It's Chameleon Boy against his aunt! The Legion Academy students party in the strangest way possible! Let's go back and take a look at Adventure Comics #523 & Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) #10

 

Adventure Comics #523

Because no one demanded it, this book switched focus to the Legion Academy. You remember a few issues ago when they got Phil Jimenez to pencil a back-up story focused on the new trainees? I guess DC got excited at the possibility of having a superstar artist on the book, so we're ignoring the regular Legion team and taking a look at characters that we've already been told aren't good enough to be Legionnaires. We're also adding numerous new characters to an already crowded series, so I'm sure they got a ton of complaints about that, too.

It should also come as no surprise that Jimenez only lasts three issues on this book... so any excitement of having him on the title is very short-lived.

This story, titled "First Night," credits Paul Levitz and Phil Jimenez as storytellers and Andy Lanning on inks. This is a pretty darn good team, so I'm cautiously excited.

A ship has arrived at The Sorcerers' World, ready to pick up the newest trainee for the Legion Academy. The Black Witch and Blok wait with this young magician, a purple-clad girl named Glorith.

The Black Witch tells her that she has taught her what she can and it's time for Glorith to learn somewhere else. She's going to learn as Mysa did, with the Legion. The ship stops and three people come down in an energy beam: Power Boy, Night Girl, and Comet Queen. Aside from the lack of space, I'm not sure why the first two get captions explaining who they are but Comet Queen doesn't. Also, are Power Boy and Comet Queen students or teachers?

Anyway, Mysa reveals that she can't go to Earth or the darkness within will escape. Blok reassures Glorith, telling her that they'll be there for her. And then Power Boy hits Blok in the side of the head with a ball because... honestly, I have no idea. I think they're trying to show his nervousness, but it's not well explained.

We get some more cryptic words from The Black Witch and the ship takes off.

Next, a full-page shot of the Academy students' heads, surrounding poor, confused Glorith. We finally get the Comet Queen introduction, along with captions for everyone else: Gravity Kid, Chemical Kid, Variable Lad, and Dragonwing. I guess she's a student and Power Boy is a teacher... but I'm not betting on it.

For her first day on Earth, the students take Glorith into Montauk, a suburb of Metropolis. She's overwhelmed by the shopping, the personalities, and the distractions. They talk about the Legion and Chemical Kid talks about how they'll be Legionnaires some day. Dragonwing says that they're years away, if they're ever so lucky. 

The two are tired of Montauk, especially since they can't go to Metropolis, so they... I think... break into a business and take whatever they want. Chemical Kid puts everything on his dad's account, so I guess it's not stealing. But this is pretty morally gray, right? Is this what constitutes partying in the 31st century?

Back at the Academy, Duplicate Girl is watching and doesn't like Chemical Kid very much. She considers him a bad influence. Bouncing Boy comes down to check on his wife, clad in Legion-issue pajama bottoms, and tells Luornu to remember they're kids. But she knows they need some discipline.

So the next morning, she wakes the trainees up early and sends them into gym number four. Night Girl is waiting for them. The challenge: the students have to get past her and grab a red ball... without using their powers on her. She knows they broke curfew last night but isn't going to make the test easy. The lights go out so Lydda is now super-strong.

The trainees go for the ball one at a time so we get to see what everyone's powers look like. Night Girl evades each of their attempts until Chemical Kid accelerates his own metabolism, speeding himself up, and easily grabs the ball. I have no idea how that gives him super-speed, but we get the conclusion we want - the arrogant jerk wins the test and doesn't really learn anything. Duplicate Girl says that it's not bad if you ignore the complete lack of teamwork, but the challenge is over.

Does it make any sense that I like the name "Triplicate Girl" and hate the name "Duplicate Girl?"

Elsewhere in the Academy, Power Boy and Lamprey talk about how Comet Queen somehow got back into the training, even though she had already left. They wonder if they'll ever become Legionnaires and Power Boy says that they'll get their share of the glory somehow. And... and I could be wrong here... but it looks like Lamprey is resting on Power Boy's shoulder, and this is a private room... are they a couple? Such a shame they couldn't make it clearer for slow readers like me.

Glorith is in her room, sending a magical message to someone called Harlak, when Dragonwing enters and tells her they're going back into town. Yep, these two, plus Chemical Kid and Comet Queen, are heading out to party. Gravity Kid catches them and asks them why. As they fly away, Power Boy asks him what's going on.

