Two zero issues that focus on the wrong characters and don't really bring much to the table... let's look at Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #0 & Legion Lost (vol 2) #0

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #0

No need for a recap because I believe both of these are kinda standalone issues. And that's better for me because I don't have to relive the horrors that came before this.

I remember making the case on the podcast that you really couldn't tell who were writer Paul Levitz's favorite Legionnaires. And for his first and second runs on the Legion, I think that was true. On this one, I think you can safely say he'd rather write Brainiac 5 and Dream Girl over almost anyone else.

I think it's also safe to say that if you were going to ask me which Legionnaire least needed to be the focus of a standalone issue, I'd pick Brainy. He was the focus of Legion: Secret Origin. And the last Dominator storyline. And most Legion storylines since... well... when did he quit in volume 3?

"Brainiac's Original Sin" has art by Scott Kolins - I'm guessing Francis Portela either needed a break or is heading for brighter pastures. If Kolins' name is familiar to you, it's because he took over Legion of Super-Heroes volume 4 at the end of that run and has been working for DC and Marvel for a long time now.

This story takes place in the past, "shortly after the founding of the Legion," so this might lean more into Levitz's wheelhouse. I've been saying for a while that he seems to be enjoying writing stories of the Legion's past, and when they were teenagers, more than when he's writing the current adventures.

We begin on Colu, where Cosmic Boy, Lightning Lad, and Phantom Girl are fighting off giant robot insects as they ride around on flying bikes. As the guys blast away at the machines, showing off their powers, they talk about how Colu is a closed world. They actually use teamwork to "kill" a ton of these robots, happy to work together. Which is when Tinya ruins the celebration by wondering about the rest of the machines.

Ultra Boy shows up, punching and blasting them with his ultra vision. Something blasts him and we get some text explaining that he's got to focus and switch his powers to flight. This is a pre-Flight Ring story even though gravity doesn't seem to be a problem for Phantom Girl. There's a big question that I've never thought about before - can she fly when she's immaterial? I guess so.

As the Legionnaires rescue the trapped Coluans, Brainiac 5 shows up with some of the leaders of the planet and they debate whether the Legion can actually help. Tinya gives him a big hug, calling him "Brainy," and the Coluans are shocked. "Th-this was not in your report of your visit to Earth."

What caused the destruction on Colu? They sealed away Brainiac One's machines and knowledge in a big chamber and someone broke inside, letting them loose.

Who's inside the chamber? A bald thief sneaks through, trying to find the best technology to steal. Just as he's about to choose, three floating Brainiac brains blast him and prepare to terminate him. But before they start, they give him one piece of tech and send him away. They also identify him: Tharok. I guess evil identifies evil, right?

Also, why would Colu keep any of the tech active? I mean, I get keeping it shut down so they can study it, but having active robotics ready to attack? Are the Coluans idiots?

Also also, am I the only one who thinks that the idea that Brainiac One's tech is still top-of-the-line 1,000 years in the future is a really, really bad one? We got into that last issue where Brainy (that's the 5 version) was talking about his Force Shield belt as ancient tech that was priceless... I'm assuming he means that he got it from his ancestors. Yes, Brainiac One has the best tech in current day. But 1,000 years in the future? That would be like arguing that a trebuchet would be better tech than a rocket launcher.

On the planet surface, a huge round, tentacled machine is about to blast some Coluans and they're trying to use tools used for gardening to stop it. Needless to say, things don't go well.

Luckily, the Legion shows up and saves them. They start asking what the Coluans were protecting and get this answer: "The child." Not children, but the first child born since Brainiac 5. So we shouldn't be surprised that every Coluan we've seen so far looks ancient.

Elsewhere, Phantom Girl is still trying to convince Brainy to join the team. Before they can resolve that point, she finds the child and Brainy hands the baby Coluan to the others.

The Legion keeps fighting, trying to stop everything that's emerging from the vault of Brainiac One's weapons. They realize they've got to find a way to prevent the vault from unleashing something else, so Brainy gets Ultra Boy to pick it up and throw it off the planet. In true comic book fashion, the vault keeps changing shape, both inside and out, so Jo is able to heave it into space fairly easily.

