We wrap up Mon-El's story incredibly quickly and Brainiac 5 looks like an idiot again. We look at Action Comics #889 & Adventure Comics #11

Action Comics #889

Does anyone else remember what had been happening in the last issue of Action Comics? It seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it?

If my memory is correct, and it often isn't, the reborn Kryptonian god Rao is ravaging through Pakistan and is about to cause a nuclear war. The JSA is trying their best to stop it. Flamebird is fighting to stop someone who wants to date her... I think...

And Nightwing has just wrapped himself in demon clothing while stuck in the Phantom Zone. He and his new demon friend emerged to save the day, disarming all the nukes. But looked fairly evil while doing it.

Oh, and Lois Lane is somehow smack in the middle of everything.

Okay, this is tied into the Last Stand of New Krypton with the flimsiest of strands, but let's wrap this up so no one can say I didn't get through the entire saga.

This issue is brought to you by writers Greg Rucka & Eric Trautmann, penciller Pere Perez, and inker Bit.

We begin in the Daily Planet, where Lois Lane's coverage is being streamed through their blog. We also learn that Lane doesn't actually work for the Daily Planet anymore, but Perry White states that she's always been an employee.

On an aside, at what point did they stop showing White smoking a cigar inside the building? This is 2010 and, by smoking his stogie, I'm assuming he's violating numerous statutes and codes. Not to mention facing numerous HR complaints.

To the battle we go, where the JSA is fighting Rao and Flamebird is fighting someone who looks like he was almost the design for the Creature from the Black Lagoon. Google that, if you have no idea what I'm referring to.

Rao's mass keeps increasing and Mr. Terrific lets everyone know that once he hits the tipping point, Rao will collapse into a singularity and destroy the entire planet. You know what I miss? I miss comics where, if the heroes failed, the result wasn't a planet-wide disaster. Remember when the worst that would happen was a bank robbery... or a hijacking?

Crystals start appearing out of the ground, matching the crystals that are all over Rao's body. One of them pierces the Flash's leg, causing him to collapse in pain. So the crystals are growing at super speed, check. That means anyone in the wrong place is dead, right?

As one crystal is about to collapse on the Flash and the soldier who came to his aid, Nightwing appears and keeps it off the ground.

Lois appears again and starts talking to her adoptive son, Nightwing, and we learn that he is being controlled by two personalities - the Kryptonian demon and the Kryptonian person.

The battle continues as Rao keeps sliding underground and getting heavier and heavier. We get a countdown until everything collapses. We get Dr. Fate ready to stop the chaos - he figures out it's focused within Rao's heart, so that's their target.

Nightwing and Flamebird fly into Rao's chest and discover that the heart is actually a collapsing star, all part of the villain's, Vohc's, evil plan. It's a suicide plan. Unfortunately, the JSA is unable to stop Vohc and he gets into the chest as well.

We get another battle, another bunch of speeches about how death and rebirth are wastes of time and oblivion is the answer. I get that I've missed a ton of back story here, so I'm just going to enjoy the really nice artwork and forget about comprehending a lot of the depth.

Flamebird burns the alien exoskeleton off of Vohc, revealing his true self again. Unprotected, Vohc burns up in the heat of the collapsing sun.

Then our heroes start shrinking the sun down to nothing. Nightwing absorbs it into his chest and Rao dies, collapsing and breaking into pieces.

The Kryptonians emerge from the dust, carrying Vohc's body, and talk about how they always had the ability to succeed. They just needed to find each other again.

And then they kiss. And turn back to normal. And fly away, knowing that Kryptonians are the enemies of Earth.

The cleanup crew starts in on what's left of Rao and, surprise, surprise, Lex Luthor is there to help. He's got plans for Rao, after all.

Maybe I'm just in a better mood today, but I think this third chapter was the best of the story. Or maybe it's because it didn't feel as rushed as last issue. I dunno.

But I still have tons of questions about everything going on, so I'm not sure this was as successful as the writers would've wanted. 

There's also a Captain Atom backup with a huge Legion of Super-Heroes reveal! Written by James Robinson with art by Cafu.

Aggaro, who is one of Captain Atom's allies on Sorcerer's World, is actually...

Mordru!

Man, I guess I should've paid attention to this.

Mordru wanted Sorcerer's World freed from an evil tyrant and promises that he just wants to make it happy now that he's taking over. He sends Zatara back to Earth, and says that he's going to make Mirabai (the villain they defeated) to his seraglio.

