I can't decide which villain is dumber: the Dominators or Alastor... let's take a look at Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #12 & Legion Lost (vol 2) #12

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #12

Whew... last week was a rough one. Getting through whatever Legion Lost #11 tried to be was like slamming my head into the wall. There are very few times when I want to throw a comic against the wall, but that's where we are.

I'm also starting to picture Pete Woods, tied to his art table, begging to get a good script, and being told over and over again that he signed a contract and has to finish that horrible series.

But I digress. And it's not like LSH #11 was stellar either. Brainiac 5 and Dream Girl were captured by the Dominators. The Legion was ordered by the U.P. to not rescue anyone, so Star Boy put together a team of... let's be nice and say third stringers... to save his girlfriend (who seems to have more chemistry with Brainy). They, to no one's surprise, fail, and it's revealed that Comet Queen has betrayed the team and is working with the enemy

I'm assuming that we're going to finally get what we've needed for two issues - the Legion going in and kicking butt. (Spoiler alert, I will be disappointed)

"Cataclysm" is brought to you by writer Paul Levitz and artists Francis Portela and Tom Derenick (for all of 5 pages). I know I'm biased because I have a very nice Derenick-pencilled Wolverine pic on my wall, but I'm always glad to see his name in the credits.

We begin on the Dominators' World and I'm still not sure if I'm digging the new designs for everything. We're long past the dark, dim looks of the past, but a lot of this seems like Portela ingested something that didn't agree with him.

We're at a giant banquet table over an ocean and the Legionnaires are dinner. They're each wrapped in sparkly cables and we find out that Brainy is being saved (I think) because his genes will aid the new caste. We get some pretty cringey dialogue as the Dominator version of Jabba the Hutt waits for his dinner (I'm sure he's eager to try some Bouncing Boy).

But before the feast begins, Dream Girl escapes from the restraints and jumps into action. I'm pretty sure she deactivated the controls, which are in a backpack-like device that's directly above her hands. So the Dominators are incompetent buffoons who are bad at designing things. Or Nura is, once again, the greatest Legionnaire of all time.

Even though she is completely surrounded by many, many Dominators, she's able to give a speech and turn off Duplicate Damsel's restraints as well. Considering how easy it was for Dream Girl to escape, what's everyone else's excuse?

Luornu jumps into action and multiplies into at least 8 new people. Has anyone else ever wondered what would happen if she used her powers while chained up? Do the restraints duplicate with her or would she automatically be free?

Luornu releases Chuck, who immediately starts pinballing against the rock soldiers, and Brainy, who tells her to leave Comet Queen until they can figure out why she gassed them last issue. I'm wondering why they were even placed in these sparkly cables when they're so ineffective.

One of the main scientists (you can tell by the cool forehead disk) releases his latest creation - a hybrid Dominator and Daxamite - who, according to Otaki, is confused but "attuned to the Dominators' power." Dream Girl realizes that it's time to find Brainy's force shield belt again but Mwindaji says he can't do that right now.

Why? Because the Dom/Dax soldier slams into the table in front of him. I always hate pointing these things out, but this is a being with Daxamite powers... so Superman-like powers... how strong is Mwindaji if he can survive this?

Back to Legion HQ on Earth and we continue with another waste of a page. Cosmic Boy is still criticizing Mon-El because they're not doing anything. Mon-El is just sitting there, calmly explaining how they can't attack, and they can't see anything, but then he wonders if there's a way to show the council that the kidnappers are Dominators. Gee, wouldn't it have been nice to come up with this plan last issue?

Speaking of the Dominators, Brainy's figured out how to deal with the Dom/Dax soldier. The enemy isn't fully charged, so if Star Boy hits him with 250 Gs, they can stop him. Nura tells him that it's outside of Thom's limits, so to encourage him we get this fromage line from Nura: "If you can dream it, you can do it, Thom!"

It works, the Dom/Dax collapses on the ground, and they can send Mwindaji to find the belt. If they can hold off the entire Dominator army. I'm left trying to figure out why the belt is the priority when they're surrounded by soldiers and have no way to escape. Wouldn't Flight Rings be better?

How does Mon-El convince the U.P. that the Dominators kidnapped the Legionnaires? Sensor Girl shows up, reminding them that she's the leader of Orando and has the right to speak with the council, and then projects what's going on into the room. Instead of waiting for the U.P. to verify this, Mon-El says they're going to rescue their teammates.

I've said this before and I'll say it again - the whole reason why Sensor Girl's powers work so well is because people don't know they're illusions. So by everyone knowing she's actually Projectra, she's useless. And why would the U.P. trust someone who can create illusions? Apparently this is enough for Mon-El...

This is dumb.

