It's the Legion against pirates (who cares?) and Legion Lost faces off against a villain from the 1960s... let's look at Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #13 & Legion Lost (vol 2) #13

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #13

11 more issues to go before this series reaches its conclusion. These are the moments when I wonder what the editor and creative team are thinking. Legion Lost is about to be cancelled. This book's sales have been dropping every month (45,362 for issue #1 to 18,487 for this one) and I have to assume they're getting the same messages - start getting sales back or you're done.

Do you start trying anything you can to get more people to read the book? Is this why artist Scott Kolins has taken over? Does writer Paul Levitz have another trick up his sleeve or is he just staring at his computer and wondering why this experience is so different from his last run on the Legion? Is he calling Keith Giffen every day? Do they have just as many "Questions" as the book itself?

We begin on an asteroid mine, where Element Lad and Cosmic Boy as actually doing something, and Chemical Kid is standing behind them, wondering why they're there. This is the fifth time these mines have been raided, so it's now time for the Legion to help. Fourth time not enough, I guess.

The pirates are grabbing a huge rock and Chemical Kid thinks this is serious trouble. Cosmic Boy uses his powers to grab the rock and prevent the pirates from succeeding. I believe that, at this time, Hadru's job is solely to stand around, ask questions, and look surprised when the Legionnaires do their jobs. He's not bringing anything else to the team. I never thought I'd write this, but I kinda miss the arrogant jerk he was in Adventure Comics. At least he was useful.

To make things worse, as the fragments of the rock come flying down on the Legionnaires, Hadru is frozen. Jan takes a piece to the arm (not sure why he's not converting them to something else) but Cosmic Boy stops the rest while berating Chemical Kid. Element Lad defends him and I have no idea why this person's a Legionnaire. Surely there's someone better for this job. But if they're trying to elevate Chemical King in retrospect, they're achieving that as well.

Back at Legion HQ, Brainiac 5 is keeping Comet Queen sedated and in some sort of plastic container until he finds out why she betrayed the team when they faced off against the Dominators. Duplicate Damsel is, understandably, upset by this and I'm kinda surprised Bouncing Boy isn't on her side as well. Yes, Comet Queen betrayed the team, but surely she has some sort of right of self defense. Or to be conscious through this. Brainy starts scanning her brain and Chuck makes it even worse, saying that Luornu isn't thinking clearly.

Okay, I know that Levitz's different takes on 31st Century law enforcement and punishment often get into the "how close to fascism can we get" territory, but this is a step too far. Does Comet Queen not have the basic right to be woken up and let her explain what's going on? Or can they not call Saturn Girl to see what's going on in her mind?

Anyway, if you thought they couldn't make this story worse, Duplicate Damsel runs into Dream Girl in the Hall of Heroes (I don't think they can go two issues without showing the big golden statues). Nura challenges Luornu, asking why she risked her life to save Brainy if she doesn't like him. Luornu says that Nura was there, too, but Dream Girl pushes back - Duplicate Damsel never liked her.

Then Nura drops this line: "And your feelings about Brainy have been much more... conflicted." I should also mention that this entire scene happens under Karate Kid's statue. Okay, so let's list out every Legionnaire Luornu apparently has strong enough feelings for that she was willing to risk her life (and in some cases die) for: Superboy, Karate Kid, and now Brainiac 5. But not her husband, Chuck. I just feel sorry for the guy at this point.

Back in space, the trio of Legionnaires we saw before are flying in a cruiser, trying to catch up with the pirates. Both Element Lad and Cosmic Boy are laying into Chemical Kid for not being prepared and not having some standard defenses for dangerous situations. Hadru says that he may have skipped that class.

They get to the damaged ship, the trio activate their transuits, and head off into battle. But Cosmic Boy's powers don't work - what's going on?

Next, we get the Levitz-standard "hey, remember the subplots I was working on before?" moment. In case you forgot, someone's trying to recreate the Fatal Five, so team leader Mon-El has got different teams trying to figure out what's going on. He asks Glorith to try to use her powers to find the Tharok chip that was stolen a few issues ago. He's sent Sun Boy and a few others to make sure the Persuader's axe is still locked up. So Dirk and Phantom Girl head into a storage facility to make sure the axe is where it's supposed to be.

