We go back to the future and the worse rescue team ever heads into Domination space... let's take a look at Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #10 & Legion Lost (vol 2) #10

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #10

I hope everyone pre-ordered Legion of Super-Heroes #1 from your local comic shop. If you didn't, why not?

"Choices" is written by Paul Levitz, pencilled by Francis Portela & Andres Guinaldo, and inked by Dan Green and Portela. I'm assuming we're going to get a dramatic shift in art styles for no other reason than they've let us know who did which pages in the credits. No trusting us to be able to figure it out, right?

We're in Metropolis and Cosmic Boy is nearing some weird building... the Dominators' embassy. What? The Dominators have an actual embassy on Earth? Does that make any sense whatsoever?

Rokk causes a huge spike in power, wrecking everything around him, and then just slips inside. He's looking for evidence behind the kidnapping of Dream Girl and Brainiac 5 last issue so that the Legion can go and save them. In case you forgot, Earthgov told them not to interfere, so the still-unable-to-walk Star Boy quit the team to save Nura... and Brainy, I guess.

I'm going to assume that Rokk isn't thinking clearly. Does anyone really think that the Dominators would have kidnapping plans just lying around?

Rokk uses something called a "data-vampire" to break into the Dominators' computer network and get some info. But before he gets anything, they've rebooted the power and the security system and alarms are going off everywhere. Good thing he's wearing some weird new suit (kinda looks like what the Titans were wearing in The Culling... shudder...) that, I guess, hides him from security. Or something. I don't actually think they explain anything here.

Before he has to use his powers, Ultra Boy flies through in ultra-speed and pulls Rokk out of the building. Jo's surprised that "the great straight arrow founder" did something like this, but Rokk justifies it by saying he doesn't want anyone else to go missing.

Speaking of the missing Legionnaires, Brainy and Dream Girl are trapped in a very comfy cell. Brainy immediately notices he's missing his belt and Flight Ring, and some cells have been taken from his shoulder. Nura complains that she's "pretty gross" but it's nothing a spa couldn't cure.

She goes to sleep, trying to trigger a prophetic vision. Her final comment? "'Nite, and don't touch. You can wish me sweet dreams."

Don't touch? Is there something more here that we should be reading into this? Is this Brainy a pervert? I know the PZH Brainy was but didn't think it carried over here.

Brainy has yet another moment where he comments on her vast intellect and her vacuous nature before we switch locales and artists.

The United Planets refuses to let the Legion do anything, covert or not, until they determine whether a formal declaration of war needs to be crafted. The Legion's not happy about this at all.

A quick aside on the politics of the 21st Century. First, why would Earthgov be telling the Legion to do anything off-planet? Second, is Earthgov part of the U.P. and that's why they can make these pronouncements? Third, wouldn't the better response from the U.P. to publicly tell the Legion to do nothing and then, privately, get them to perform a rescue mission and if they can prove their teammates are there, it gives the U.P. more leverage over the Dominion? Fourth, why is the U.P. even trying to negotiate with the Dominion? The Dominators literally took over a U.P. outpost and bribed their soldiers. Fifth, why am I spending so much time trying to figure out fake politics in a comic book?

To make sure the Legion doesn't get their hands dirty, we have a new team to rescue the Legionnaires. Star Boy has recruited Duplicate Damsel, Bouncing Boy, Mwindaji, and Otaki to his team.

In case you're wondering who the heck these two new heroes are, they were the two faces Duplicate Damsel showed when she was talking about getting two new recruits for the Academy last issue. 

Mwindaji, whose real name is Gahiji, is from the planet of Kirinyaga and his super-power is long-range tracking.

Otaki, whose real name is Bina Nawoti, is from Earth and has something called "Mindsense."

Luornu and Chuck talk about how they're not Legionnaires, so they can go on this rescue mission. They also rip into Mon-El, Cosmic Boy, and Ultra Boy before they leave.

Ummm... did anyone forget that the last time the Academy got into any action, one of them died? And Chuck and Luornu were captured almost immediately?

I'm also going to point out that I really, really, really hate this plot line for no other reason than it makes the Legion look like a bunch of losers. Two of their team have been captured. Why haven't the Espionage Squad been sent on a rescue mission? Levitz has done this a couple of time now, where the U.P. are dictating what the Legion can and cannot do and I haven't been a fan of any of these story choices.

Back on the Dominator home world, Nura's just woken up in time for dinner... at least, that's what they're calling the bowl of slimy, green, bugs in front of them. We get more technobabble from Brainy until we reach yet another final panel that leaves the reader with an unanswered question - Brainy says that he discovered the Dominators have classified Legionnaires from most to least dangerous and Dream Girl wonders if she's at the very bottom of the list.

