Timber Wolf infects hundreds of people and the Legion faces off against the Dominion! I read Legion of Super-Heroes (volume 7) #3 & Legion Lost (volume 2) #3 so you don't have to!

Legion of Super-Heroes (Volume 7) #3

Yay! Another Chris Sprouse cover! Any chance he could provide some artwork for the new Legion series?

Anyway, the quick recap is that the Dominators are attacking the Legion. Do you need anything else?

Welcome to "Shadow War," which I'm going to assume will involve Shadow Lass heavily... right? right?, and it's written by Paul Levitz with art by Francis Portela.

Right off the bat, we've got the two things that have been annoying me this whole series. First, dialogue that doesn't make sense:

Chameleon Boy: "Renegade doesn't appear to be bluffing -- I've never heard of the Dominators sending a fleet so close to United Planets' territory..."

Who's "Renegade"? Is this a proper noun and a person's name? Is Cham starting to talk like R.J. Brande, using broken Interlac? Is this another name for Res-Vir, the Daxamite who's taken over Panoptes and the U.P. armed garrison there that's supposed to be watching the Dominators but is, in fact, working with them? If it is his name, did I completely miss this last issue or is my memory even worse than I thought?

My second annoyance is badly-colored artwork where there is no shading so we have no depth of field and everyone looks "off."

 

Look, I hate Chemical Kid as much as the next person, but even I don't want him drawn this badly.

Since the team is not sure if the Dominators are attacking or bluffing, Phantom Girl flies up to talk to them. They immediately start firing, doing absolutely no damage, and we know a battle is coming. Now that's a nice way to use Tinya and we get to see a bit of her personality.

We move onboard the Dominator ship where the commander is making the decisions (I'm guessing by the size of the disc) and they're talking about whether they want to face off against the Legion. They've been instructed to take over the planet, and since they only see Phantom Girl, Chameleon Boy, Dragonwing, and Chemical Kid, they figure it's safe.

First plot question - if they've already got Res-Vir running everything, why invade? Who not just secretly take over? If Panoptes isn't actually part of the U.P., and they just made it clear it's not, why do this the hard way?

I'm also wondering why they didn't spot Ultra Boy and Mon-El, but why ruin this story with logic, right?

Back in the Time Lab at Legion HQ, Brainiac 5 is experimenting on Glorith, trying to figure out if they can use her powers to travel through time. She worries that it might be dangerous and Brainy points out that of course it is. Stuff blows up but he gets the data he wants. And she was perfectly safe, protected by his force shield belt. You know, this might be the first time Brainy's been written like a normal character in a while, so I'm going to enjoy it.

The Dominator attack continues and it's Cham to the rescue, protecting the two new recruits. He wonders if they skipped Night Girl's evasive-action training class and now I'm wondering why they're Legionnaires in the first place.

Phantom Girl sneaks onto a ship and, using Brainy's training on the Dominator's power supply, is able to blow up one of them. So last issue, she used a rock to shut down tech... this issue, she phases herself into the system and causes it to malfunction. Is it too much to just use her consistently?

We head to Daxam, where four Legionnaires have just arrived to figure out why there's a rogue Daxamite working with the Dominators. Cosmic Boy can't help but mansplain things to Lightning Lass while she lands the ship and Shrinking Violet figures that those are old leadership habits that don't go away. Wow - what a horrible way to view misogyny. Invisible Kid is there to say "Mam'selle." Seriously... can he do something other than stand in the background and say the occasional French word?

We get a page of the Daxam leader greeting the Legionnaires and providing us background info (injured Legionnaires healing there and Darkseid taking over) before Rokk gets to the point. What's going on with "Res-Vir, who calls himself The Renegade?" Okay, so we've answered my questions from the first page, but, again, how did I miss this last issue? Did I?

Speaking of "Renegade" (and that's now his title in the captions), he's fighting Mon-El and Ultra Boy, who is struggling to keep switching back and forth between strength and invulnerability. We get more fighting between the Daxamites and more property damage.

Luckily, more Legionnaires have arrived: Polar Boy, Shadow Lass, Element Lad, Sun Boy, and Comet Queen. Shady makes everything go dark so Mon-El is able to punch Res-Vir. Element Lad sends the other three away, promising to figure out villain out. What's there to figure out? He's a Daxamite. Yes, he's got the anti-lead serum, but it can't be that hard to figure out how to stop someone with such a critical weakness.

