Chemical Kid is forced to do something and Lightning Lad wrecks a cruiser. We take a look at Legion Secret Origin #3 & Legion of Super-Heroes (volume 7) #4

Legion Secret Origin #3

Welcome back, everyone. I don't know if we really need a recap for this series. After all, they're basically just retelling the Legion origin story. I guess we could talk about how Brainiac 5 is being written like an eccentric idiot. Or how there's a trio called the Security Directorate who I originally thought was working behind the scenes, but now are out in the open, and originally were pro-Legion, but now seem to be anti-Legion... well, the human, Mycroft, is. The Coluan, Zarl, and the Naltorian, Anisa, seem to view them as a good thing... or a sign of the bad things to come... 

At this point, I'm just leaning back, enjoying the amazing artwork by penciller Chris Batista and inker Marc Deering, and trying to get through the confusing story by Paul Levitz. Let's take a look at this issue, called "Connections."

Onboard a U.P. military vessel, "parked" at Metropolis Starport, some of the soldiers are panicked and trying to find one of the passengers. They have guns drawn and are worried that the Admiral is going to destroy their careers.

Who are they trying to find? Phantom Girl, who's phasing through the floor and wanting to know where the Security Directorate is.

On the command deck, Brainiac 5 is chastising Admiral Allon, telling him he shouldn't have let Phantom Girl go. Allon's defense is that, since the U.P. is a democracy and controlled by civilians, he had to let her go. Brainy thinks that a meritocracy is a better form of government and before we can get into a political argument, the wormhole that we saw for the past two issues has decided to move away from Anotrom (the planet where Brainy met Phantom Girl) and expand.

Brainy recommends moving the fleet, as this change in the wormhole may mean that an invasion's coming. After all, one warrior came through last issue.

Oh, and if you're wondering how one ship in the fleet is at the starport, ostensibly to bring one person to Earth, while the rest of the ships are still close to the wormhole, this is yet another example of Allon being the worst space admiral since The Fifth Element.

The Security Directorate arrive to provide all the necessary exposition to get us up to speed. R.J. Brande is buying up starcruisers and building the Legion HQ. He's already had three attempts on his life (okay, maybe I did need more of a recap) and Anisa senses that he and his Legion are "a the nexus of a dilemna for" them. Once they've finished, Phantom Girl phases into the room, surprising them all.

She gives them all the information Bgtzl has about the alien attackers who came through the wormhole and destroyed Anotrom. Then she casually tells them that they couldn't get any more after they moved their entire planet to somewhere safer. Finally, she spots the Legion, wondering who they are...

Which switches us to an asteroid field, where Lightning Lad is piloting the latest Legion cruiser. Cosmic Boy wants him to fly a little more carefully, and Brande says that it's his job to waste his credits, not theirs. Saturn Girl lets him know that she couldn't get anything out of the assassins' minds and she doesn't think they even knew who he was. But it's time for the Legion to do something more than just act as bodyguards for Brande. 

Hmm... I wonder where Triplicate Girl is...

Back on Earth, the S.P. Chief is laying into Mycroft for everything the Legion is getting away with. Mycroft reminds him that the S.P. deputized them. We also learn that Saturn Girl was going to be an S.P. officer but joined the Legion instead. And Brande's team is looking over any S.P. officers with special abilities to see if they can get them onto the Legion.

The Chief then complains that the Legion are practically children... which is always the moment where the S.P.'s criticisms of the Legion fall apart. So they're okay with Imra joining the S.P. as a teenager and putting her life on the line... but not as a Legionnaire? So they're the right age for one group and too young for the other?

Anyway, as Anisa makes another cryptic comment wrapped in flowery language, we see that Phantom Girl (or just Phantom, as she's called by Mycroft) has joined the Legion as well.

They start watching the U.P. fleet, trying to figure out what Allon's doing. What he's doing, of course, is getting ready to face the alien ship that's coming through the wormhole. Instead of communicating, or trying to figure anything out, the fleet gets into position and starts firing the moment the ship appears.

But the blasts do nothing and Allon orders the fleet to reposition and spread out. Brainy has a suggestion, but before we find out what...