Otaki has figured out that this giant structure at the end of the banquet area is what's controlling all the soldiers, so Chuck bounces a lot and knocks it over. Yep, that's all it took. One human-sized ball, probably weighing no more than 300 pounds, takes out the most important structure on the planet. Yes, I am further convinced that the Dominators are idiots.

Jabba kills the main scientist and the Legion realizes that, even with the "tree" knocked over, there are still a lot of Dominator soldiers ready to kill them.

Which is when the Legion finally arrives. Well, Mon-El and Ultra Boy. They start levelling everything they see and order the others onto the Coluan ship Thom used to get them there. Otaki is more than a little impressed by Mon's actions. I wish we got to see the entire Legion lay into the Dominators, but we're obviously not getting what we want this issue.

Back aboard the ship, the two rookies realize that they're not quite ready to be Legionnaires and the Academy sounds like the right place to be. Luornu gives the incredibly positive message of "You did well. Both of you... or you'd be dead."

And then she reminds us of the big twist: what are they going to do with an unconscious Comet Queen? No, I don't know why she's still unconscious. No, none of this makes sense. Maybe adding someone to the team who's just had her mind wiped wasn't the best choice of action.

The only real positive I can give about this issue is that, at the very least, we're getting Legionnaires working together against a cause. And we're seeing the "weaker" members show off their skills. I just wish they had spent a little time trying to make sure any part of this plot made any sense.

 

Legion Lost (vol 2) #12

Where's my tequila?

Last issue, Alastor (the villain who brought a disease back to the 21st Century, and the whole reason these Legionnaires are there as well) reappeared with a new power set. He can possess people and, by doing so, turn them into mummies. Where have I heard of this power before?

This issue, the brilliant people at DC decided that they needed to give Pete Woods a break. So instead of letting him provide the covers (which had been one of the bright spots of this series), they've handed that job to Andres Guinaldo, who seems to think that every Legionnaire is an alien. Seriously, look at both Timber Wolf's and Dawnstar's faces. They're look like rejects from a bad anime series.

Oh, and to make matters even stranger, Ron Frenz gets a "special thanks" credit on this book, which, according to the Grand Comics Database, means he did the layouts. Was Woods that far behind? Or was writer Tom DeFalco trying to give his old collaborator some work? Who knows?

"A Prophecy of Death" begins with Tellus being repeatedly pummeled by the possessed Dawnstar. Or "Pawnstar" as they wrote last issue.... shudder... Alastor can not only control Dawnstar's body, he can also get into her mind and learn her deepest secrets. He rants for a bit to the unconscious Tellus and then we get another reveal:

Dawnstar believes that Alastor was a pawn and manipulated into doing what he did. And that there's some sort of conspiracy afoot. So Alastor jumps into Tellus' body to uncover his secrets... and learns there are a bunch of them. Tellus/Alastor flies away, telepathically carrying Dawnstar, to confront the rest of the Legion. And thanks to Tellus' mind link, he already knows where Tyroc and Chameleon Girl are.

Where are they, you may ask? In the back of an armored personnel carrier, shackled with their faces are covered. Since the people who captured them, Homeland Security and a collection of horribly named "super soldiers" (sorry, shouldn't be saying that in a DC comic) are idiots, no one's in the back with the prisoners. So Tyroc easily breaks the face covering and realizes that Yera's already freed herself. 

The soldiers outside hear something and then Alastor/Tellus throws Dawnstar's unconscious body at them. Somehow Tellus developed pink eye beams and starts blasting the people below. Metamerican (yes, that's his real name) shows how bad the Legionnaires are at using their powers and drop kicks Tellus in the face. Alastor proves he's an idiot and jumps into Metamerican's body. Yep, it always makes sense to leave the flying telepath for the strong human.

He starts shooting pink eye beams as well. So this is an Alastor power, not a Tellus power. Wouldn't it have been nice to explain that or, well, anything?

Tyroc and Chameleon Girl (who has seen the Predator movies, judging by what she's turned into) burst out of the armored transport and Tellus, who's woken up, lets them know what's going on.

Yera grabs Metamerican, allowing Alastor to jump into her body. I'm somehow reminded of The Culling, when Harvest said that he brought the Legionnaires back from the future because they were so well trained and worked so well as a team. And yet here, Yera jumps into action, ignoring Tellus' warnings. It's almost as if the writer just does whatever works for the scene, ignoring if it makes sense for the characters or the book. Yes, Yera has been written as a petulant character who doesn't listen to Tyroc, but wouldn't the Legion training take over when they're going up against their biggest threat so far this series?

Alastor/Yera throws Metamerican in to the sky and he's shocked when Dawnstar rescues him. After all, why would they save him? Again, wasn't it just last issue when they gloated that they beat the Legionnaires because of their useless "concern for others"?

