We reach the end of this story and I have so many questions... anyone want to place bets on when they told the creative team this book was cancelled? Let's look at Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #21 & 22

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #21

There are a couple of things that are breaking my brain as I get ready to read these two issues. One, I can't believe that we're almost at the end of the New 52 Legion. The fact that it didn't even last two years is kinda shocking to me. And two, this issue came out 13 years ago and we've had less than 40 more Legion-related comics since then. How did we go from the Legion being one of the best-selling books DC had to a super-team that they effectively buried for 8 out of 13 years?

Here's your speedy recap: The Legion is down multiple members while the Fatal Four (I'll call them Five when they introduce the last one) is basically destroying the entire galaxy in the most backwards way possible. Tharok has taken control of a Promethean Giant but pretty much done nothing with them. He's also jumping from planet to planet, shutting down their quark relays, so technology has ceased to work on a number of planets (Earth, Rimbor, etc.). The Emerald Empress showed up at Weber's World, maimed Mon-El because none of the Legionnaires helped him, and then was encased in inertron by Element Lad so she's done... I guess. Validus showed up at The Sorcerer's World to destroy it from the inside, so the Black Witch cast a spell to shrink him and then she and Glorith teleported the entire planet... somewhere.

The Persuader has finally shown up on Earth to attack the remnants of the Legion HQ and is ready to kill Duplicate Damsel... or has killed her... and no, I have no idea where Bouncing Boy, thanks for asking.

"Endings - Past One" is written by Paul Levitz with art by Jeff Johnson. We no longer have a credit for Keith Giffen, so maybe even he realized this story wasn't very good. Or this is the point where they announced the cancellation, so he figured it made more sense to focus on Larfleeze than the Legion. Yes, it hurt a little to type that out.

I also spent way too much time trying to figure out how I knew Jeff Johnson's work, thinking this might have been an early job to wrap up a title. Nope. He was the Wonder Man penciller for Marvel back in the early 90s. And he did a bunch of work for Crossgen. The more you know, right?

The quark relays are back and running, so the Legionnaires on a cruiser that's headed to Earth are able to see what's going on. Yes, it's a cliched way of showing the reader what was revealed last issue, but we see Persuader standing over the unconscious (or dead) body of Duplicate Damsel. Chameleon Boy and Ultra Boy are directly behind him, ready to attack. (Yes, I'm finally going to accept that it's just "Persuader" not "The Persuader" even though it doesn't really make sense to me)

But before we get into the action, we need some arguing and a plan. Brainiac 5 ponders over what these changes mean and is it possible for them to be in multiple places to help the most people. Cosmic Boy shouts, Element Lad recaps the destruction, Harmonia gets one line, and the rest of them stand in silence. Who else in aboard? Shrinking Violet, Lightning Lass, Chemical Kid, Dream Girl, Shadow Lass, and the injured Mon-El floating in a recovery tube.

Okay, now we get some action. Cham and Jo attack Persuader and, to no surprise, Cham forgets how to change shape and is easily defeated. Why or why can't they write these characters to be even slightly effective?

Jo slams a huge piece of stone into the back of Persuader's head and we ignore concussions to keep fighting. It's a stone against the axe and it takes way too long for our villain to cleave the rock. Persuader is also able to let us know that Sun Boy died, Mon-El is injured, and that Phantom Girl "fled this dimension for her own and left you leaderless!" I have absolutely no idea how he knows the last bit, but when has any sense of reality gotten in the way of a good burst of exposition?

Also, does this mean Star Boy isn't dead?

Dream Girl sure isn't acting like it. She's standing beside Shadow Lass on the cruiser, watching Tasmia yell at Mon-El's unconscious body, ordering him to live. Chemical Kid enters the scene and tells her that Brainy gave him a list of chemical reactions to slow down to help keep Mon-El alive.

For some reason that, again, makes no sense, Nura and Hadru act like they have to wait for Tasmia's permission to start helping Mon-El. Um, Tasmia doesn't have any say in the matter. The pair are long broken up and she's made it abundantly clear they're not getting back together. Just another weird scene.

So Tasmia grabs Nura and asks her to look into the future. But she refuses: "I'm afraid to look ahead. Since Thom was crushed, everything I see is dark and funereal." Okay, so he's dead. And sorry, Nura, but your one job is to look to the future and help the team with the information. You haven't shown any emotion for a while so I think you can use your powers and do something.

Let's move on to other missing Legionnaires. Invisible Kid and Polar Boy are in another dimension and facing the... I'm gonna say ghosts... of Lyle Norg, Ferro Lad, and Earth-Man. The ghosts talk to them, giving them advice, and then Ferro Lad says, "Your power that brought you here can take you back, Jacques Foccart... but beware... death waits on the battlefield, and you may return here... forever."