Speaking of Daxam, we've gone to the S.P. post and, once again, we're writing the officers as incompetent buffoons. Res-Vir was a student who was off-world for his studies. And they can't find a trace of him on the planet... which makes sense, of course, because he's on Panoptes... and, as they just said, he went off-world. He was also taking classes with off-world instructors, so I'm just going assume this is part of the big Dominator plot and the "instructors" were in on this.

Above Panoptes, the Legionnaires are destroying a ton of Dominator ships. Sun Boy is setting them on fire, Phantom Girl blowing them up, and Polar Boy freezing them. I'm just going to assume we're ignoring the "no killing" rule at this point.

On the command ship, they're already given the retreat order and they've got some sort of answer ready for the Legionnaires. They're hoping our heroes will follow them "to their doom." Oh, and somehow Cham has snuck onto the ship and is on the command deck. And to make things more confusing, they've just drawn him as himself, standing behind the Dominator he's pretending to be. Again, if there had been some sort of color gradient, or shading, to let you know that he wasn't actually there...

Back to the battle with Res-Vir and instead of doing anything, Element Lad is talking to Brainiac 5 while Shady casts shadows. He's trying to figure out exactly what element to change into lead so he doesn't kill our villain. Yep, one of the most powerful Legionnaires is completely useless because he doesn't want to accidentally kill Res-Vir. None of the Legionnaires above seem to have these worries...

Shady's pushed herself to the limits and actually collapses... which is very unexpected, to be honest. Just as the darkness falls, and Element Lad starts using his powers, it's revealed that Mon-El took care of everything and has Res-Vir under control. Mon says, "Let's just say I'm a little more used to action in shadow..."

And Brainy is smart enough to not comment on that.

Wow... I'm kinda speechless here. I enjoyed that one. And for the first time in a long time, this actually felt like a Legion book. No one was being a jerk to anyone else, they were working together against a threat, there was good character moments that fit the Legionnaires, and the story made sense. Yes, I'm just as surprised as you are.

Is the story perfect? Nope. Are there holes a truck can drive through? Yes. But it's a big improvement on most of the other Legion comics I've been reading. 

Now if they could only fix the artwork. 

 

Legion Lost (Volume 2) #3

Ok, let's see if we can go two for two here...

"Red Rage" is written by Fabian Nicieza with art by Pete Woods.

We're still in Red Lake Falls, Minnesota, which is, much to my surprise, a real place. It's got a population around 1,400 at the time of publishing, so I'm just gonna go ahead and say that they'd notice a bunch of Legionnaires... and people becoming Hypertaxis.

We begin as Tellus lets us know that people are changing dramatically throughout the town. People are starting to panic and there's a nameless woman who's ready to send in a case study team... What? There's a huge fight with an alien, more aliens are spotted, many people die and more are infected by something, and it's not big enough for a matching response? Ugh...

Timber Wolf reveals himself as the narrator for this issue as I'm guessing Tellus is too busy telepathically spying on everyone within a 20-mile radius. And linking the five Legionnaires remaining, these two plus Wildfire, Dawnstar, and Tyroc, telepathically.

Surprise, surprise, Brin's angry. Not as angry as Tellus must be, trying his best to put his fish-like body into some sort of meditative pose like a monk. He's also no longer wearing a mask that's full of the liquid methane that allows him to breathe in this world. It's just two disconnected pieces of glass over his eyes and chin. Honestly, did no one working on this book read volume 3 to learn even the slightest bit about Tellus?

As the team, minus Dawnstar, sits in the motel room they've turned into their HQ, they're nice enough, once again, to recap everything that's happened before. And, once again, we're either ignoring what happened in the last two issues or just coming up with a new plot line altogether.

Whereas last issue they were looking for the people who were starting to turn into Hypertaxis beings that are merged with other alien life forms, this issue they're searching for Alastor, the other being from the future who set off the pathogen that caused all of these problems. And also completely blew up, destroying the Time Bubble and trapping the Legionnaires in the past.

Tyroc is very kind to us by explaining how Alastor would've survived blowing himself up - after all, he was mutating as well so he could've survived anything, right? Yep, way to make that huge leap of logic with no evidence. 

