The Emerald Empress is back! We return to Durla! Keith Giffen is back! Should I be this excited? Let's take a look at Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) Annual #1 & #9
Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) Annual #1
To no one's surprise, I messed up the order and this annual should've been part of last week's column. Oh well, better late than never, right?
This special issue is brought to you by Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen, with John Dell and Scott Koblish handling the inking. Giffen and Levitz - back together again! Giffen - back on the Legion for the first time since the reboot Legion!
And how busy is Giffen at this time? He's writing Doom Patrol, co-writing Booster Gold, and just finished a run on The Outsiders. So this isn't one of those moments where they're helping a veteran comic creator to give him some work. He's busy.
We begin on Orando, about a year ago, and an injured young woman is on the run from a beast called a "bloodseeker" and two soldiers. She's badly injured, with a horrible facial wound, and stumbling to safety. She ends up in an old, stinky wreck and is bathed in green energy. An eye motif is heavily present here. She falls into the green, wondering if she'll ever land.
Outside the craft, the lord who wants her back can't believe she'd choose a fallen temple over his bed. He enters, calling her name, Falyce. She blasts him with more green energy as she emerges, naked, accompanied by a large green eye. She destroys the temple in a monstrous explosion.
We move to present day, and the Emerald Empress is in control of the planet now. She has pulled a space craft from outer space, crashing it into the ground. She's called "Majesty" from those around her. She finds two life capsules and the Eye opens them: inside are Lightning Lass and Shrinking Violet. As she looks at them, she says, "Ah. What treats Eye have found. Eye remember you well."
The Emerald Empress is nice enough to narrate parts of this issue so we get enough back story to fill in the gaps. We've stuck to the old continuity from Volume 3 - Sarya of Venegar surrendered the power and the Eye slept until it was found by this new person. Since there is no Queen on Orando, she's taken over. And we get this concerning line: "Eye shall pay my debts to the Queen who allowed Sarya to die... and to all her little friends as well."
Lightning Lass wakes up in some sort of prison, surprised that Orando is so disgusting. I may be crazy, but I think she's dressed exactly the same as when Lightning Lord and the LSV had her in prison on Orando back in Volume 3. She and Vi break out and are met by a bunch of hammer-wielding guards. They speak Interlac, which surprises them. A quick lightning blast takes them out and the pair are soon outside.
They fight their way into the castle, wanting to get their costumes and Flight Rings back, and are greeted by the new Emerald Empress, who blasts them down and then invites them to join her to see the new version of Orando.
As they walk through the city, the Legionnaires are shocked by the fact the Empress is corrupting the planet. The Empress decides to let Violet live after counting the pedals on a flower. Then she reveals a pit full of people who all look like they're covered in a green-colored mold.
Violet calls her insane, which is never a good idea, and the Empress takes off her glove to reveal that she's wearing a Flight Ring. She's going to call in more Legionnaires to play with.
This is one of those moments where I wish this was part one or a five-part story so we could get more depth to this encounter and really flesh out the new Empress. I want to see what else she's done on Orando. I want to see more of her motivations - wouldn't it be fascinating if she was attempting to tear down Orando's feudal structures because they caused her so much pain?
To Metropolis we go, and a tour "bus" is hovering near the Legion HQ and over Weisinger Plaza. I'm sad it wasn't Oli-3 Queen, but we can only be so lucky, right? It's a huge residential area now and we get a nice full page spread showing a different version of 31st Century Metropolis.
Sun Boy is in a V.R. room, playing at being a soldier, when he's interrupted by Gates with news of Ayla's and Salu's crash. He's surprised they're on Orando, which is when Sensor Girl gets involved. She scans her planet and is surprised that there's an energy powerful enough to give her illusions about her home world.
She gets Gates to teleport her to Orando and, after sending their coordinates to Cosmic Boy, the trio "Pop" away. If I remember correctly, Orando is in a completely different dimension, so kudos to Gates on the increased powers.
They pop into the Empress' bedroom as she tries to find something to wear for an execution. Violet and Ayla are on the floor, beaten down, when the other Legionnaires arrive. The trio is nice enough to provide some more recap to let us know what happened in LSH #58 (1989). Gates only recognizes the Empress from some data files he reviewed. I was going to make a snarky comment but since he only joined the team during Legion of 3 Worlds, this makes sense.