Back to space, where Cosmic Boy is trying to figure out how this pirate ship feels organic and it's turning his powers against him. How? Three of the pirates are from Braal and they're using their magnetic powers against him. Since it's standard that the Legionnaires are idiots when they head into battle, Rokk is taken out by a rock to the head. So the Legionnaire who is the best in the universe at using his magnetic powers is beaten by a small rock from behind?

Chemical Kid is using his powers to speed up the oxidation and suddenly there's a massive explosion. Element Lad is not happy about this new development and flies towards the ship. He finds Rokk's unconscious body and Chemical Kid tells him that the raiders are pulling away. But Jan's first priority is to save Rokk (duh) and they can catch the pirates later.

First things first, I get that they're trying to show Jan training Hadru and have a little fun with an inexperienced Legionnaire on the team. But I still don't know why they had to change Chemical Kid's personality so dramatically to get there. Or, honestly, why the Legion would even put up with it for so long? I mean, at what point do you just bench him and keep him on Earth?

Second, I always think it's a rough moment in a comic when the main plot (finding the raiders) is less interesting then the subplot. When they mention the Fatal Five, I care. When they mention the pirates, I don't.

Third, as much as I complained about how they're, once again, doing Chuck dirty, delving into Luornu's emotional connection to different Legionnaires could make for a fascinating story. Does each of her bodies like a different person? Now that she can split into an unlimited number, does that mess with her emotions to a greater degree?

But Brainy? Really? And do we need Brainy to be a sociopath? And do we need the rest of the Legion to bury their heads in the sand and pretend nothing's wrong?

I will say, having Dream Girl call her out, and make the comment that Luornu never wanted her on the team, was a great flashback to Nura's first appearances and the understanding that she's not great friends with a lot of the female Legionnaires. Having tension between the team members can make for great storytelling.

Now, Scott Kolins. When I started reading this comic, one other artist came to mind: Steve Ditko. But Legion Ditko (so the bad one) and not Spider-Man Ditko (the good one). This issue really looks like Kolins spent a lot of time reading old Ditko comics and decided to "borrow" some of his poses and anatomy. He also really, really struggled with making any of the artwork have any sort of depth, so people's arms just end, there's no sense of scale, and the whole book just looks... well... like it was drawn in the 1960s. And then colored in the 2010s, making it look really weird. 

 

Legion Lost (vol 2) #13

Speaking of horrible sales, this issue sold 15,377 copies. I would love to ask a comic creator what it's like finishing off a series that you know is going to get cancelled. I'm sure that, by this issue, everyone knew it was done with #16. Are they just trying to get to one final story? Have they been told to get the Legionnaires back to the future? Is there any push to wrap any of the dangling subplots? Professionalism takes over, of course, so they get the pages done and get paid, but how much enthusiasm can you possibly have?

"Planetcide!" is written by Tom DeFalco with art by Pete Woods. There is no easier way to establish a villain's cred then by having them destroy an entire planet so that's what happens. The poor Utari, a race of green aliens, are wiped out and Tellus responds to the death cry.

DeFalco also decided to prove me wrong by moving the team to New Orleans for reasons that I hope they will explain later. I was certain he was going to stay in New York because it's easier to write. Or because he still thinks he's working for Marvel.

Tellus senses that the planet was destroyed by one being and it's getting closer to Earth. Of course, his powers aren't strong enough that he can certain - Tellus can only sense the direction, not the destination. So Tyroc sends Wildfire on a scouting mission. Since I love pointing out the DeFalco doesn't seem to care that these characters are from the future, here's Tyroc's line of dialogue: "Wildfire, follow the yellow brick road."

Drake is snappy at everyone and flies off by himself, not wanting Dawnstar to join him. We get (and I'm going to pay this book a compliment, so sit down) a great silent panel of Dawnstar staring off, watching Wildfire leave. Wow, so DeFalco does know how to let a moment breathe.

Yera and Tyroc are nice enough to provide the exposition here - they're moving from city to city to avoid the military. I wonder why they wouldn't just leave the United States if it's that country's military chasing them. Tyroc defends sending Wildfire to check on this new threat because they're the Legion and their job is to protect the galaxy. Yera then repeats the Harvest back story, filling us in on all the subplots, and Tyroc finally asks the question we've been wondering about: how does Yera know all this stuff?

Okay, I'm going to warn every longtime Legion reader before I start this recap - this scene is going to irritate you.