Mon-El, Cosmic Boy, and Ultra Boy sit and watch the cruiser carrying the rescue team away and talk about how they have almost no chance of succeeding. Jo mentions their secret weapon - the Legion will go and get them if they get into trouble. So then why don't they just go already and save their two actual teammates?

The very next page, Brainy has a gun and is shooting tiny Dominator creatures while Dream Girl is punching her way through the crowd. No, I don't know how that happened, but I think it's kinda fitting that Brainy would've figured out an escape plan and we don't need to see it. Unfortunately, they're quickly defeated by the overwhelming numbers of soldiers and thrown back into their cells. Well that was... disappointing... you would think Brainy would've thought of a better plan that involved stealth and intelligence, not just one where he's trying to shoot his way past millions of soldiers.

Dream Girl suddenly collapses with another vision - one of the people coming to rescue them is going to betray them! Is it bad that I'm hoping it's Star Boy just so he has something interesting to do.

Two Dominators chat about why they're keeping them alive - they want to make sure the experiments and genetic bonding is successful and if they can replicate precognition powers, that would be most excellent.

The rescue squad has made it to Panoptes and they're getting ready to head into Dominator space. Chuck's not sure about bringing kids on the mission, but Luornu figures they were just as young when they started as Legionnaires. Again, not a thought about the dead student, right?

Just as they're about to enter hostile territory, we have another member of the team: Comet Queen has arrived and is excited to be with Chuck. We learn that it was his idea to bring her - does this mean she's resigned from the Legion as well?

On the final page of the issue, we finally get to hear from Mwindaji and Otaki. He promises to find their allies as only Dawnstar is a better tracker. And Otaki trained with Doctor Aven on Titan and she's ready to help. They're going to save the team... "or fall with them."

So let's break this story down. The powerful Legion, with certain members whose powers are made for sneaking into a prison and rescuing their teammates, are doing nothing. Instead, we have a sextet made up of one who can't walk, one who bounces, one who splits into numerous identical people, the literal loudest and most chaotic Legionnaire, and two people who haven't even started their Academy training.

Yes, I'm all for showing that each Legionnaire has their strengths and are heroes. But this might be pushing that theory a little too far. If only they had someone like Shrinking Violet, or Chameleon Boy, or Invisible Kid, or anyone made for stealth and secrecy.

Artistically, I hope Portela can handle the entire issue next time. Guinaldo's style just didn't mesh and the switch between artists was pretty dramatic. 

 

 

Legion Lost (vol 2) #10

As I mentioned last week, none of the new readers who bought this book for The Culling stayed, so Legion Lost is essentially circling the drain by this point. I wonder if the creative team knew what was happening or if they were still plugging along and hoping for the best.

"No Home for Heroes" is written by Tom DeFalco with art by Pete Woods. For those of you who missed last issue, the team got their hands on a Time Bubble and are heading back to the future. Yes, if you've been reading this book, or just following along with my rereads, you'd know that even with a Time Bubble, this should be impossible because of the Flashpoint barrier. I mean, if they can just travel through time, the Legion in the future could've come back at any time and saved the day. But if we've learned nothing else from the moment DeFalco took over, everything that was said during Nicieza's run has been thrown out and ignored.

We begin on the Time Bubble - the captions and dialogue recap everything that happened last issue and, sadly, the Legion is still in the white versions of their costumes. Yes, this is a great way to get new readers onboard - monochromatic characters and no logos for easy identification.

Anyway, they end up a year or two after they left and they discover that the future isn't what they remember. Metropolis is completely deserted, overgrown with vegetation, and there is no sign of the Legion. The HQ is in shambles and I'm just going to point out that it would take around 30 years for this much plant life to take over the city.

I mean, it's a great visual... but can we make the book even slightly scientifically correct?

Yera immediately starts yelling at Tyroc, telling him that she told him that they shouldn't have left Harvest's influence behind. She wants to go back to the past to stop him. Tyroc can't respond, wondering if they're in a parallel universe, so Wildfire starts giving orders. Which, and I know I'm biased, he should've been doing from the beginning. Tyroc's been almost completely useless for the entire run.

Ship wreckage floats in the atmosphere and the entire population is gone. We see a destroyed Eiffel Tower as Gates teleports around the planet. Earth in the 31st Century is a wasteland.

Back at the HQ, Tyroc thinks about the prophecy, and how he was a fool to think he could escape it. Timber Wolf starts making fun of him, so Tyroc blasts him. Which Brin doesn't seem to mind.

Yera makes another comment that just doesn't fit in a Legion book: "You boys ready to put away the rulers and deal with the crisis at hand?" With every issue, I'm more and more convinced that DeFalco doesn't have a clue what book he's actually writing. Or anything about any of the characters.

Subplot alert: we go back to present day, where Major Nicholson (remember her?) has been transferred to work with Homeland Security to capture the Legionnaires. Or "cancel" them. I'm assuming they don't mean what we refer to as cancel culture.