In Montauk, Chemical Kid tries to use his father's account to pay for everything but it's rejected. Every time he tries, he's "Denied." Which is when they're surrounded by the S.P.s, who tell them they're under arrest for violating store policies.

I know this is an unfair comparison, but I really get a "New Mutants" vibe from this story. They're trying their best to create this young team, show them as the immature kids they are, and hope that the readers care about them enough to keep buying this book.

Unfortunately, this is a pretty hit-and-miss issue.

Let's just start with the best plus of this book. I unapologetically love Phil Jimenez's artwork, so I was smiling through every page. When you compare the artwork to the previous artists, there's honestly no comparison. Just a beautiful book.

I really, really love this new look for Glorith. Making her a teenager, and a graduate of The Sorcerers' World, is a great take on what was one of the biggest villains in Legion history. The creative team can take her in so many different directions and the reader won't know when she's going to turn evil... or if she will at all... 

I just wish they had spent some time closing the plot holes and giving you a reason to like anyone on the team. Some problems I had with the story:

• Why are they breaking into a store, buying alcohol on account, and then just hanging out? I would think they'd want to bask in the attention of the people in the night clubs, not hide away from them. Chemical Kid is written as a huge narcissist but yet does things in contrast to his personality.
• I wish they made sense of how the Legion Academy works. Why are Power Boy and Lamprey there? Are they still instructors? If so, it would've been nice to see them teaching someone. If they're students, shouldn't they be training with the rest?
• Also, do these students go out regularly and fight crime/save people? We saw it in an earlier issue where they dealt with a fire - why didn't we see that here? Levitz could've easily tied this into the regular Legion stories - have the students near Titan, clearing debris and dealing with the destruction.
• Are these teenagers or adults? If they're teenagers, why aren't there bigger punishments for them breaking curfew? If they're adults, why would the instructors care what they do in their free time?
• And if Chemical Kid is such a jerk, why not just kick him out? Surely there are tons of wannabe heroes who'd jump at the chance of being in the Academy - why keep someone around who they can't teach?
• Is it insane that I'm still waiting for Chuck to lay into Luornu for all the crap she's put him through? And am I insane in thinking that the animated series is still the best Bouncing Boy has ever looked? 

Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) #10

Here's the quick recap - Durlans who blame the U.P. for R.J. Brande's death have come to Earth to kill off the U.P. councillors. The Legion has been pretty mediocre at stopping them. The Durlans also killed S.P. Chief Zendak, but no one knows that yet. Brainiac 5 and Chameleon Boy went to Durla to try to figure it out, but actually didn't need to make the trip as Brainy just stared at the data on the ship's computer and determined that Cham's aunt was connected to the murders.

I'm also fairly certain that the Legion captured/killed the Durlan who killed Zendak when he tried to kill Cosmic Boy and since that one looked like the leader of all this, I have no idea how they're going to explain a second leader. Actually, I'm not sure they even care if this makes sense.

Mon-El is a Green Lantern and was also elected team leader, Professor Harmonia Li is an immortal, Dream Girl is the greatest fighter on the team, and Dawnstar is badly injured and recovering.

This story, titled "Hiding in Plain Sight," was brought to you by writer Paul Levitz, penciller Yildiray Cinar, and inker Wayne Faucher.

We begin in space. Half the U.P. council has gotten into ships and are heading to Weber's World. They claim they're needed, but Ultra Boy and Wildfire are convinced they're just cowards fleeing for their lives... which makes sense if you're not super-powered and a Durlan is trying to kill you. But before that breaks your brain, we get this really weird exchange:

 

Wildfire: I'd rather be watching Dawnstar -- they're trying to get her out of her coma soon.

Ultra Boy: Glad she's better -- never could warm up to her, though.

Wildfire: It's that weird reaction between her and your gal -- Phantom Girl's the only Legionnaire that Dawny can't track -- drives her nuts!

 

I know that we're supposed to just accept that Ultra Boy is a clueless idiot, but is that not the worst thing to say to the man in love with Dawnstar? And Wildfire just provides exposition that has no connection to anything anyone said before - we just needed to know this new bit of info. Just weird dialogue.

Anyway, a ship flies into their spacelane so Ultra Boy stops it, rips open the hull, and wants an explanation from the confused aliens. I guess every ship has safety features to protect against explosive decompression... or Jo just murdered three beings. I'm also wondering why they're surprised any more - it seems like ships are flying where they're not supposed to every issue.