Which is a harem. Glad to know that even a kinder, gentler Mordru is still a sex offender. Geez, why even do this? Do we really need our villains to be so reprehensible that there's no coming back. Is it a good look for Captain Atom to be okay with Mirabai becoming a member of Mordru's harem?

He sends Captain Atom back to Earth, where everyone has forgiven him and forgotten whatever he did before. And now he's a hero again. Yay??

Adventure Comics #11 or 514

We get two stories in this issue, hopefully wrapping up a bunch of different things. How do we get Brainiac 5 back to the 31st Century? What happens with Brainiac? What happens with Mon-El? Will anyone cure Star Boy? Will the Legion get a ship? How do they get back to the future?

Let's see how this goes.

Our first story is written by Sterling Gates, pencilled by Travis Moore, and inked by Julio Ferreira.

The Legion, wrapped in head scarves and walking on a desolate planet, are dropping off the latest in their rescued bottled cities. Chameleon Boy stops and ponders as the city grows - R.J. Brande's will warned him that this city is more important to him than the others.

It's New Durla.

As much as Cham wants to talk to his ancestors and warn them, Sensor Girl reminds him that they're not allowed to talk to anyone. Brande's will told them this.

She tells him that they have to leave, have to continue what they're doing, as time is going to unlock and then they can go back home. That's a new twist to time travel, I think.

They also reveal why saving this city is so important - Queltop Daggle is one of the Durlans there - Cham and R.J. Brande's ancestor.

Brainiac 5 is, once again, narrating this story. He lets us know that Rimbor, Imsk, and Titan have all been saved as well. Now he has one more errand to run... I'm sure it has something to do with Brainiac, captured and shackled behind him.

There is a part of me that wants to get really snarky and point out all the story errors here. Or that these time loops, where the Legion members have to go back in time to ensure that they will exist in the future, just hurt my brain.

Instead, I'm just going to focus on how good it is to see the Legion actually saving people. No big fights. No silly crossovers. No standing around and watching others do something. Just being Legionnaires. And that's something I haven't read in a while.

We get the big showdown between Brainiac 5 and Brainiac. Somehow, all of Brainy's restraints and mindlocks don't work and we get a physical battle. Brainiac is, of course, much stronger than Brainy, so the battle doesn't go well. And even though Brainy likes to point out that he's much smarter, evidence would prove that isn't true.

Who saves Brainy? Brainiac 2 - Vril Dox. He blasts Brainiac and teleports away with him, ready to collect the Coluan bounty on the Superman villain. I'm guessing that Vril got a personality change somewhere between the original L.E.G.I.O.N. run and this issue, because he's written pretty... stupidly.

Brainy actives the Time Sphere, comfortably in the knowledge that there was nothing he needed from his ancestor. The past is the past and they have to move forward. So, basically, his whole reason for talking to Brainiac and transporting him anywhere has been rendered moot.

He heads to the future and is greeted by the Legion of Super-Heroes. Saving Superman and the bottled cities was a success.

Well that was... a nothing story. I mean, what did it serve except for, once again, making Brainiac 5 look like the weakest of all the Brainiacs? Am I the only one who actually wanted the two Brainiacs (and then 3) to actually talk over how their different? Or maybe show that Brainy isn't an idiot?

Our second story is written by James Robinson with art by Bernard Chang.

First, the Legion does have a ship. No idea where they got it, but at least someone figured out that just flying around the cosmos was a horrible idea. Also, if this ship came from the 21st Century, how can they use this for time travel? How can they access a Time Bubble? Does anyone care if anything makes sense?

Second, we begin this story with Cham piloting the ship while he reads R.J. Brande's last set of instructions... something he got after the will. Strangely enough, and this is part of the fun of time travel, it's written as if the Espionage Squad has already succeeded and Brande's proud of what they've done.

I've been wondering something for the entire run here - why would Brande wait until he's dead to fix this time loop problem? Why put it into his will? Why not send them back earlier? Also, how does he even know anything about it? Are you trying to tell me that, when Cham talked to his ancestor for 30 seconds in the first story, that was enough time to send any kind of message or let Brande know what needed to be done? Again, does anyone care in anything makes sense? 

