obvious. Unless teenagers are allowed to go on barcrawls and get blackout drunk in the 31st Century, Legion continuity has been changed so they're starting the team when they're legally adults. So 18? 19? 21?

If you want to say that they're still 14 and that's the age of adulthood in this era, then let's go with the other obvious point - Rokk is waaaaaaay too comfortable with the idea of getting drunk, having a one-night-stand, and not knowing who the person is the next day... for a 14-year-old. Okay, I get that professional athletes are very popular, but this is not the Rokk Krinn that we know and love.

We've also thrown out the "Garth's in love with Imra right from the beginning" plot line because he's far too comfortable with the idea that Rokk and Imra might've drunkenly hooked up.

Did Paul Levitz read Jim Shooter's character descriptions?

If you haven't figured it out yet, I really didn't like this issue at all. I get trying to create drama for these characters, but everything about this story just lessens the characters. One of the things I hated about Reboot Saturn Girl the most was her constant wiping of people's memories. Why bring that back?

And the death of Esquivel might've had a little bit of impact if they had developed her friendship with Imra to a greater level and actually made her death more dramatic. The art definitely didn't help here.

Speaking of the art, I've refrained from saying too much about Sharpe's pencils the last couple of reviews but I'll let loose now. They're not good. All of the Superman books at this time look the same - mediocre art that fits some horrible house style. The whole Last Stand of New Krypton was full of it and I don't think there was a single issue where I was impressed with the pictures.

Do I need to remind DC that these are comic books? The art is critically important!

Sharpe's anatomy and facial designs change from panel to panel. His composition is fairly average at best and, honestly, takes more away from than story than contributes to it. It's a shame, because I think there's some talent in there, but he's just not putting it all together.

Sorry if this was an overly negative columns. I've tried really hard to be positive the last couple of weeks and I just couldn't keep my snark in any more.

Please let me know what you think about these issues either here or on Reddit and we'll see everyone next week!