Somewhere in space, a hologrammatic Cosmic Boy is letting Mon-El know that his time wandering around the universe with Dyogene must end - he's the leader of the Legion and his old loyalties must come first. Rokk also provides this warning - if he doesn't, the new Deputy Leader will take the job and Mon says, "That wouldn't be good."

Who are they talking about? Brainiac 5. Who has just come back to Legion HQ and is taking command of the team.

Seriously - if they all hate him so much, and don't trust him, why haven't they just kicked him off the team? Could it be because having Brainy as a sociopathic jerk is a horrible idea?

Brainy immediately reaches out to some Legionnaires off world and gives quick, decisive orders. Cosmic Boy wants to know what's going on, but Brainy refuses to tell him. Instead, he insinuates that when the Durlan was trying to kill Rokk a couple of issues ago, killing Rokk didn't really matter. It was all to confuse the Legion.

Reep has brought Phantom Girl and Chameleon Girl to R.J. Brande's estate. It's a secret mission for the Espionage Squad and, if they're lucky, they'll catch the assassin. Has everyone on the creative team forgotten that there were multiple assassins, that one was caught and is in custody, and there are a few more running free? Probably. And if I'm wrong, it just means this book has done such a piss poor job of making anything work that someone reading these a week apart is lost and confused.

Yera complains about the lack of acting jobs now that Earthlings hate Durlans even more and I wonder why places wouldn't hire a Legionnaire to star in their plays. Also, after the way she was treated when Earth-Man was running the new Justice League, I'm surprised that she's still going out to face human beings at all.

Cham breaks in, changes into Brande to fool the sensors (I guess they weren't informed of his death), and tries to follow the money on his computers. But someone else is logged in as Brande and the security devices go crazy, ready to attack.

Back at Legion HQ, Brainy is slowly revealing details and somewhat contradicting himself. He says that when the assassin pretended to be Zendak, he used his rank to change the records of money transfers from Brande's accounts. And he was going to do the same with Legion records by becoming Cosmic Boy. So the killer was targeting Rokk after all. Was Brainy wrong or just lying to irritate Cosmic Boy?

Cham fights against the security robots that are attacking them while Phantom Girl stays immaterial. Chameleon Girl just collapses when she gets shot and I guess we're completely ignoring that she got a lot of training in the past and she's... you know... a Legionnaire who's been in fights before. Or should we be asking why she's a Legionnaire?

The only bit of consistency so far is that the Durlans always turn into dragons. So I'm not surprised when Cham's aunt, who raised him like a son, appears in the form of a green dragon. They battle, Cham turns into a dinosaur, gets his butt kicked (wasn't he trained to fight?), and Tinya activates her Flight Ring to call for help.

To Medicus-One we go, where Dawnstar has finally woken up from her coma and has completely healed. Luckily, Tellus had nothing better to do (weird when the team is so short-handed) than stay and wait for her, so he telepathically lets her know what's been happening. She agrees that Zendak is dead as she can't sense him anywhere either.

Then she flies off into space to find the blue light that struck and injured her before. Does she change into her costume first? Nope. Does she wait for any help? Nope. Dawnstar leaves, clad only in a tube top and bikini bottoms, and flies off to find the entity that injured her so badly that she had to stay in a coma for days.

Let's go back to the fight. Gates has teleported Tyroc, Timber Wolf, and Brainiac 5 to Brande's estate but Cham tells them all to stand down. He's going to handle this. The two Durlans fight, Cham defeats her about as easily as one can, and the Legionnaires have to hold him back from doing worse.

Yes, Cham had to be held back from killing the woman who raised him like a mother because she was using Brande's money to get back at the U.P. But, and once again, I could be wrong here, I don't think she actually killed anyone. She was the silent organizer and financier. Right? Right? I honestly have no idea any more.

Brainiac 5 declares his first case as Legion leader closed as rocks fall on him. I think. Luckily he has a force field to protect him. But seriously... rocks fall on him for no discernable reason.

I think I lost brain cells reading this one. Nothing made sense, from the "mystery," to the big reveal, to any character decisions, to any character motivations. This was just bad. Like, I'm glad this book is ending soon bad.

On a much more positive note, the latest Long Live the Legion podcast just arrived and we spend out time talking all about Colossal Boy. We're joined by Arumidden, someone who posts a lot on the Legion Discord and is a huge Legion and Gim Allon fan. So if you love Legionnaires who never get the respect they deserve, check us out on your favorite podcast app or on YouTube.