What is Brande's final mission? Mon-El has to complete his last great task. He must, working alone, place the remaining bottled cities to their remaining worlds. The Legion can return to their own time... except for Cham, who also has one more job to do before he goes home.

I think this would completely break my brain if I was one of the members of the Espionage Squad. Just think of these convoluted and insane instructions: "You've got to go back in time and rescue all these bottled cities that were grabbed 1,000 years ago. If you don't the Legion, and the United Planets, won't form the way they're supposed to. You've also got to grab Mon-El... you know, the guy who has been a Legion member for a long time... and get him before he ever joins the team and teach him how to be a hero. Then, before the job is actually done, almost all of you can come back to the 31st Century. But don't worry, we know you actually succeed... somehow... but you can't actually help do this because... reasons..."

I think this broke the writer's brain, too.

We get a two-page spread on Mon-El, flying through space with all the bottled cities tied to his hands, as Brande's final instructions explain what happened. We've already contradicted the first story - apparently New Durla is the only city the Legion released. Everything else must be done by Mon-El.

If Mon-El fails, the future will be thrown off so badly that time travel won't exist. And the Legion won't exist. He's got to place the bottled cities on these planets so we get the following Legionnaires:

• Rimbor (Ultra Boy)
• Cargg (Triplicate Girl)
• Xanthu (Star Boy)
• Bismoll (Matter-Eater Lad)
• Imsk (Shrinking Violet)
• Phlon (Chemical Kid)
• Zoon (Timber Wolf)
• and most importantly, because it's where one of the founders comes from: Titan (Saturn Girl)

Is Chemical Kid's membership in the Legion really that important? They couldn't have picked Starhaven? Or Orando?

We go to Titan, and Mon-El is fighting Jemm, Son of Saturn. Anyone else remember that comic from the 1980s? He's now the leader of the Saturnians and I guess he's not a fan of someone showing up with a bottled city of people. Or Kryptonians... which I actually kinda understand after reading this entire story. I hate the Kryptionians, too.

They finally talk it out and Mon-El explains that he's not Kryptonian and that he's trying to save all of these bottled cities. Which bottled city does he want to leave on Titan? If you guessed the Lanothians, because they're telepaths, you win!

Jemm wonders what would happen if he refuses and the Lanothians start "talking" to him. They have accepted this story about the future, even if there's no way of proving it, and swear loyalty to Jemm. They also will give up being Lanothians and become Titanians instead.

Jemm says yes and the Titanians have arrived.

We jump to the end of Mon-El's quest and he's returned to Metropolis to talk to Jimmy Olsen. He's sick and doesn't have much time left.

But we need to wrap up another long-running plot line - it's revealed that a gorilla scientist named Calomar has a secret laboratory where he has female Daxamite as a test subject. Mon-El saves her and takes her to the Fortress of Solitude...

Where he meets up with Superboy, who has a rocket that can take someone to Daxam. Because Mon-El is a hero, he puts the woman on the ship and sends her back home. They don't really get to talk much because what's killing him is going to start making her sick... and also because we don't have a lot of space to wrap everything up.

I vaguely remember one of Mon-El's flashbacks talking about how they needed a male Daxamite for scientific experiments. Is it possible Mon-El has a Daxamite child in the 21st Century? Is this going to lead to Laurel Gand? 

Mon-El collapses and this is when Chameleon Boy arrives to complete his final task. He's got a Phantom Zone projector and offers Mon-El a chance to live and find another cure for his lead poisoning. Mon-El would rather die, but Cham convinces him that he has a bright future if he can stand another trip in the Zone.

Mon-El says goodbye to Superboy and gives him a letter to Billi Harper. Then he enters the Phantom Zone.

Thankfully, we do get the happy ending and the final page shows the Legion of Super-Heroes (a very young version) rescuing Mon-El in the future.

 

As drawn out as this story has been, I actually wish they had dragged this part out. Why couldn't they have given someone four issues to show Mon-El flying around the galaxy, fighting against the disease coming back, and tying up all the loose ends? He's been such a big character in the Superman universe for a while and the best they could do is this?

Thankfully, we're done the Last Stand of New Krypton story and I can return to just reading Legion stories... Yay!!

I'm going to rest and recharge the batteries over the holidays and will be back in 2026 (can't believe I'm typing that) with more columns, more podcasts, and more videos.

Thanks so much to everyone who reads these and, hopefully, enjoys them. Have a happy holiday season and a happy new year!