Unless my math is wrong, this means Gates and XS are at least ten years younger than most of the Legionnaires, right?
The Empress strikes first but Sun Boy gives it right back to her, blasting her with fire. She tells Dirk, "Eye see your power Earth man -- but Eye also see the meanness in your soul." Wow - I guess the creative team still dislikes him...
The fight continues and, after Jeckie shows the Empress her past, she talks about how she defeated the Eye before and can do it again.
Elsewhere, Gates teleports the damper collar off Lightning Lass (no idea where that came from or how the Eye could do it) and Ayla shoulder checks the villain. As she charges up, the Empress releases a huge blast of green energy.
In true modern Legion fashion, we get two panels that just kinda ruin everything. First, Vi says (and yes, the word balloon is pointing to the wrong person) "Then get her attention. Vi and I were working on a plan while we were captive." They rush off after not explaining the plan to anyone. And they don't have their Flight Rings to communicate their ideas.
Second, Sensor Girl and Sun Boy fly off to the rescue, leaving Gates behind to say that they could just leave. Followed by Sun Boy saying, "That's not how we do it in this Legion..." And yes, it was bold in the comic. Really? We're taking shots at the reboot Legion? Was there ever a moment in the reboot when they didn't act like heroes? Was there any reason for this?
Back on Earth, Cosmic Boy tries to figure out who can help and we get another complaint about the team being outnumbered. I can think of a number of Legionnaires who haven't done much during this run... Dream Girl enters, looking stunned and shaken, and tells Rokk that they're going to be too late. Too late for what?
Sensor Girl and Sun Boy face the Empress as the two women argue about whether Jeckie was a good leader of Orando. I'd argue no, because the Empress has been ruining her planet for about a year. We also get a close up of Sensor Girl's horrible mask/tiara combo again. Whoever designed this needs to be smacked.
Vi and Ayla make their way to the Empress and are immediately blasted by the walls of the castle. Great plan, junior.
The Empress tells them that "Eye am power." and blasts everyone with a massive amount of green energy. Sun Boy is shocked - it feels like the entire planet shook. Sensor Girl decides that this new person being controlled by the Eye is far more evil than Sarya was. Hmmm... I remember the end of Volume 3. Sarya was pretty nasty before she gave up her power. The murder of Mentalla proves my point.
But wait, Violet's okay. Ayla is, once again, knocked out. But it's time for the plan to begin - Vi shrinks down and enters the Eye, moving between the molecules.
Once within the Eye, she realizes that everything there is scientifically impossible. It's a recreation of what the Empress has done to Orando. Vi starts hallucinating, seeing the origins of the Eye. We watch as the Eye was built in a temple and then destroyed everything and everyone it came in contact with. I so wish they had shown when the Eye was part of the L.E.G.I.O.N.
She shrinks even more, becoming as small as the energy within, and then starts to grow.
This causes huge problems for the Eye and everything on Orando starts to go crazy. Sensor Girl grabs the Empress (who's lost her powers), Gates grabs Lightning Lass, Sun Boy burns everything dangerous, and Violet emerges from the shattered Eye.
The power is gone and Falyce has reverted to normal. Ayla, suddenly awake again, rushes to Vi, who's really injured and weak.
The Eye re-forms and flies away, looking for a new host. Sensor Girl swears to help Falyce recover and she says she owes her "weregild." No idea what that means...
Much later, Sensor Girl tells them that she's going to stay on Orando for a while and help the planet recover. Vi and Ayla are going home - Gates is going to teleport them back.
And, because we have to end with a subplot, Vi now has a interesting green flash in her left eye... that can't be good, right?
The next four pages of this annual is a fun retelling of Legion history in the form of a board game. Basically, it the entire OG timeline, going right up to the end of Volume 3 with absolutely no changes and then they jump forward to the new stories.
Here are a few things that don't make any sense:
- How did Karate Kid come back during the Lightning Saga? Did Karate Kid come back? They don't reference that story in the retelling - does this also mean Countdown didn't happen?
- How did Mon-El recover from the battle with The Time Trapper?