As the Legion flies back to Earth, we learn that Brainy has agreed to join the team and, to make the title of the issue make sense, that he's the one who opened the vault. Let's hope they explain why in a future issue.

Hah... hope... this entire issue exists to set up what's coming. We know the Fatal Five are coming back together. They want to elevate Tharok by giving him Brainiac tech. The bigger question is whether the child will show up again. Do we have a Brainy replacement?

At the end of the book, we get a 0 issue checklist (thanks DC for giving me a list of comics to avoid). There's also a one page "Who's Who in the New 52" that explains who the Legion of Super-Heroes are. I'm just a little annoyed that the first appearance is listed as issue 1 from 2011. And that they forgot some of the members in the list they presented:

• Mon-El
• Brainiac 5
• Cosmic Boy
• Dream Girl
• Chemical Kid
• Ultra Boy
• Phantom Girl
• Chameleon Boy
• Dragonwing
• Colossal Boy
• Comet Queen
• Star Boy
• Element Lad
• Sun Boy

Can you spot the mistakes?

This was a pretty basic fill-in story that didn't really accomplish much, aside from showing how Tharok ended up with Coluan tech. But as a semi-sequel to Secret Origin, it was more enjoyable than the regular stories we've been seeing in these books.

Wouldn't it have been great if the entire book had been told from Ultra Boy's perspective? He's just joined the team, he's got a crush on Phantom Girl, and he can't understand why she's happy to see Brainy. Then he keys an eye on Brainy and overhears him saying something to the Coluan council about having to leave the planet because he opened the vault. Does he tell the rest of them? Would they believe him, especially if he's still struggling to control his powers?

I honestly never thought I would write this, but I missed Francis Portela here. Kolins' artwork just never really worked and, I know I'm repeating myself here, he needs an inker. Just having a colorist go over his artwork is missing something. I know we're still figuring out the new way to draw comics at this point, but it's not working they way they want it to.

 

Legion Lost (vol 2) #0

Speaking of missing something, like a coherent plot, or an understanding of the characters, or a connection between the two Legion books, let's take a look at the zero issue for Legion Lost. Here we were promised Timber Wolf's origin story along with more background on whatever the heck Echo is.

"The Predator and the Prey" is written by Tom DeFalco with art by Pete Woods and special thanks to Ron Frenz, which I'm going to assume means that, like last issue, he handled breakdowns.

Does anyone else remember back in the 70s and early 80s when then Legion editor Jack C. Harris would get Steve Ditko to pencil fill-in issues of the title? Did he do it because Ditko was producing amazing work? Nope. Did he do it because Ditko needed work to be able to pay the bills? Yep. That's what this kinda feels like. Nothing against Frenz, but Woods proved for 11 straight issues that his artwork, and layouts, were top notch... even when the stories weren't. Why add Frenz to the mix?

We begin this issue on Zuun, before Timber Wolf joined the Legion. He's "that sprokking Lone Wolf vigilante," breaking into some place with "inertron-jacketed projectiles" firing off around him. Okay, so someone's created inertron bullets? Does that mean they'll go through everything?

He's smashing through the guards to get to Lord Vykor's palace, breaking bones and slicing through them with his claws. He's there to kill the lordship but pauses, unsure of why he's there.

We flashback to his childhood. His mother, Kana, took him to the zoo to see real Timber Wolves from Earth. His father, Marr, didn't go, saying that he needed to work and they need to get ready for their patron to arrive. If their lordship is pleased, they'll get more resources to complete their work.

This should come as no shock, but Vykor is the same lord. And Marr Londo's discovery? A serum that makes any organism resistant to any disease, able to heal from almost any injury, and enhances physical capabilities. If only it gave them a metal skeleton, right?

Vykor wants the serum now, to be used on hundreds of his associates. But Londo says they still need clinical trials and government permission. So Vykor shoots Kana, saying that he just needs proper motivation.