Is this where dead Legionnaires go? Will only Jacques go there if/when he dies? Does any of this make any sense in the slightest? Does this mean they're not demons, as we saw back in the 80s when we last went to this dimension? Are we really supposed to accept that Legionnaires go to some shadow realm when they die? And if so, where's Chemical King?

Back to Earth, where Ultra Boy has given up since he knows Phantom Girl is gone and just waits for the axe to strike. Luckily, the Legion cruiser arrives just in time and Lightning Lass blasts Persuader.

He's nice enough to remind us that his axe can cut through anything (it just takes a lot of time, as we saw with the rock earlier). He slams it into the ground and blasts of energy explode upwards, throwing the Legionnaires around.

Brainy tells them it's a "gravitational energy imbalance" and he has to save the cruiser. Once again, Brainy is more concerned with saving equipment than people. Wow... Element Lad flies down to face the villain and they realize that the whole city of Metropolis is collapsing.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Tharok appears out of some portal in the ground (seriously, no idea what this is) and reveals that he restored the quark relays to trick the Legionnaires to return to Earth. Then the Emerald Empress arrives because... well, why not? I mean, I don't expect them to explain how she got out of her inertron cocoon so who cares at this point.

It's the Fatal Three against what's left of the Legion and, once again, Persuader's axe can't cut through anything. Brainy's force field stops it.

Element Lad tries the same trick with the Empress and she tells him that, because of Tharok's control of "digispace," she can go anywhere. Wow - I'm actually kinda surprised they took the time to make sense of that.

Somehow Brainy, Ultra Boy (holding an unconscious Lightning Lass), and Cosmic Boy end up behind a force shield and our favorite Coluan brags that nothing can get past that barrier. Which is when Tharok takes control of the device and turns it off. The Empress blasts them and it looks like the entire Legion is defeated, most of them without a fight.

Except for the two Legionnaires left... Saturn Girl and Lightning Lad have arrived.

Okay, so first we're aping The Magic Wars and now Earth War? 

Is there any chance this gets better next issue? 

 

Legion of Super-Heroes (vol 7) #22

Is it bad that I just assume this cover was a rush job and artist J.J. Kirby (or Juvaun Kirby according to the Grand Comics Database) is far better than this shows? He has to be, doesn't he? I mean, I'm not the only one who thinks this is horrible, right?

It's "Endings - Part Two" by Levitz, Johnson, and inker Andy Smith.

Someone reminded them that most of the Legionnaires are unconscious and on the ground, so we get that for the first splash page. While Persuader and Tharok boast about how they're going to kill everyone, I can't stop focusing on Saturn Girl's sandals.

 

I'm not going crazy, am I? Those straps over the tops of her feet look like she's in sandals, right?

Oh, and if you were wondering, they never show up again. She's in regular boots for the rest of the book.

The showdown begins and Persuader is nice enough to remind us that his Atomic Axe (he finally called it that) can cut through anything. Well, except rock, as we saw last issue. Saturn Girl starts to take control of Tharok's mind, even though he doesn't really have one, when the Empress shows up and blasts her.

Yes, so the Empress, who maimed Mon-El a couple of issues ago, just lightly blasts Saturn Girl and then grabs her by her ponytail.

Tharok tells Lightning Lad that he hopes "...she kills your bitch slowly" and we know we're in the New 52 because everything's darker. Persuader keeps slicing through the lightning blasts the Garth is throwing at him. Which is why he just stops attacking the villain and bends over, ready to be killed. 

Yep, that's the Lightning Lad I know. Just giving up when it gets tough. Since Ultra Boy did the same thing last issue, I'm assuming the entire Legion is done fighting back.

Lucky for him, Lightning Lass has woken up and the pair of them zap Persuader, rendering him unconscious. Again, if only Garth had blasted Persuader somewhere he couldn't slice, maybe he wouldn't have been in any danger at all.

Tharok orders the Empress back and the pair escape through a teleportation cylinder, taking Saturn Girl with them. Just to be clear, Tharok is a computer entity who can jump through quark relays but he now needs the Empress to teleport him places? And they just leave Persuader behind? So why call for help? Why stop the Empress from killing Imra and, instead, promise they'll kill her somewhere else? Why not just kill all the unconscious Legionnaires who are lying on the ground?

Oh, so Lightning Lad can jump through the teleportation beam and continue the fight elsewhere. That's why.

Once again, we head back to the Promethean Giant. As it floats through space, Sensor Girl is talking to someone about how they must risk everything to end this threat. How do I know it's Sensor Girl? Her logo on the captions. She refers to the person as "my love." And this man is wearing brown gauntlets. Please tell me they're not bringing him back just to kill him again...

On the surface of the giant, the Empress blasts Lightning Lad and then smacks Saturn Girl again. Wow, Garth, I knew you were retired, but you couldn't have done... well... anything?