- Did anyone else know that he and Shadow Lass still got married in this time line? Have they mentioned it at all? Or that they're divorced? Does this mean she's still missing a finger and they've ignored that?
Next, we get "Interlac A-Z," which is great. Well, aside from the fact that this is the second time they reference Validus killing Invisible Kid in these back pages. Poor Lyle.
Let's start with the positives of this book:
- Keith Giffen is Jack Kirbying to the best of his abilities and I really enjoyed it. Some of the pages are just stunning and, as I've said many, many times before, Giffen's one of the best ever at laying out a page so this is an easy read.
- Love seeing the return of The Emerald Empress. She's one of the best Legion villains of all time and Levitz elevated her during his second run. Bringing the Eye back and connecting it with a new Empress was great to see.
- I really love that they're not hiding the Ayla/Vi relationship any more. Yes, I could nitpick and demand more signs of affection, but this is leagues better than what happened before.
- Gates! Gates finally did something in a Legion comic!
And, of course, the negatives:
- So you bring back The Empress, make her more dangerous than the previous one, and take away her powers at the end of the book? What was the point?
- Also, we have yet another moment where we're sympathetic to The Empress because of her horrible origin story. She's beaten, burned, and sexually assaulted and then connects with the Eye. Anything she does to the horribly oppressive system on Orando can be kinda justified, yes?
- And speaking of Orando, could this story make Projectra look worse? She's Queen, but hasn't been back in a year. The Emerald Empress was able to take over and she never noticed. Plus, the aforementioned oppressive and sexist regime was happening under her watch. Does this mean she's okay with women being sex slaves for rich guys? And when did Orando have aliens move onto their planet?
- We get more references to the Legion being overwhelmed and undermanned so the best solution is to have Sensor Girl quit for a while - this makes no sense unless we're gearing up for another mass influx of new Legionnaires.
I started off really wanting to love this book, and came in with high hopes and big expectations. I also tried to be as positive as I could. But with each head-scratching moment, I found myself losing my zen. It's still better than most of the series, but could've been so much better.
Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 6) #9
I know that I'm confused a lot reading this series, so the latest thing I can't wrap my head around should come as no surprise.
You get two covers with the above design to show off a variety of Legionnaires. Adventure Comics #522 featured the following female Legionnaires: Phantom Girl, Saturn Girl (not on the team anymore), Shadow Lass, Dawnstar, and Lightning Lass. So it would make sense to focus on the guys this issue, right?
Nope. Saturn Girl and Dawnstar are back... along with Sensor Girl (who's also left the team). They've also added another ex-member in Lightning Lad. Why? Why not focus on the guys? Why not bring use characters that are currently members?
The only positive that I can get from this is that it confirms my theory that Dawnstar is one of the most popular Legionnaires. Right?
This issue, titled "One Last Durlan," was written by Paul Levitz, pencilled by Yildiray Cinar, and inked by Wayne Faucher. Is it rude to hope that this is the last killer Durlan story?
Speaking of Durlans, Chameleon Boy and Brainiac 5 have just arrived on Durla (more specifically, the R.J. Brande Memorial Starport) and are facing a less than friendly group. They're not happy Cham is not in his natural form (with a cloak and tentacles) and tear off his uniform.
Cham turns into a dragon and states that he's the "eggson of Brande." He tells them that getting revenge on the United Planets won't help Durla and that they weren't responsible for Brande's death.
He also "regrows" his uniform. So does that mean the Durlans literally ripped off part of his body? Wouldn't that hurt? Can Durlans just lose parts of themselves with no effect?
Brainy, with his usual charm, demands they tell them about the group of Durlans who've gone to seek revenge and then insults their planet.
A quick aside... sorry, because I know I've ranted about this numerous times. Writing Brainiac 5 as a jerk is just lazy writing and, honestly, shows a complete misunderstanding of how a 12th-level intellect would behave. Are you telling me that someone this smart wouldn't understand diplomacy? Or tact? Or psychology? Would someone this smart not see the value in everyone's knowledge and experience that's different from themselves?
They're writing Brainy as the worst sufferer of Dunning-Kruger. He's constantly acting like an idiot who thinks he's smart.
Aside over...
The Durlans bring Cham to the Speaker but leave Brainy at the starport... after threatening him if he insults Durla again.