Marr tries to use the serum but doesn't know the correct dosage. So he and Brin watch Kana die in front of them. He's given a month to perfect the serum and they're unable to leave their home.

As weeks pass, Marr gets increasingly... let's say deranged... He's talking to his dead wife, he's testing everything on himself, and he finally goes one step further. He injects the serum into Brin, saying that they can't let Vykor win.

When Vykor returns to get the serum, this time threatening Brin's life, Marr attacks. Judging by the claws he's grown, the serum has had some sort of an effect. But not enough, as he's quickly shot by Vykor and his men.

Brin attacks but is told by his father that the entire lab has been wired to self-destruct. He's not going to give his work to the lord. So Brin leaves, jumping through a gigantic plate-glass window. His powers are already taking over and he's able to get down the skyscraper they live in to the relative safety below.

Vykor, realizing that Marr is already starting to heal, slits the man's throat and orders his soldiers to find Brin. After all, the boy's blood is valuable.

(Not sure why they wouldn't grab Marr, but maybe that's a future "twist" coming up in this story.)

Brin wanders into Lowtown, where he grows up, stays angry, and protects "those who could not protect themselves."

By the time he's a teenager, he's hunting Vykor, drawing the attention of the Science Police... which brings us to the beginning of this issue. He bursts into Vykor's home and we immediately get the standard villain speech: He's been waiting for Brin to find him. He's disappointed it took so long. Blah blah blah.

Vykor's son, Tor, arrives and attacks. They both took the same serum so Brin's now facing two enemies with the same powers. Why no, it doesn't make any sense if the lab blew up so quickly. And no, his father would have destroyed any extra serum before the showdown. And his son somehow looks older than his father. And even though Vykor took the serum, his ear never healed and he's wearing a robot attachment to be able to hear better than before.

Brin and Tor fight and the future Legionnaire refuses to kill his enemy. He asks himself, who wins if Vykor dies? So while Tor prattles on about how he spent his entire life training for this battle, Brin slashes him with his claws.

So Vykor starts shooting, saying that he paid for the serum and it belongs to him. Again, I'll point out that he took at least two samples of the serum - so he got what he paid for. Why didn't he get his scientists to study and replicate it?

More fighting and we end up with Brin's claws at Tor's throat. Vykor steps in, pleading with Brin not to kill his son. He claims that his son is innocent... just like Brin's mother. This stops Brin from killing the villains.

So Brin calls the Science Police and they arrest Vykor and his son for some sort of crimes that are never referred to and have nothing to do with what Brin did. In fact, Brin should've been the one who got arrested for breaking in and assaulting the guards. And if the S.P.s had evidence to arrest the two, why didn't they just show up and arrest them before?

The S.P. officer, Captain Adym, offers to write a letter of recommendation for Brin to join the Legion - this time using his new super-hero name: Timber Wolf.

For anyone who thinks that this version of the Legion is just a continuation of the OG Legion, this issue is example #475 to the contrary.

Much like what I said about the other zero issue, Timber Wolf was the last Legionnaire who needed his own special origin story, or more attention. We've seen him enough. He's had his own mini-series. His origin is, to be kinda blunt, pretty boring. It also contributes nothing to to regular series.

But an issue focused on Tyroc so we learn about the prophecy? Or one telling us about Yera, so we understand why she split with Colossal Boy and why she hates the rest of the team? Or Gates, so we see what kinda crap he took when he moved into another universe and joined a different Legion?

Nope... instead we get an idiotic, kinda revenge story that shows us nothing new except that Timber Wolf should actually be illiterate. And he won't kill anyone - which makes absolutely no sense when you read the story.

Once again, and not because they're breaking new ground of telling amazing stories, LSH is the far better book of the month and Legion Lost reads like only the artist cares in the slightest.

Four issues to go... 

This week, we were supposed to have a special Long Live the Legion podcast focused on one of the most recognizable female members. But instead of sharing that one with you, we got lucky enough to interview a writer who's working on a little book called Superman. Oh, and Legion of Super-Heroes. We talked to Joshua Williamson! Check it out wherever you listen to your podcasts or on YouTube!