We're in the new Legion Clubhouse. Cosmic Boy is looking over holographic images of the applicants to figure out who's ready to join the team. Marla takes over looking at the cubes, and let's not draw too much attention to the fact that Brande picks up Reep Daggle's application... right?

Rokk and R.J. go for a walk down the busy streets of Metropolis. Cosmic Boy's not too sure what he's supposed to do as the first team leader, or really what the team's supposed to be doing, but Brande is certain he'll figure it out. He's certain the Legion will be awesome and, after that average-at-best pep talk, Brande leaves Rokk and says, "Multitask Help: Check if Marla gets Reep's quarantine pa--"

And yep, another assassination attempt. It's a lone gunman but Brande miraculously "trips" and the blast misses... I just hope there was no one behind him. Something unseen punches the would-be killer in the face and knocks him out.

Our next big reveal? Brande's bodyguard is Lyle Norg, Invisible Kid!

Here's my latest aside, and it's connected to the point I made in the Long Live the Legion spotlight episode on Invisible Kid. Being invisible, and on a crowded street, would be the worst place to be. How many people would walk into you at full speed?

Brainy's suggestion to the Admiral is revealed, and it's based on his research from the past two issues. These aliens use weapons that can be overloaded with energy and then will explode. So that's what they do. The fleet fires and fires until the invading ship blows up.

Wow... Brainy actually using his intellect and his studies have paid off. Shocking, I say. It's still resulting in an explosion, but that's somewhat better than usual.

As another ship enters their galaxy through the wormhole, the fleet blasts that one as well, destroying it. But it takes slightly longer this time. Which leads to this issue's cliffhanger... what's next?

Yep, that's it... just wondering what happens next issue...

I think this was the issue I enjoyed the most of this series for no other reason than we actually got to see the Legion in action. Kinda. As much as I have praised the idea of showing the Legion forming from the outside, I still think it's much better to actually see the Legion doing things instead of just standing around... or wrecking cruisers.

 

Legion of Super-Heroes (volume 7) #4

Wow... so we're just leaning into "The Renegade" as the Daxamite's name... oh, and it's Chemical Kid to the rescue? Ugh...

"Not What They Seem?" is brought to you by writer Paul Levitz, artist Francis Portela, and colorists Javier Mena and Antiago Arcas (I figure I should start calling them out as they're doing a ton of work each issue).

For your brief recap, the Legion is on Panoptes, where the Dominators invaded after they sent a Daxamite, Res-Vir (The Renegade), to lead the U.P. soldiers already stationed there and take over. I have no idea why they invaded when they were already running a secret operation to take over, but that's just par for the course here, right?

We begin with a lot of dramatic posing and Image-level musculatures. Element Lad, Dragonwing, and Chemical Kid are watching as Res-Vir strains at his Inertron restraints and eye covers. He's already causing cracks and fissures, so maybe the serum he took to protect him from lead also, as Jan posits, is boosting his strength.

Chemical Kid is worried he's going to break loose, so Jan tells him that his powers could stop the Daxamite. After Res-Vir destroys the shackles (and no one responds at all to it), Element Lad slowly explains to Hadru that he can slow down the villain's biochemical functions.

Unfortunately, our least favorite Chemical-based Legionnaire doesn't move fast enough, so it's up to Mon-El and Ultra Boy to grab him just as Res-Vir slams into the ground where he was standing. No need to protect Element Lad or Dragonwing, of course because... ummm...

Finally, Hadru's powers work and Res-Vir crashes into the ground, unconscious. So the Legion is happy, the battle is over, and I'm just confused. What was the point of that?

How did Chemical Kid go from being the most arrogant of the trainees at the Academy to this uncertain, polite, respectful person? It's as if he underwent a personality transplant between this and the previous issue. Did someone tell Levitz that everyone hated him?

We head off into space, where the Dominators continue to talk about how they will get revenge on the Legion when they follow them into Dominator space. What they don't know, of course, is that Chameleon Boy is already onboard and disguised as one of them.

Instead of staying in this form and shutting down the engines so they stay in U.P. space (by the way, they stated last issue that Panoptes isn't in U.P. space, so I have no idea what's going on, again), Cham switches into the form of a fly and immediately sets off their alarms. Oops.