To U.P. headquarters on Earth we go, where Timber Wolf and Tyroc are on guard duty. We get one-and-a-half pages recapping everything and showing how the pair have used their powers to stop the Durlan assassins. We also learn that yes, Brande's secretary Pheebs was murdered last issue and, yes, Dream Girl responded to that horror with a joke about how incompetent the male Legionnaires are. Yes, that happened.
There's a "Pop" and Gates has arrived. Timber Wolf is not happy to see him but Gates will teleport them anywhere a Durlan attack occurs. I have no idea why Brin would have a problem with Gates, but, after the Annual, I get the sense that Levitz is writing Gates as the most hated Legionnaire on the team.
And then R.J. Brande arrives.
Back at Legion HQ, Colossal Boy and S.P. Chief Gigi Cusimano are chatting about what's going on and she requests Dawnstar's help, once she wakes up. She's not pleased when he tells her they need Dawnstar to track down the blue energy that blasted her. I'm a little confused - when did Gim have any power to do any of this? Is he acting leader since the current Legion leader, Mon-El, is on the other side of the galaxy being the worst Green Lantern ever?
We get a page of Brainiac 5 thinking about the clues he has access to - the radiation on Durla makes it impossible to get anything new from Earth. Things are confusing, even for him, so I'm going to stick with my Dunning-Kruger theory...
Cham and the Speaker talk about what's been going on - to no surprise, the Speaker doesn't like Cham very much. We get a couple of big reveals - Pheebs was actually a Durlan as well (but didn't change) and he chose the Durlans who would end up being the assassins. He was working on something called the "Long Plan" and gave them all tons of money to achieve the goal.
On Medicus-One, Gigi shows off her compassion by telling the recovering and comatose Dawnstar that she can't die because she has to find Chief Zendak (who was murdered, in case you forgot). Tellus offers to enter Dawnstar's mind and use her powers while she sleeps.
Someone pointed out that Tellus has hands in this continuity and now I can't stop staring at them and shaking my head. What a weird choice for the artist... again, did no one in editorial know anything about these characters?
Tellus emerges from Dawnstar's mind and tells Gigi: "If he lives, Chief Cusimano, it is in a place beyond Dawnstar's ability to find him... and I no longer believe there is any such place."
Back at the U.P. building, Tyroc figures out that it's a Durlan fake - this one isn't using the fake theatrical voice Brande started using a couple of years ago. Yeah - duh - they all saw Brande die. Wouldn't this just be the automatic assumption? A giant orange dragon appears and I'm assuming that's what used to be Brande since they don't show a change at all. And we're fighting again.
It's also somehow able to grab two of the councillors (didn't show that either) but, luckily for them, Timber Wolf is immediately to the rescue. So let's place bets first - is this a weak Durlan who Dream Girl was able to knock out with one kick, or a tough Durlan that beat up both Colossal Boy and Earth-Man?
It takes a full Tyroc blast, so I'm guessing the second one. But before Timber Wolf can use the Brainy-invented Cancellite that stops Durlans from using their powers, the assassin shrinks down to microscopic size and is gone. They didn't kill anyone, so it's kind of a success, right?
Another aside - it was Supergirl who invented Cancellite in the OG continuity, and I kinda wish they kept it that way. After all, according to the Fall of New Krypton, Supergirl was a member of the Legion, Brainy did fall in love with her, and it would be a nice connection to current day DC Comics.
Oh, and by the way, if the Durlans can go microscopic, why don't they go into a councillor's bloodstream, stop their heart, and fly away with no one the wiser?
Back on Durla, Brainy interrupts everything by letting Cham know that he's figured it out. He just needed to follow the money. The suspect: Cham's aunt.
No Earth-Man in either issue, so that's a net positive for this week.
My new question for the week is this: why are these books so intensely connected to certain bits of continuity but willing to toss out other bits? For example, everything shown on Durla makes reference to the Volume 2 stories where Brande and Cham go back so he can get his powers back. But, at the same time, Levitz introduces language we've never seen before: Eggson and Eggfather. I get the need to make changes, but why not make more?
Also, if you were taking a drink every time there was a mistake in one of these books, you might enjoy the books more.
Have a great week and we'll see you next week with more Legion excitement!
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