We get a flashback of Yera in the 31st Century. For reasons that make no sense, she has hair in the future but is hairless in the 21st Century. Oh, and she has antenna but not now. Why?

Anyway, we get the big reveal that she's been working for Echo, which is some shadow organization in the Science Police that's been spying on the Legion because they want to watch the Time Institute. The mysterious head of Echo also says that they have other agents in the Legion as well.

Yera wants to quit because she thinks the Legion deserve better and she promises it has nothing to do with her breakup with Colossal Boy. It's a rough day to be a married male Legionnaire, am I right?

She gets her new assignment because she can't resign: go back in the past, find Echo's rogue agent, and terminate them.

Back to the 21st Century as they all know Yera's lying but aren't going to do anything about it. If only you had a telepath who can discretely enter Yera's mind and get some sort of clue about what's going on. But you can't, of course, because almost every one of these Legionnaires is carrying some deep, dark secret.

We join Wildfire and someone finally explained to DeFalco that when Drake's containment suit ruptures, he won't actually die. Wildfire knows he has to let Dawnstar move on because he's going to become a blob of energy pretty soon. While he's flying through space, he runs into the villain of this issue.

It's a guy names Lord Daggor, who's flying on a space dragon named Thraxx. He can speak telepathically, so Wildfire can understand him, and he's wondering whether Drake is "worthy of our mettle!"

Remember that I asked before how these creators would handle being on a book so close to the end? DeFalco is apparently "borrowing" plots and characters from old Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four issues.

Back on Earth, we get a moment that should be interesting (Gates and Timber Wolf are "training" at an abandoned amusement park) but is just more of DeFalco's "I'm going to mention these subplots but not actually give you enough information to move forward" pages. Brin asks Gates about his scars, but Gates won't tell him anything. Brin talks about Echo and we get a flashback where he talks to... oh, who cares - if the writer isn't going to identify him, why should we care about him?

Back to the Yera flashback and we see that Echo has put together the team of Legionnaires heading to the past. Why Gates? He may be the traitor... which is rich considering Yera's the traitor, right? And why Wildfire? Because they found his faceplate in the Arizona desert and it was dated at 1,000 years old. And why Tyroc? Because the ancient prophecy talks about how he died before he was born. Yes, they are starting to explain these moronic subplots... I guess that's a positive??

Wildfire and Tyroc are time paradoxes who have to die in the past, according to the Echo leader who, of course, has a wicked scar running over his right eye. This is supposed to be a big reveal, I think, but I have no clue who this is.

Back out in space, Lord Daggor and his dragon want to fight Wildfire, but he doesn't want to fight them. They're puzzled - Drake is obviously a warrior, but he "is burdened by conscience and emotion." Drake also learns that Daggor's next target is, of course, Earth.

Speaking of Earth, Harvest shows up again and is excited that "the sacred circle will soon unleash the events destined to save the world -- or prove its ultimate destruction." He calls on Omen to summon Psykill and Warblade (I just have to mention these names to point out how unoriginal they all are) and a time bubble appears somewhere.

The Legionnaires immediately know that a Time Bubble has arrived and are excited the Legion has come back to rescue them. But they have to get Wildfire first, and he's out of Tellus' range.

Drake's trying his best to keep Daggor away from Earth, which is why it makes no sense that they're flying directly towards it. The villains know about the planet, know about his friends, and are ready to conquer everything. Telepaths actually using their powers - what a novel concept.

The Legion uses one of Gates' teleportation discs to get to the Time Bubble (which arrived in Arizona) and one person gets out. It's Captain Adym, the leader of Echo and the guy who met Timber Wolf last issue. How the heck was I supposed to know that in the past reveal? This is a character who showed up for one page in the zero issue.

He tells them that this isn't a rescue mission, but he's there to stop a breakpoint in time, which might erase the entire world. He says he's been authorized by the S.P.s and the Legion to commandeer them to stop it.

Gates doesn't believe him - there's no way they'd only send one person back and there's no way they wouldn't tell every hero in the 21st Century. I do love it when Gates is the smartest person in the scene.

Which is, of course, when Wildfire crashes into the ground. Daggor and Thraxx are right behind him and our main villain orders the dragon to kill them all.

I will be so glad when this series is over. 

I always like to send these reviews on a positive note, so I just want to thank everyone for checking out our interview with Joshua Williamson on the Long Live the Legion podcast. We had more YouTube views than ever before!

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