Oh, and did no one think that, by introducing this subplot, you're basically telling the readers that the team is not going to stay in the future so everything we're reading is a complete waste of time? Or more of a waste of time?

The Legionnaires have broken into the HQ and discovered that almost everything is gone. Most concerning for one member of this team is the fact that there are no working containment suits. Wildfire's current one is busted so he's going to end up dissipating into a ball of energy.

Or they're trying to insinuate that he's going to die... which, again, confirms my theory. Yes, floating around as a ball of energy would suck, but Drake wouldn't be dead.

Crappy subplot alert - Nicholson interrogates Oz (remember him?) to try to find out where the Legion is located. And since he recorded them on his phone (remember from issue 8?), they figure they're connected. Since everyone has the depth of a kiddie pool, Oz is only interested in how much money he can make off of this.

Back in the future, Gates has found some spare clothing and we get another scene of everyone standing around and arguing. Yera wants to go back and stop Harvest. Gates wonders if they caused this by fighting him. Tyroc is still obsessed with the prophecy. And Wildfire blasts the ground. Wouldn't it have been great if the Legion had found any clue to let them know why this happened? You know, something that would drive the story forward and give them a clear goal in the past? You know, something that would make this an actual story instead of just a series of events?

Tyroc's plan is to jump ten years into the past and try to connect with the Legion at that time. But they realize Timber Wolf has disappeared, so Dawnstar heads off to find him.

Brin's located the memorial room in the HQ and discovered that the Legion figured they all had died. The statues are in rough shape - destroyed or decayed over time? I know this is shocking, but what did they expect? And as shocking as this is, couldn't they have spared another page to actually show any sort of emotional impact here?

I thought the subplot wasn't going to get any worse, but here we go. Nicholson's going to be working with a new paramilitary team. The members? Metamerican, Wideload, Trip, and Gunner. Nicholson points out the obvious - they're good soldiers but they're completely outmatched against the Legion. I'll also point out the obvious - these might be the most uninspired new villains I've seen in a long time.

To no surprise, when the Legion gets back into the Time Bubble, they're unable to move ten years into the past but, instead, are back in the Antarctic in the 21st Century. Harvest's entire HQ is gone and there's just a huge crater where everything (well, if we ignore how big the complex was) used to be. Anyone else remember when there was consistency between issues? 

To make things worse, the Bubble's exploded... again... and Yera, again, is certain Harvest has done it.

Oh, and Gates' spare clothing was actually new uniforms. I have no idea how... or where... he would've found these, especially with plant life destroying everything and him spending his time teleporting across the Earth, but since when does anything in this book make any sense?

Gates transports them back to New York City and they realize that all their gear (and their hotel room) was destroyed. So they need help. What's the best solution? Have Timber Wolf reconnect with Oz. Yep, the best choice of action is to find the guy who convinced Brin to rob a drug dealer.

Tyroc sends Yera with Brin, which leads to Yera challenging Tyroc and saying that he only wants her gone. I'm now starting to suspect that she didn't leave Gim but Colossal Boy couldn't stand being with her anymore.

If you figured that Nicholson, and the soldiers, were watching Oz, you'd be 100 percent right. Brin grabs Oz, guns are drawn, targets acquired, and they're all surprised Brin immediately knows something is wrong. Yeah, they're going against super-heroes and are shocked that the can sense danger.

Not sure why they wouldn't have noticed this before they got to Oz, but then we wouldn't have this cliffhanger...

Gunner shoots seven (yep, I counted them) times, hitting Brin square in the chest at least three times. Will he survive? Check out next issue to find out and ignore the simple fact that DC's been trying to make Timber Wolf into Wolverine for decades.

 

Why did I hate this issue? One simple reason.

This is the perfect time to lay out everything - What is Tyroc talking about? What does Tellus know that the others don't? Why does Yera know about Harvest and why does she want him dead? You could've used this issue as the setup for the next year of stories. You didn't need a trip to the future and to waste all that time. You just needed to get to the point.

Wait - there are more reasons.

Reading this feels like I'm reading a bad Marvel comic from the 90s. The plot is going nowhere, the characters change personalities page to page, any drama is manufactured and you don't know if they're going to resolve it. You can't trust that any of the dangling threads are ever going to get resolved.

And as much as I wasn't a big fan of Nicieza's run, did they need to completely throw out everything he had done? At this point, the only people still reading are people who either liked what had happened before or are diehard Legion fans. Does it make sense to piss off both of them?

In the end, nothing makes sense and I'm honestly just starting to feel sorry for Pete Woods. He deserved a much better book at this point and I think he could've left a really strong impression on Legion history. Instead, he gets to proudly say he worked on one of the biggest disappointments.