Wildfire and Tyroc are also working on whatever tech survived the explosion, trying to get something working that might help them. I guess when Drake spent all last issue complaining that none of them were scientists and couldn't do anything, even thought they had already repaired the Time Bubble, it was just... bluster??

They argue for a bit and Timber Wolf wants to get outside and get some help. I actually think it would make complete sense for he and Tyroc to either reach out to the super-heroes of the era or start helping and try to contain the people changing, but what do I know? According to both Tyroc and Wildfire, since they have the contagion on themselves, they could unwittingly contaminate, say, Superman just by touching him.

Of course, doesn't that mean that every time any of them fly, they could be spreading the contagion to an even bigger group of people? Or to the motel employee who comes to the door only to be mind controlled by Tellus?

Where is Dawnstar, you may ask? She's flying in the Exosphere, searching for Scanlon, the human who already converted to living energy last issue. She's spotted by the military, who just flag it for something called "Metacontrol," and then Tellus tells her it's time to return.

Here's a crazy thought for Dawnstar and Wildfire... the Exosphere is, depending on the readings, either near absolute zero or near 2000 degrees Celsius. Would that be extreme enough to kill the pathogen? Could they fly through there, kill any pathogen stuck to them, and then ask for help? Or is it now inside Dawnstar and she's a carrier? And if she's a carrier, and the other Legionnaires are as well, why are they not quarantining themselves along with everyone else in the town?

Because this book just continues to fight against all logic and sense, Timber Wolf has gone off to find out who or what is killing people in Detroit Lakes. He breaks into the police station, enters the morgue, licks the remains (seriously!) to confirm what he smelled, and then reads the report. Everything about this scene is wrong, from Brin having a clue where to go or what to do in a police station, to needing to lick to confirm what he smelled, to him being able to read English.

He then steals a car (no idea how he can drive) and continues hunting after this creature. Tyroc calls him on the phone... and Brin answers while he's driving... even though there's never been any sign that he has a phone or that he or Tyroc know the other person's number (take a deep breath because this will all be over soon). Timber Wolf smelled, and I guess tasted, Durlan DNA on the corpse. This killer is going after the Earthlings who are transforming.

Tyroc continues to resist doing anything, but Wildfire has changed his mind. After all, if they're going to live in this time, they have to figure out how they're going to live. And "...how to live with ourselves..."

As Timber Wolf drives, learning quickly how to operate a car, he hears a report over the police radio. There's a winged alien or metahuman at the Great Mall of Fargo. And yes, Brin automatically knows what and where that is. I'm getting to the point where I'm somewhat convinced that Nicieza forgets they're trapped in the past for most of the story.

I know that I'm just digging for more problems, but Brin's already travelled 80 miles from Red Lake Falls to Detroit Lakes (by foot, I think) and is driving 45 miles to Fargo, so we're getting a nice tour of the area. We're also spreading the pathogen everywhere, so at some point the Legionnaires should just give up and accept that if they don't find a cure, everyone's going to change. At this rate, all of North Dakota and Minnesota will be infected in 48 hours.

Brin drives the car through the front doors of the mall and attacks the two creatures fighting inside. One of them, the Hypertaxis, is an Anaxian and a peaceful one. The other is an Okaaran Rdrayyj and very violent. It also likes sucking the marrow out of its victim's bones.

Timber Wolf uses his brains and figures out that the Rdrayyj isn't after Hypersapiens, it's after creatures with Durlan DNA. Which is what the Anaxian has. As the police move in, guns drawn, Brin tells them to back off and then orders the attacker to stop trying to kill the Durlan/Anaxian. Anyone else remember that good old days when Legionnaires couldn't talk to people in the 21st Century because they don't speak English?

The contagion has affected Brin as well... so he shoots claws from out of his fingertips. And new claws immediately start to regenerate. I got the sense that Nicieza wanted to be writing X-Men again, but I didn't think he'd go this far. They may as well just start calling him Logan.

Anyway, the Rdrayyj starts shape changing and if you guessed that it was actually Chameleon Girl, trying to come back to life, you'd be correct.

Oh, and I guess I should mention that this whole thing has been broadcast on TV, so the Legion's secret is out.

The nicest thing I can say about this issue is that Woods' artwork looks great and it's a shame his hard work is being wasted on such a horrible story.

Only 13 issues to go...