Back at the walk-in hospital where Timber Wolf was operated on last issue, Gates and Oz argue before Tellus saves us from this horrible supporting character and the Legionnaires teleport into action.

Back at the fight, Alastor/Yera is trying to reveal her secrets, telling everyone that she's "embraced a treacherous lifestyle" from "the beginning of her Legion career..." Metamerican orders his teammates to stand down because he's learned valuable intel about the enemy. Could it be that they're the good guys?

Timber Wolf and Gates jump into action and Gunner, the person who shot Brin two issues ago, is stunned. She says that she confirmed the kill. Well, she actually didn't... but again, when has the writer ever cared about what happened an issue or two ago?

Since Alastor has to take over everyone and reveal/not really reveal something they've been hiding, he jumps into Tyroc's body and starts talking about the prophecy. As they're saving some bystanders, Timber Wolf wonders where Wildfire has gone.

(Remember everyone - a simple key to great dramatic comics is for a character to be holding onto a secret that will change everything about them when it comes out... yes, it's overkill when everyone has one, but DeFalco doesn't seem to care)

Gates tries to stop Tyroc by himself and gets possessed. We learn that Gates has seen his own death and is convinced that his teammates die with him. That's a new one. Wow! One Legionnaire without a secret!

Then Timber Wolf is possessed and Wildfire arrives, so we get the showdown between the rivals for Dawnstar's affections. Even though Brin would have no idea why Drake's mad at him. But Alastor does because he possessed Dawnstar.

Timber Wolf easily grabs Dawnstar and threatens to kill her if Wildfire doesn't allow Alastor to possess him. After all, he's the most powerful person there. Tyroc tells him not to but Wildfire asks him what choice he has - he's not going to let someone kill Dawnstar.

Alastor makes physical contact with Drake, which we're now learning he has to do to switch bodies, and immediately realizes something is wrong. Wildfire takes off into the sky and reveals the big plan.

When Alastor was in each of the Legionnaires, they were also learning about him. Why no, this makes no sense, does it? And somehow they were able to learn that he needs an organic host, which leads me to wonder when Alastor tried to take over a non-organic host. Or how he would know that if he's just developed these powers.

Also, if he knew he needed an organic host, and this is something every Legionnaire learned when he possessed them, why would he ever want to take over Wildfire's body? He'd know that Drake is pure energy because he would've learned it from every other Legionnaire. You would think someone would've caught this in the plotting stage, right?

Wildfire flies to the sun while Alastor begs for his life - he says that he's the only one who can fix Wildfire's suit. Drake refuses and, as they fly near the surface of the sun, Alastor's essence "falls" out of the suit. Why not, I have no idea why. And no, I have no idea how it stayed in his suit for the entire flight to the Sun, which would take a decently-long time. And if he needed an organic host, why would he be connected to Wildfire at all? Why wouldn't he just revert to his human form?

It looks like Alastor is dead... so does this not go against the Legion's rule against murder? Wildfire did kill him, right?

We get a final showdown with the soldiers, but Metamerican orders his team to stand down. When he was possessed by Alastor, he learned a lot about the Legion and realized that they're not the villains. So Gates teleports them away, claiming to be heading to Kyrgyzstan.

No, they're still in New York, because I don't think DeFalco is able to write a book that takes place anywhere else. They stand on a gargoyle, enjoy the sunset, and I can't believe Wildfire is still in his all-white suit.

Okay, the star is yellow. But still...

I guess the nicest thing I can say about this issue is that I didn't want to throw it against the wall. But considering they're promising more information about Echo next issue, I reserve the right to do it later. 

Four issues to go...

 

It's very strange knowing this is the end of the first year of the New 52. If memory serves, most of these books are not received well by fans and DC is scrambling. Yes, there are some titles that are really good (Court of Owls comes to mind), but for the most part, DC didn't just fumble the ball here, they deflated it and lay down on the field and started crying.

Legion Lost is the best example of this. In this most recent issue, they have completely ended the story that got them to the 21st Century. They mutated the virus so it's no longer a threat and completely ignored every change that occurred because of it. For example, Timber Wolf no longer has his claws. Alastor is now dead (at least I'm assuming that considering he burned up in the sun). And DeFalco has introduced multiple new elements to show that the Legion's displaced in time for far more reasons than were shown in issue one. Not good elements, mind you, but elements.

If you were reading New 52 at the time, what were your thoughts? Did this restart work for you in Legion Lost? Were you happy with what Levitz was doing in LSH? Were there other books you liked? Hated? Please share in the comments here or on Reddit and we'll see you next week for the 0 issues.

Oh, and if you haven't already planned to pick up the new Legion of Super-Heroes #1 on Wednesday, why not?