Next, we're back on Daxam, where Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lass, Shrinking Violet, and Invisible Kid are investigating how a Daxamite ended up working for the Dominators. Res-Vir was taking remote courses and they wonder if the Dominators invented an anti-lead serum and started recruiting through that.

Vi doesn't trust anyone so she plans on entering but Invisible Kid (who finally gets to do something) says that they won't even notice he's there. He goes invisible and enters the facility.

Ummm... why not also send the Legionnaire who can shrink down and not be seen? Are two sets of eyes not better than one?

Invisible Kid spots what might be Kryptonite and we jump forward to when Rokk and Ayla confront the head of the school... who looks remarkably like Scotty from Star Trek. Or Basil Fawlty. He claims that he didn't know it was a restricted substance and wonders if it's connected to Res-Vir's disappearance. So no Dominators at all? The Daxamites have been using Kryptonite to create the anti-lead serum?

Back on the Dominator ship, Cham just turns back into a Dominator and commands a group of lower caste (and much shorter) soldiers to protect him and head to the engines. When did Cham learn the Dominator's language? Why are the sensors so stupid that they couldn't pinpoint the movement of the fly and sense a new Dominator appearing?

If there's one thing that's always consistent, it's that Brainiac 5 will be obsessed with something that, at this moment in the story, doesn't have anything to do with the main plots. Yep, we're continuing to seed a subplot. He can't figure out how Glorith can displace so much energy (oh come on, he's dealt with magic users before) and knows that she's breaking fundamental laws in the universe.

Dream Girl arrives to make sure Brainy's not just talking to himself and she actually makes that point - hasn't he dealt with magic before? But Glorith is different - in his words: "Glorith's demonstration of her shield defies all that my family has studied about creating force-field effects for a millennium... an astounding body of knowledge on the subject that has never been duplicated."

His light bulb moment is when he realizes she's displacing energy through time and he goes back to his work. Nura, having done her job to pose and ask a couple of questions, exits stage right. If only there was a reason she went to visit him...

Back at the Dominator fleet, they're attempting to accelerate around a star and head home when the Legion shows up. I guess Cham was able to signal for help.

Disappointingly, there's not much of a fight. Mon-El smashes into the lead ship, outlines the entire Dominator plot by telling them to stop doing what they've been doing, and orders them to head back to their own planet. Cham flies off with him and the threat is over... I guess...

Back aboard the Legion cruiser, Mon-El tells Sun Boy to head back to Panoptes to pick up the rest of them and keeps an eye on the retreating Dominator fleet himself.

For our final three panels, we get a reunion of sorts. Shadow Lass (who finally gets an ID caption) says that it's good to have Mon-El back and acting like himself. She says, "It's been a long time."

Mon-El's response: "You have no idea how long, Shady... no idea."

I'm just going to assume this is more New 52 nonsense where they're going to rewrite some elements of the past. Or it's another nonsensical subplot.

In a perfect world, however, I'd love to see Shady try to get back with Mon-El and him just say to her, "you dated Earth-Man... no chance I can get that image out of my head..."

 

This was yet another issue where too much was left unsaid and then Levitz just hand waves it all away at the end. The Daxamites had Kryptonite? Ah, that's how the Dominators were making an anti-lead serum... even though none of the other Daxamites were involved. And there was no big reveal where any of the Legionnaires discovered something big.

The most disappointing thing, of course, was there was no big fight between the Legion and the Dominators. Did we really need multiple pages of Cham wandering the hallways, not really doing anything, when we could've had more pages of Legionnaires punching Dominators? What a waste.

I'm also becoming more and more convinced that Francis Portela stared at each issue after it came out and wondered why they ruined his pencils. His work is so much better than this and yet every page just looks unreal and flawed. I'm kinda sad for him now.

Let's be positive. The latest episode of the Long Live the Legion podcast is out and we spend the entire episode talking about Star Boy with Martin Gray. Come for a discussion about Dream Girl's favorite Legionnaire and stay for a great Scottish accent!

Check it out on your podcast provider or here on Podbean.

Or on Youtube!