She talks about how she has the privilege to murder them. They trade insults as Imra tells her that she's not afraid - she's faced Darkseid. Then she gets to the Empress' brain and orders her to fall. Which she does. Wow - the Empress has been kinda easy to take out this whole story. How did she do so much damage to Mon-El?

Imra turns her powers on Tharok, which is something that worked before, but it doesn't work now because they remembered that he doesn't actually have a mind and, therefore, isn't susceptible to her mind control. Seriously, she did it just a couple of pages before. But now she can't?

Then, from out of nowhere and with no explanation, Invisible Kid and Polar Boy appear from that strange dimension. You'd think they'd do something but, once again, nope. They just stand there, surprised to be back in their own universe.

Oh, and in case you're wondering if they learned anything, or that journey helped them at all, the answer is, of course, nope.

Tharok takes complete control of the Giant and orders them to destroy the four Legionnaires. Oh, and once again, they've just stopped drawing any unconscious Legionnaires so Lightning Lad disappeared.

Suddenly a large, orb-shaped ship arrives. It's carrying Sensor Girl and Karate Kid. She uses her powers to set the Giant free and wakes them up. The pair stand, pose, she takes off her mask, and she tells Val that there's no point in him going down to fight anyone because it'll be over before he gets there.

If you had told me that the final showdown of this Legion vs the Fatal Five (well, four, actually) was going to be Tharok against Polar Boy, I don't think I would've believed you. But that's what we have.

Polar Boy lowers everything to absolute zero, which freezes electrons and prevents Tharok from moving. Or kills him... maybe...

Yes, kills him. Brainiac 5 confirms that the quark relays still aren't working "after his death" but some technology is returning. Duplicate Damsel shows up to pick up the dead duplicate that's been lying on the ground for three issues. Where was she before? And where was Bouncing Boy, who finally shows up as well?

In case I didn't make this clear before, at no point did the story tell you that Duplicate Damsel was dead. She was just lying on the ground and no Legionnaire ever went to check on her to make sure she's okay. Or not okay. Heck, half the time she just "disappeared" from the story. So having her other body show up to reveal that she wasn't dead, only one of her bodies was dead, wasn't the big reveal they wanted it to be.

Also, at this point, does anything actually think Luornu can die? I mean, how many times does one of her bodies get killed and she reveals herself to be fine next issue? 

The rest of the Legion stands around, having finally woken up, and Luornu gets to deliver the final line: "... now we have to see if the Legion can..." survive.

But we're not done yet - Brainiac 5 is crying, saying that everything is all his fault. Hmm, so he showed no emotions while the craziness was going on, cared more about his tech than his teammates, and is directly responsible for Star Boy's death, but now he's crying?

 

Does any of this story make sense? Nope. 

Does this story make the Legion look strong or competent? Nope.

 

Before my rant about how horrible this is, I'm just going to say one good thing. I actually liked Jeff Johnson's art here. Some of it looked a little cartoony, but the action flowed, the facial expressions were great, and he's a good storyteller. And it didn't like look a bad Ditko ripoff. So I'm going to thank him for being a professional, getting through the two issues, and doing what looks like his best.

 

I know that pointing out plot holes here is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel because you can tell Levitz couldn't tell the story he wanted to because the book was cancelled suddenly, so I'm just going to focus on the big one:

It's revealed in issue #0 that Tharok stole Brainiac 1's tech before he was half man/half machine. So this means the Fatal Five have had this tech for the entire time they've existed. So the Legion should have figured out how to stop this a long time ago - if they hadn't, the Fatal Five would rule the galaxy. This whole reveal of how this is Brainiac 5's fault, which it is based on that same issue, should've also come years and years ago.

And at the end of the day, Brainy is probably more responsible for a Legionnaire's death (Star Boy) than Tharok is (Sun Boy).

 

I can't resist - here are my questions:

• Why did Tharok mention another threat like he was alluding to a fifth member, when they never showed up?
• Why did he take over the Promethean Giant, who ended up doing nothing?
• Was the Promethean Giant supposed to be the fifth member? Were they supposed to be released from Tharok's control and help the Legion? Was there a purpose to that entire subplot? 
• Where did Karate Kid come from? 
• What was the point of sending Jacques and Brek to the other dimension? They didn't learn anything at all.
• Is a future technological society so badly designed that they wouldn't have back-ups and safeguards in case their tech failed?
• Did half the Legionnaires actually get to do anything in this story? 
• Did no one on the creative or editorial team wonder if maybe the readers would want to see the Legion fighting as a unit or did they think it was better to have everyone go one-on-one against these villains?
• Have we completely thrown away the Legion code against killing?
• Do you think Levitz has nightmares about his time writing this version of the Legion?
• Can anyone explain to me why they hate Sun Boy so much?

Okay, we have one issue to go... see ya next week when we get to the end of this horrific excuse of a Legion book.